How Do I Respond to This?
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23-08-2017, 06:34 PM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
I think you need to be honest with your folks and let the chips fall where they may, UNLESS your folks are just really absurdly old and are about to find out the truth for themselves. No need to anguish them with doubt at that point.

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23-08-2017, 06:34 PM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
Just curious......how did your wife "find out" anyway?

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
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26-08-2017, 06:28 PM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
(23-08-2017 04:44 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(23-08-2017 04:03 PM)Dozerman Wrote:  Long story short, my wife just found out that I'm an atheist a few days ago and immediately told my parents. I didn't know any of this until I got this message. I'm not sure where to go from here.

Your wife told your mother on you?

Wow...somehow I think there are bigger issues at play than you being an atheist.


She later told me that when she found out that she felt that she was going to become a single mother and needed someone to confide in. That was her explanation, anyways.

Do not fear death; fear an empty legacy. --An alcoholic I met in a bar one time
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26-08-2017, 06:32 PM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
(23-08-2017 06:34 PM)outtathereligioncloset Wrote:  Just curious......how did your wife "find out" anyway?

I've been away from home for awhile now and was going through my own personal hell (I might reach out about this at a later time in a different thread) and had almost completely stopped communicating with her. She thought I might be cheating on her and started pilfering through whatever she could get her hands on and one of those things was my google search archive. Turns out, a zip archive of everything you've googled for the last decade can be pretty detrimental if you have absolutely anything to hide.

Do not fear death; fear an empty legacy. --An alcoholic I met in a bar one time
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26-08-2017, 06:35 PM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
(23-08-2017 05:37 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Decide for YOURSELF. You are in charge of you.
If you don't want to discuss the matter with them, tell them you are an adult, the subject is off-limits and you expect them all to respect your wishes in the matter.
Subject closed. Period. The end.

I wasn't asking anyone to write my conversation for me. I just know that there have been plenty of people in this situation before and wanted to see what they had to say before I responded.

Do not fear death; fear an empty legacy. --An alcoholic I met in a bar one time
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26-08-2017, 06:57 PM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
I have seen a lot of families get angry when they find out a member doesn't share the same belief. It looks like your family really loves you, cares about you and has concern. That's a nice thing and good to see. Heart
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26-08-2017, 07:57 PM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
(26-08-2017 06:57 PM)LadyJane Wrote:  I have seen a lot of families get angry when they find out a member doesn't share the same belief. It looks like your family really loves you, cares about you and has concern. That's a nice thing and good to see. Heart

I'll agree. It could be so much worse.

Do not fear death; fear an empty legacy. --An alcoholic I met in a bar one time
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26-08-2017, 08:19 PM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
Fuck... if that happened to me I'd have a bullet in my brain. Only reason I'm still alive is I play things as ambiguous as I can. I like science so that automatically makes me an Atheist in my families minds but since I never confirm it I just get harassed, that is whenever they are willing to talk with me to begin with.

Idk, the only thing I can say is your wife clearly needs you. I'm not sure if this is going to become a deal breaker for her, but it doesn't sound like she was thinking of leaving you, it sounds like she was terrified of you leaving her. As someone who's been divorced the only advice I have (and this is my personal opinion). Go get back with your fucking family dude they fucking need you. They might end up leaving you anyway but fuck, idk I don't want to see you or anyone get divorced if it can be avoided. It doesn't sound like you were cheating on her from what you've said so seriously.

I'm not trying to be an ass, and hell I could be wrong. Clearly I'm biased because of my former marriage but that's what I think. If you aren't there for her then there's no path forward so worrying about their reaction to your non belief is kinda pointless ya? It's already over at that point.

As for parents... well fuck parents... but then mine are abusive fucks so... (biased) Just care for and be there for the people you care about and whatever is going to happen will.

And if you need help with other personal nightmares, feel free to PM me. I'm down to chat. I'm sure many others here would be too.

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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26-08-2017, 10:34 PM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
I cannot imagine your problem. Literally, I can't imagine it.

Good luck. Smile

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27-08-2017, 12:18 AM
RE: How Do I Respond to This?
You could create an e-mail filter that identifies messages with key words like "Jesus" in them. and quarantines them in a folder for later perusal or deletion. Short of blocking a sender, IMO the best response to unwanted messages is silence -- not responding, not arguing, just silence.

I'm sorry, but your beliefs are much too silly to take seriously. Got anything else we can discuss?
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