Hospice vs scripture
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06-01-2014, 11:00 AM
Hospice vs scripture
I noted in this thread that a family friend is currently dying of cancer. She is beyond the reach of traditional medicine now; surgery and chemo are no longer an option. All she wants to do now is die at home because she absolutely loathes the rest home she is currently staying in. The only problem is that her family doesn't want her to get hospice. I went to visit the friend (most likely for the last time) last week. She told me this is because her super religious family "believe[s] in scripture and eating right." The friend is super religious herself, but I know that she has realized, after a great deal of praying, that faith is not going to save her. This is why I stressed that making the hospice decision was hers and hers alone. I also alleviated her fears that hospice "put people to sleep." I'm not sure if this was a line of crap fed to her by her family. I described the phenomenal job that hospice had done for my grandfather when he passed away in late 2012. I'm happy to say that she is now talking to hospice. I'm going to keep track of the situation just in case her family tries to intervene.

While learning about her family's objection to hospice royally pissed me off, I'm glad that she is not letting her faith drag her done the wrong (and extremely painful) path. I'm also glad that my family hasn't let faith blind them either. For instance, my grandmother, who is constantly quoting the bible, was upset when she learned why the family didn't want hospice. This is because my grandmother has survived breast cancer twice. My mom and my sister, who are moderately religious, both independently said the same thing: "There is religious and then there is stupid."
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06-01-2014, 11:16 AM
RE: Hospice vs scripture
My granddad died in a hospice too. They did everything they could to make him comfortable.

They do wonderful work for people in truly hopeless situations.

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06-01-2014, 12:12 PM
RE: Hospice vs scripture
Yes , definitely keep her on the track with Hospice. My wife is currently being helped by Hospice, as am I (as a caregiver).

They do everything they can to make people comfortable with dignity at EOL. I cant say enough good about these folks.
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06-01-2014, 12:20 PM
RE: Hospice vs scripture
I am sorry about your friend GE (and also about your wife WH). Hospice is such a great program and the people that do that type of work are simply amazing.

May your loved ones have comfort and dignity in their final days.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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06-01-2014, 12:51 PM
RE: Hospice vs scripture
Hospice is a wonderful thing for people who want the dignity and comfort of dying in their own home. A hospital setting is just not ideal for most people facing the end of their lives. I've never heard of a religious objection to hospice and this seems completely irrational to me. I've helped hundreds of super religious families after their loved ones have passed under hospice care.

The downside to this is that hospice care typically requires family to look after the person for the most part as the hospice staff aren't present at all times. If her family is unwilling to do this, it could be difficult for her to utilize their services. Of course, 99% of people in nursing homes who are considered terminal are also under hospice care. Nursing homes employ hospice nurses as well.

I hope her family comes to terms with this. It sounds like they don't want the responsibility of helping care for her or the distress of watching her die. My thoughts are with you both. *hugs*

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who has said it- not even if I have said it- unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. - Buddha
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06-01-2014, 01:00 PM
RE: Hospice vs scripture
There are places to go when family won't take on the hospice patient. These are private places, and they cost money but they are nice - private, cheerful rooms and round the clock attention and company.

My husband chose to die at home and I had a heck of a time to get him out of the hospital, they wanted him to stay there. It really pissed the both of us off. We lost an entire week to fighting over it with the hospital.

We finally got him home, and he never did get hospice - but he also got lucky and was fine with just medical marihuana,(the sublingual drops) and didn't need stronger drugs.

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06-01-2014, 01:35 PM
RE: Hospice vs scripture
I watched my grandfather slowly and painfully die from a inoperable braintumer whilest begging to have his life ended over several months.

Hospices are ok, but I think people who are suffering from a desease that will end their life should have the option to end their life.

I will certainly end mine should I ever get inoperable cancer.

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06-01-2014, 01:38 PM
RE: Hospice vs scripture
My parents both died as they wished - at home under hospice care. The nurses were exceptionally wonderful, caring people.

May your friend have the same level of care.

We have enough youth. How about looking for the Fountain of Smart?
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06-01-2014, 03:33 PM
RE: Hospice vs scripture
(06-01-2014 01:35 PM)The Germans are coming Wrote:  I will certainly end mine should I ever get inoperable cancer.

The problem with this is the method. Inoperable cancer helps, you're already in pain so more pain isn't too hard. Of course if you have the money and access, a gun probably works well.

I agree people should have the right to die. I don't even limit that to those dying of terminal disease, since we're all dying anyway.
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06-01-2014, 04:28 PM
RE: Hospice vs scripture
I work in a hospice - do their pharmaceuticals as a haem-oncologist !

Definitely the best place to be when palliative care is necessary in , no question about it.
Better than hospital, nursing home or home in most cases.

Much more 1:1 care attention than dying in a hospital.
Facilities and care far superior to being at home or nursing-home.
(obviously this may vary from place to place but where I work it is definitely the best environment for palliative care needs.)

A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence -
David Hume


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