Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
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19-03-2016, 03:29 PM (This post was last modified: 19-03-2016 03:33 PM by Agnostic Shane.)
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
(17-03-2016 10:09 AM)BryanS Wrote:  I dislike labeling things a "phobia" to easily. But in this case, citing a need to be "cautious" suggests an actual phobia. Why would you need to be cautious? Is there something special about a gay person approaching you (different from another individual) that makes you think that you should respond differently? It sounds like you are afraid of being hit on. Simple solution is just to say you are not interested if that is the case. How is that different from the opposite gendered person hitting on you?

Certainly if someone persistently flirts or hits on you inappropriately, that is cause to object and insist they cease doing so. But again, how is this special/different if the individual pestering you was gay? Are you fearing that this hypothetical gay person would not accept your rejection and rape/assault you? Yeah, that's a phobia.
Suggests an actual Phobia? Is there any way to know for sure?
Duly noted, btw.
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19-03-2016, 03:30 PM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
(17-03-2016 09:56 AM)Mr. Boston Wrote:  This is an atheist forum, if you want to know if you're being "phobic" or prejudicial just put the gay shoe on the non-belief foot. Replace all references to "gay" or "homosexual" with references to "atheist" or "non-believer" instead. If your behavior or attitude towards a gay person would offend you if someone treated you the same way as an atheist then you're probably being a little bit homophobic.
I would be bi in that situation.
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19-03-2016, 03:32 PM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
(17-03-2016 09:47 AM)SYZ Wrote:  
(16-03-2016 09:41 AM)Agnostic Shane Wrote:  Is being very cautious when approached by a homosexual person considered homophobic?

What the fuck does this mean? No body contact? No eye contact? Remain seated? Deepen your voice? Hawk and slag everywhere? Swear excessively? Talk about the number of chicks you bedded last weekend?

It sounds as though you're having an identity crisis Shane. Not on the turn are you sweetie?
I thought I established I had an identity issue since the "What am I?" thread.
I don't think i woukd be a very good skeptic if I didn't have identity issues. What do you think?
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19-03-2016, 03:42 PM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
(17-03-2016 07:52 AM)Peebothuhul Wrote:  Hey again A-Shane. Smile

I must admit, basically only from personal experience, but I am honestly at a loss as to instantly knowing how some one I meet 'bats' in relation to which team they're playing with.

Really.. having friends and acquaintances of both genders and pretty much all persuasions... they all just seem like, y'know, 'Normal'... Consider

Or.. have I missed something within your wording of the question?
I think considering the possibility that someone might be gay absent any reason for such a belief could be considered paranoia or wishful thinking dependent on your sexual orientation.
In this particular case there is reason the believe they might be gay.

I hardly see how asking them to desist from calling you honey, is being homo phobic.
If the possibility that they may be gay, and you dislike a gay person repeatedly calling you honey, is wrong then how is that being a jerk.
Is asking them to desist calling you honey being a jerk?
I think the jerk would be if the gay person continues to call you honey in spite of your polite request for them to desist. What do you think?
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19-03-2016, 03:43 PM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
(17-03-2016 05:49 AM)Banjo Wrote:  I think Mr Shame wants to suck some cock.

My advice? Go for it.

Duly noted.
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19-03-2016, 03:47 PM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
(16-03-2016 09:41 AM)Agnostic Shane Wrote:  My question is:
What do you understand by the word homophobic?

Is being very cautious when approached by a homosexual person considered homophobic?

Eg. If a known gay person continuously calls you "dear" "sweetie" or "honey" each time they negatively respond to you & you ask them to stop doing that is this being Homophobic. What if he wasn't gay, would you still be justified in asking them to desist?

I think it might be Homophobic but for a good cause. What do you think?

I think you are too homocurious.

#sigh
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19-03-2016, 03:51 PM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
(16-03-2016 10:04 PM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  
(16-03-2016 01:26 PM)Agnostic Shane Wrote:  I think it may be wrong to label someone as homophobic just because they show some form of caution when directly involved in conversation or otherwise with a homosexual individual.
What do you think?

I think "homophobia" is a colloquial term and not a clinical term, denoting not an extreme or irrational fear of gay folks but rather an intense dislike, revulsion, or hatred of them. If I am right about this, then I think we're in agreement that attaching the suffix "-phobia" is incorrect.

Having said that, I will also say that exercising caution around someone simply because of something so irrelevant to your safety as their sexual preference may perhaps indicate the presence of (perhaps unwitting) bigotry or at the least an irrational dislike. Again, I don't know you and don't know that to be the case, but as someone who knows and loves scads of gay people of both genders, I've found nothing about gayness in and of itself which should recommend caution in dealing with them.

Now, using terms of endearment is, in the culture I grew up in and imbibed, a normal thing between opposite genders, and between women, but not men. And if a guy called me "dear", I might think he's gay, because it is indeed outside the cultural norm, but still I see nothing in that act which recommends "caution" as an appropriate response, which is why I wrote as I did in my preceding paragraph. If it makes me uncomfortable, I might ask him -- or her, if I'm in a committed relationship and it's a woman doing this -- to desist, or as I said earlier, I'd probably simply reduce their presence in my life so that they don't feel so comfortable calling me what I don't like.

Bottom line: I don't know if you're homophobic, but I think it's possible.
It would appear some people think being cautious about gays makes you a jerk. I don't think you are one of them but if you are:
Is being homophobic in this regard being a jerk? Are you making assumptions about me based on the question?
How did you assume my caution was irrelevant? Do you know the life story of the person being cautious?
If your best friend's mom asked you to not talk about her deceased husband at the dinner table would you call her a jerk?
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19-03-2016, 03:54 PM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
(19-03-2016 03:47 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(16-03-2016 09:41 AM)Agnostic Shane Wrote:  My question is:
What do you understand by the word homophobic?

Is being very cautious when approached by a homosexual person considered homophobic?

Eg. If a known gay person continuously calls you "dear" "sweetie" or "honey" each time they negatively respond to you & you ask them to stop doing that is this being Homophobic. What if he wasn't gay, would you still be justified in asking them to desist?

I think it might be Homophobic but for a good cause. What do you think?

I think you are too homocurious.
I think i am curious about many things actually. My sexual preference isn't one of the questions at the top of my list though,
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19-03-2016, 03:56 PM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
(17-03-2016 03:39 AM)carol Wrote:  
(16-03-2016 09:58 PM)Fireball Wrote:  I think Shane may be asking a question that would have better to have been asked in the Personal Issues thread. No?

This is a good point!
It would appear every question I ask is assumed to be worth placing in the personal issues thread regardless if I gave a reason why I asked the question.
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19-03-2016, 04:05 PM
RE: Homophobic or Homo-Cautious
(19-03-2016 03:54 PM)Agnostic Shane Wrote:  
(19-03-2016 03:47 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  I think you are too homocurious.
I think i am curious about many things actually. My sexual preference isn't one of the questions at the top of my list though,

Girly took in a 15 yo Nigerian American in the 'hood when his mother kicked him out when she found gay porn on his computer. Dude has since gone to be a a successful physical therapist and Baltimore Ravens cheerleader. When he greets me he grabs my package. I tell him, "Dude, ass grabs only. We already talked about this."

#sigh
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