How Free Thinking Was the Best Counseling I Could Get
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28-07-2017, 05:07 AM
How Free Thinking Was the Best Counseling I Could Get
TO the point, that I don't think I've mentioned much on here, is that I used to be afraid of a lot of things. Not just Hell fire, but becoming something of a 'monster' in the eyes of society. You see, when growing up my parents, while they tried everything to make me a better person, instilled the fear of people, laws, morals, and becoming a 'criminal' in my mind.

I can always remember the sleepless nights of there I could plan out a killing in my head. But pray to God that it wouldn't happen, that I was stronger than it.

It sounds stupid, but given at the time I was the ages of 5 through 12. Already feeling like the world was out to get me. It's silly to think about now that I allowed these fears to run me, and my mom would only tell me to pray or yell at me for having such thoughts.
Then again, look at how the God of the Bible kills without thought or remorse. Wonder where I got the idea from?

It wasn't until last night that I thought back on these, and realized how letting go of my religion made me get over plenty of fears that dictated how I did things. I let go of the fear that God was watching, and let go of the anger I held because my prays were unanswered. And found that what makes a person do horrible acts and what keeps me from it is the moral I had all along that doing horrible acts is wrong by any society means.

I didn't need God to have morals, and I didn't need God to chase away fears. Slowly but surely the panic attacks I had about Hellfire left me. And I've finally been able to move on from it all. It's not all gone, there are still some nights where the childish fear of burning forever still exists.

However, with the free thinking ideas I have, moving on from them has been a slow processes. But it's possible the best feeling I've had in a long time. To be able to sleep without the nightmares and worry that I'm being judged for every little thing I can't control (One example being dreams and thoughts.)

"Governments don't want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking That is against their interests.
They want obedient workers people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork And just dumb enough to passively accept it."

- George Carlin
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