Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
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16-03-2016, 10:04 PM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
(16-03-2016 01:26 PM)Agnostic Shane Wrote:  I think it may be wrong to label someone as homophobic just because they show some form of caution when directly involved in conversation or otherwise with a homosexual individual.
What do you think?

I think "homophobia" is a colloquial term and not a clinical term, denoting not an extreme or irrational fear of gay folks but rather an intense dislike, revulsion, or hatred of them. If I am right about this, then I think we're in agreement that attaching the suffix "-phobia" is incorrect.

Having said that, I will also say that exercising caution around someone simply because of something so irrelevant to your safety as their sexual preference may perhaps indicate the presence of (perhaps unwitting) bigotry or at the least an irrational dislike. Again, I don't know you and don't know that to be the case, but as someone who knows and loves scads of gay people of both genders, I've found nothing about gayness in and of itself which should recommend caution in dealing with them.

Now, using terms of endearment is, in the culture I grew up in and imbibed, a normal thing between opposite genders, and between women, but not men. And if a guy called me "dear", I might think he's gay, because it is indeed outside the cultural norm, but still I see nothing in that act which recommends "caution" as an appropriate response, which is why I wrote as I did in my preceding paragraph. If it makes me uncomfortable, I might ask him -- or her, if I'm in a committed relationship and it's a woman doing this -- to desist, or as I said earlier, I'd probably simply reduce their presence in my life so that they don't feel so comfortable calling me what I don't like.

Bottom line: I don't know if you're homophobic, but I think it's possible.
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16-03-2016, 10:21 PM (This post was last modified: 17-03-2016 09:43 AM by Thumpalumpacus.)
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
(16-03-2016 06:26 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Just curious you heathens.
Should I be cautious about bisexual people ?
Angel

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17-03-2016, 03:39 AM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
(16-03-2016 09:58 PM)Fireball Wrote:  I think Shane may be asking a question that would have better to have been asked in the Personal Issues thread. No?

This is a good point!
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17-03-2016, 05:49 AM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
I think Mr Shame wants to suck some cock.

My advice? Go for it.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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17-03-2016, 07:52 AM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
Hey again A-Shane. Smile

I must admit, basically only from personal experience, but I am honestly at a loss as to instantly knowing how some one I meet 'bats' in relation to which team they're playing with.

Really.. having friends and acquaintances of both genders and pretty much all persuasions... they all just seem like, y'know, 'Normal'... Consider

Or.. have I missed something within your wording of the question?
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17-03-2016, 08:12 AM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
(16-03-2016 06:26 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Just curious you heathens.
Should I be cautious about bisexual people ?
Angel

Back in the 70s when gay activism started gaining momentum in San Francisco, I had a bi friend. He wanted to join the activists but was rebuked and unwanted because "he was denying his true nature". Only if he professed to be 100% gay was he welcome.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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17-03-2016, 08:17 AM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
(17-03-2016 08:12 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(16-03-2016 06:26 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Just curious you heathens.
Should I be cautious about bisexual people ?
Angel

Back in the 70s when gay activism started gaining momentum in San Francisco, I had a bi friend. He wanted to join the activists but was rebuked and unwanted because "he was denying his true nature". Only if he professed to be 100% gay was he welcome.

I was in an orgy once..... Big Grin


Actually more than once. Wink

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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17-03-2016, 09:47 AM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
(16-03-2016 09:41 AM)Agnostic Shane Wrote:  Is being very cautious when approached by a homosexual person considered homophobic?

What the fuck does this mean? No body contact? No eye contact? Remain seated? Deepen your voice? Hawk and slag everywhere? Swear excessively? Talk about the number of chicks you bedded last weekend?

It sounds as though you're having an identity crisis Shane. Not on the turn are you sweetie?

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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17-03-2016, 09:56 AM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
This is an atheist forum, if you want to know if you're being "phobic" or prejudicial just put the gay shoe on the non-belief foot. Replace all references to "gay" or "homosexual" with references to "atheist" or "non-believer" instead. If your behavior or attitude towards a gay person would offend you if someone treated you the same way as an atheist then you're probably being a little bit homophobic.
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17-03-2016, 10:09 AM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
I dislike labeling things a "phobia" to easily. But in this case, citing a need to be "cautious" suggests an actual phobia. Why would you need to be cautious? Is there something special about a gay person approaching you (different from another individual) that makes you think that you should respond differently? It sounds like you are afraid of being hit on. Simple solution is just to say you are not interested if that is the case. How is that different from the opposite gendered person hitting on you?

Certainly if someone persistently flirts or hits on you inappropriately, that is cause to object and insist they cease doing so. But again, how is this special/different if the individual pestering you was gay? Are you fearing that this hypothetical gay person would not accept your rejection and rape/assault you? Yeah, that's a phobia.
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