How can I make my husband happy with our marriage?
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25-07-2011, 09:06 PM
 
How can I make my husband happy with our marriage?
My husband says that I have to be the one to make him happy with our marriage to make him a happier person. But how do I do that ? When I feel that to be happy with something or someone you have to be happy with yourself first. I just don't understand. Please help!
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25-07-2011, 10:18 PM
RE: How can I make my husband happy with our marriage?
Go to the kitchen and make an sandwich.

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“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.” ~ Gautama Buddha
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25-07-2011, 10:36 PM
RE: How can I make my husband happy with our marriage?




Please refer to 2:18-2:34 for your answer. Then watch the rest of the video for additional insight.

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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25-07-2011, 11:51 PM
 
RE: How can I make my husband happy with our marriage?
It's hard to give a very helpful answer to that question, especially with just two sentences about the predicament. Plus I'm not a psychologist, and neither are most of our members unless I'm very mistaken. A forum for discussing atheism isn't the best place to ask that question, I'd try one dedicated to psychology or marital/relationship issues instead.

All I can give you is my opinion(and in this situation it's worth next to nothing), which is that a relationship is about two people sharing a part of their lives and enjoying each other; it is not one person's job to just make the other happy. The attitude that (based on one sentence) your husband seems to have towards the marriage is selfish and destructive. I'm not trying to say anything about your husband since I know nothing about him; even that one sentence could be meant a number of different ways. But I don't think approaching any relationship in the way you've described will produce much happiness, if any.
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26-07-2011, 04:25 AM
RE: How can I make my husband happy with our marriage?
What is he trying to make you do that he's saying this? Usually this is said when a guy wants something specific. Obviously his claim is baseless because there's no reason to have you be unhappy. Some things are acceptable to do, as occasionally they will want something slight and it will make life with them much easier. It is important to realize that you won't be happy if he isn't, but making him happy needs to be able to benefit you as well. If you could explain things in more detail then I could give you an actual answer.

If this is about religion the two of you are already married you don't need to worry at all about changing the views you have in this case. If you've lost the faith you both used to share, then just emphasize that there are many other ways you make him happy.

Women throughout the ages have never backed down to every threat (as a general rule). Even when misogyny was a common practice there were many things women demanded of their men.

I'm not a non believer, I believe in the possibility of anything. I just don't let the actuality of something be determined by a 3rd party.
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26-07-2011, 08:22 AM
RE: How can I make my husband happy with our marriage?
Important things to know:
How long have you been married?
Are you - have you ever been - mutually in love?
Are you sexually compatible?
Do you have general agreement on children, money and work sharing?
Do you get along with each other's family and friends?

Without any specifics, all i can tell you is: Don't be a doormat. Some men think they would be happy if only they got their own way all the time, but actually, getting their own way often makes them less happy and sometimes the frustration makes them abusive.
No challenge - no growth.
A healthy, mature man seeks to make his mate happy. That gives him a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. If he loves you, the best way to make him happy is to be happy yourself.

If you pray to anything, you're prey to anything.
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26-07-2011, 09:23 AM
RE: How can I make my husband happy with our marriage?
That is bullshit. It is not my wife's sole job to make me happy nor my sole job to make her happy. We just do it. You look out for one another and talk and bicker and fight and have sexual relations. The job of making the other happy is bullshit. If they aren't happy being with you then something is wrong.

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
—Thomas Henry Huxley
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26-07-2011, 11:47 AM
RE: How can I make my husband happy with our marriage?
(25-07-2011 09:06 PM)Francesco Lang Wrote:  My husband says that I have to be the one to make him happy with our marriage to make him a happier person. But how do I do that ? When I feel that to be happy with something or someone you have to be happy with yourself first. I just don't understand. Please help!

Sure, as long as he knows that it's his job to make you happy... Smile

English is not my first language. If you think I am being mean, ask me. It could be just a wording problem.
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26-07-2011, 09:06 PM (This post was last modified: 26-07-2011 09:14 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: How can I make my husband happy with our marriage?
(25-07-2011 09:06 PM)Francesco Lang Wrote:  My husband says that I have to be the one to make him happy with our marriage to make him a happier person.

You're not married to a man, you're married to a boy. ... or a prick.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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27-07-2011, 12:35 AM
RE: How can I make my husband happy with our marriage?
(Maybe I'm becoming just too paranoid but... I think this was intended spam, but then something failed on the link.:dodgySmile

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Agnostic atheist
Secular humanist
Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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