Homework issues
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11-09-2014, 08:58 AM
Homework issues
Well, Evan (my 11 yo son) is at it again. Starting the school year like the other two. Taking all night to do about 1 hour worth of home work, leaving assignments at school, rushing through test and making bad grades even tho he is smart. We have taken all his privileges away from him. Having to keep the house on lock down so he can get his work done is getting difficult. I decided starting next week I am going to take him to the library to do his work. Just him and me. This looks to be a reasonable approach for several reasons. I think getting out of the house and away from easy distractions (TV, cat, dag, knocks at the door, sisters, etc.) Will help keep him focused. Having him one on one will also be helpful since I can manage him better than the wife and much better when it is just he and I. Really hoping this will at least get it to a manageable amount of time. Last night it took him over 4 hours. I sat at our kitchen bar all night to make sure his work got done and got nothing else accomplished.
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11-09-2014, 11:55 AM
RE: Homework issues
Sounds like a plan to me!

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11-09-2014, 05:05 PM
RE: Homework issues
(11-09-2014 08:58 AM)wazzel Wrote:  Well, Evan (my 11 yo son) is at it again. Starting the school year like the other two. Taking all night to do about 1 hour worth of home work, leaving assignments at school, rushing through test and making bad grades even tho he is smart.

I would see a psychologist. He may have ADD, although I am only speculating. But forgetting and losing things is a common trait.

(11-09-2014 08:58 AM)wazzel Wrote:  We have taken all his privileges away from him.

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO!
This is always ineffective. Sucking fun out of your child's life the second they start having issues could be too much. All you are doing is compiling extra stress. Know what it did to me? Depression. Suicidal thoughts. Know what helped me out of it? I got my fun back.

(11-09-2014 08:58 AM)wazzel Wrote:  Having to keep the house on lock down so he can get his work done is getting difficult. I decided starting next week I am going to take him to the library to do his work. Just him and me.

This may help. But if he has a learning disorder, you need to deal with that. "Hard work" doesn't cure that sort of thing.

(11-09-2014 08:58 AM)wazzel Wrote:  This looks to be a reasonable approach for several reasons. I think getting out of the house and away from easy distractions (TV, cat, dag, knocks at the door, sisters, etc.) Will help keep him focused. Having him one on one will also be helpful since I can manage him better than the wife and much better when it is just he and I. Really hoping this will at least get it to a manageable amount of time.

Someone with ADD can be distracted by anything, even their own internal thoughts. Again, it may reduce the issue, but you really should look into it.

(11-09-2014 08:58 AM)wazzel Wrote:  Last night it took him over 4 hours. I sat at our kitchen bar all night to make sure his work got done and got nothing else accomplished.

Can I ask, does your son have any sleep issues, is he generally lethargic, does he actually want to work? But really I don't need to hear the answers to these questions, you need to look for a possible diagnosis.
I am not making excuses for your son, but assuming he is purely lazy is highly ableist.
Just food for thought.

If somebody points out a fallacy, and you call fallacy fallacy, that doesn't mean you are right. That just means you committed the very fallacy you accused your opponent of.
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11-09-2014, 05:13 PM
RE: Homework issues
It very well could be a learning disorder. I would get him checked out if he's really struggling that hard.
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11-09-2014, 05:13 PM
RE: Homework issues
I think the library right after school is a good one. Just having one on one time with a calm parent can help speed things along too. (Some days hubby is better at this than I am- so who ever is better at keeping their cool that day is the best choice)

If that doesn't seem to work after you get the routine established, I would look into an evaluation, at the very least talk to his teachers and see if he is having the same issue in class.


He might be bored because he is working at a higher level, might be lost because he is falling behind on the details, or there might be something else going on, could be just needing more hands on parenting for a bit or things like ADHD.


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11-09-2014, 05:44 PM
RE: Homework issues
Ah the memories of homework...

Packing my bag on Monday morning, bus arrives in 10 minutes when I suddenly rememer... "Fuckin' 'ell, I've got an English essay to do!"

I don't understand homework...

No one likes it, no one benefits from it...

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11-09-2014, 06:14 PM
RE: Homework issues
Assuming it isn't a learning disorder, what needs to be checked is his motivation. When I was that age, I enjoyed getting good grades because of:
-the praise I would get from friends and my mom
-the sense of accomplishment of completing work to satisfaction
-and finally my mom made a grades for money system, where my report card at the end of the year could be evaluated for cash
----(something like 25 or bucks for the first A, then 25 extra for every additional A (So 3 As would be 25+50+75 = $150). I got no money for Bs, and if I got a D or below then I got no money at all. I personally love that type of system (and plan to do it some day), but I know some people have their issues with it.

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12-09-2014, 06:44 AM
RE: Homework issues
I'm in agreement with the 2 people that recommend having your kid evaluated.

We went through the exact same thing with my 15 y/o daughter a couple years ago. Not only was she forgetting to bring work home, but she wasn't completing anything. We did what you are planning to do and sat with her 1-on-1 to do the work, but she was still getting bad grades. So we snooped in her back pack and found most of her completed papers still in there.

Come to find out not only did she have a learning issue (ADD), but she was having issues with self-esteem and was afraid to turn in the work she was doing. Some meds, and a couple months with a therapist and she is right as rain.

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12-09-2014, 06:45 AM
RE: Homework issues
(11-09-2014 05:13 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  It very well could be a learning disorder. I would get him checked out if he's really struggling that hard.

He is an A-B student even with all the issues with homework. We would like to get him checked out, but since he is a good student, does not have behavior issues at school, etc. We are having a hard time getting the school to help out. Testing on our own is extremely expensive and not insurance covered.
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12-09-2014, 06:48 AM
RE: Homework issues
(11-09-2014 05:13 PM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  I think the library right after school is a good one. Just having one on one time with a calm parent can help speed things along too. (Some days hubby is better at this than I am- so who ever is better at keeping their cool that day is the best choice)

If that doesn't seem to work after you get the routine established, I would look into an evaluation, at the very least talk to his teachers and see if he is having the same issue in class.


He might be bored because he is working at a higher level, might be lost because he is falling behind on the details, or there might be something else going on, could be just needing more hands on parenting for a bit or things like ADHD.

We keep in touch with the teachers. They all say he is a great student and not a problem in class. He gets along with everyone else. Basically an all around good kid. Sometimes they notice him daydreaming, but in class they are able to redirect him easily to get back on task. That is one of the reason why I think getting him out of the house to do his homework will help.
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