How Do I Respond to This?
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23-08-2017, 04:03 PM
How Do I Respond to This?
Long story short, my wife just found out that I'm an atheist a few days ago and immediately told my parents. I didn't know any of this until I got this message. I'm not sure where to go from here.


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Do not fear death; fear an empty legacy. --An alcoholic I met in a bar one time
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23-08-2017, 04:09 PM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
(23-08-2017 04:03 PM)Dozerman Wrote:  Long story short, my wife just found out that I'm an atheist a few days ago and immediately told my parents. I didn't know any of this until I got this message. I'm not sure where to go from here.

Just hold your ground until they wear themselves out and habituate to the new information. Stay your usual self of course.
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23-08-2017, 04:13 PM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
Let your Mom send you as Bible verses as she wants? That's what I'd do anyway. ... Wait, are those text messages and do they still cost money like they used to? Because that would change the equation.

#sigh
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23-08-2017, 04:16 PM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
Oh Yikes! I have told my husband and grown child but they both know better than to break my elderly father's heart.

Any possibility they would accept something like "I think it would be best for everyone to just agree to respect each other's beliefs and agree to not try to change each other, don't you?"

The spouse going behind my back would be a mighty hard one. I feel for you.

Hopefully someone here who has navigated those waters will have some good advice for you.

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
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23-08-2017, 04:18 PM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
Tell 'em you've seen the light of Allah Dodgy

More realistically, IMO generally parents have great *fear* when this kinda thing happens. It's a pity your wife blew your cover, but the conversation would have to happen eventually. When I told my parents, in the end I managed to convince them that I was still the same guy. My Mama even updated her theology to include the belief that God couldn't possibly be such a nitwit as to leave her sonny boy outta the heaven deal just because he didn't believe.

Your mileage may vary, but I think the important thing to emphasize to them is that you still love them, and possibly lay any fears they may have to rest, such as the fear that you're gonna go off a-rampaging and murdering people - my Mama literally asked me "so why aren't you off killing people then?" The mind boggles.

One thing I'd avoid is getting into *why* you're an atheist in too much detail. Most awkward conversation of my life was when my Mama tried to re-convert me and I had to explain why her total gotcha argument points were fallacious. If you do get into theological discussions, try to be gentle.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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23-08-2017, 04:19 PM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
Girly? That looks like Facebook Messenger and it's for free.

Dozerman: She loves you and wants to say things to you that she considers nice and caring. Let her, smiles, say thanks. Unless she starts preaching, just let her do it. If she starts to actively bring you back into the religion, just kindly but firmly insist that this is not what you want to do. She loves you and from the texts it does not look like she is being hostile. Just be kind to her and love her back.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
- Wotsefack?! -
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23-08-2017, 04:44 PM (This post was last modified: 23-08-2017 05:41 PM by Anjele.)
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
(23-08-2017 04:03 PM)Dozerman Wrote:  Long story short, my wife just found out that I'm an atheist a few days ago and immediately told my parents. I didn't know any of this until I got this message. I'm not sure where to go from here.

Your wife told your mother on you?

Wow...somehow I think there are bigger issues at play than you being an atheist.

Good luck with all your family issues.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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23-08-2017, 05:33 PM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
Tell your wife's dad that she farts a lot after drinking cheap beer....


That'll teach her to narc you out...


Tongue

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The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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23-08-2017, 05:37 PM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
Decide for YOURSELF. You are in charge of you.
If you don't want to discuss the matter with them, tell them you are an adult, the subject is off-limits and you expect them all to respect your wishes in the matter.
Subject closed. Period. The end.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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23-08-2017, 06:26 PM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
Welcome your mom to think whatever thoughts and say whatever prayers make her happy. Ask her if she could restrict her biblical verses to email with a particular subject line and assure her you'll read them when "time allows." Maybe if she has an outlet to evangelize to you, it will make her feel secure and comfortable and she won't feel compelled to escalate the matter.

...And do what online biker said. That's good advice right there.
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