How can I resist the urge to be a dick?
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12-01-2017, 10:35 PM
RE: How can I resist the urge to be a dick?
(12-01-2017 09:13 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(12-01-2017 08:55 PM)KUSA Wrote:  So I go see a shrink for being a dick? How do I explain that on the paperwork?

ICD-10-CM Diagnosis Code N48.9

Laugh out load You're a bad boy, girly.
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12-01-2017, 10:47 PM (This post was last modified: 12-01-2017 10:54 PM by DLJ.)
RE: How can I resist the urge to be a dick?
(12-01-2017 09:14 PM)yakherder Wrote:  
(12-01-2017 08:55 PM)KUSA Wrote:  So I go see a shrink for being a dick? How do I explain that on the paperwork?

Draw a picture.

Don't worry, the shrink will have a picture. Something like this...

[Image: transa6.jpg]

@KUSA

It's about stimulus-response and control mechanisms.

So you were at school and you accidentally tripped someone and everyone around laughed... not at you but at the other kid sprawling in the dirt. You felt good.

That perfect one-liner popped into your head in maths class ... everybody laughed (even the teacher). It felt good.

You pulled her pigtails ... repeatedly ... until she snapped at you ... her response made you feel good.

You read about Oscar Wilde and how much he was lauded for his caustic wit. Or Twain or Hitchens. Consider No, not "or", "and".

Everywhere there was reinforcement that being a dick gained rewards... on the comedy stage, US sitcoms, amongst your friends. It's even the basis of New York culture, most sporting grounds and Aussie culture too (see 'sledging').

Then there were the moments when your girlfriend said "I know you think you're being clever, but you really upset <insert name of girlfriend's best friend>... not everyone is as smart as you!"

Then there was that one time at the end of that team-building activity when the winning team - those two guys from accounts and your best friend, y'know the one, the girl who was born with only one arm - went to get their prize and you said "I love that girl so much, I bet she could have beaten everyone else single-handed". That was genius. Why didn't the politically-correct arseholes at your table laugh at that? What's wrong with them?

And that took some of the pleasure away. You question whether it's as much fun when it's only your internal audience who appreciates the genius of your subtle, multi-layered quadruple entendres.

You have spent decades honing your stimulus-response mechanism to get the maximum dopamine hit. But you've paid less attention to your control mechanism.

You're addicted.

Like with any addiction you have to want to stop and key to this is re-configuring your in-mind self-model (your simulation of self) to be a non-smoker / non-drinker / non-gambler etc. In this case ... non-dick.

You know you can do it because of that time when you were comforting a member of staff and that perfect, I mean really perfect, joke entered your head and you stopped yourself because you knew it was going to make things worse ... and you would have had to deal with the fallout.

This year, I've only had maybe four meals. In the last few days I've stopped using my one remaining source of caffeine. I look in the fridge but no, I don't eat... I'm a non-eater. I want that pepsi so much, my head aches with the withdrawal, but no, I don't do coke ... I'm a non-pepsi-drinker.

Re-configuring your mind involves believing that you are that non-drinker etc. Practice in front of the mirror... a slight shake of the head ... one hand up, palm outwards ... say:
"No thanks, I don't smoke" or
"No thanks, I don't drink" or in this case ...
"No thanks, I don't hurt"

Your internal audience got the joke. They said, well done, we heard what you didn't say, we saw what you didn't do and it was still genius. Bravo!

Your reward will be from the feeling of superiority ... from mastery of yourself ... there's dopamine there too.

Good luck.

Thumbsup

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12-01-2017, 11:48 PM
RE: How can I resist the urge to be a dick?
(12-01-2017 07:56 PM)KUSA Wrote:  
(12-01-2017 07:52 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  I think you just don't have enough fun. You know, kinda like Chas.
I don't have enough fun. I work too damned much.

What does Chas do?

Huh

How did I get dragged into this? Blink

Actually, what are you wondering?
What I do for work?
What I do for fun?
What I do to not be a dick?
What do I do about being a dick?
Some of the above?
All of the above?
None the above?
Consider

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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13-01-2017, 12:39 AM
RE: How can I resist the urge to be a dick?
(12-01-2017 06:59 PM)KUSA Wrote:  How can I resist the urge to be a dick?

As hard as I try, I give in to my desires to act like a dick. Now you may think this is a joke but I am not joking.

It just feels satisfying to act like a dick. It's almost entertaining. I have to resist and fight the urge everyday.

Is anyone here a recovered dick? How did you overcome?

Mate seriously, suck it, don't suck it.

It's your business. Not mine.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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13-01-2017, 03:55 AM
RE: How can I resist the urge to be a dick?
I'm sometimes a dick, or at least my humour can be, I try to not be deliberately hurtful to those who are not being dickish instead channeling my dickishness towards trolls and other dicks. Occasionally I get it wrong but always apologise if I've been inadvertently dickish to a non dick.
Try channeling dickishness toward other dicks and trolls. You have Imo made significant progress certainly on here, you now have positive rep instead of negative and quite often you are as funny as heck. Smile
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13-01-2017, 04:49 AM
RE: How can I resist the urge to be a dick?
The answer is simply, be whoever you want and try not worrying about it too much.
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13-01-2017, 05:43 AM
How can I resist the urge to be a dick?
(12-01-2017 10:47 PM)DLJ Wrote:  
(12-01-2017 09:14 PM)yakherder Wrote:  Draw a picture.

Don't worry, the shrink will have a picture. Something like this...

[Image: transa6.jpg]

@KUSA

It's about stimulus-response and control mechanisms.

So you were at school and you accidentally tripped someone and everyone around laughed... not at you but at the other kid sprawling in the dirt. You felt good.

That perfect one-liner popped into your head in maths class ... everybody laughed (even the teacher). It felt good.

You pulled her pigtails ... repeatedly ... until she snapped at you ... her response made you feel good.

You read about Oscar Wilde and how much he was lauded for his caustic wit. Or Twain or Hitchens. Consider No, not "or", "and".

Everywhere there was reinforcement that being a dick gained rewards... on the comedy stage, US sitcoms, amongst your friends. It's even the basis of New York culture, most sporting grounds and Aussie culture too (see 'sledging').

Then there were the moments when your girlfriend said "I know you think you're being clever, but you really upset <insert name of girlfriend's best friend>... not everyone is as smart as you!"

Then there was that one time at the end of that team-building activity when the winning team - those two guys from accounts and your best friend, y'know the one, the girl who was born with only one arm - went to get their prize and you said "I love that girl so much, I bet she could have beaten everyone else single-handed". That was genius. Why didn't the politically-correct arseholes at your table laugh at that? What's wrong with them?

And that took some of the pleasure away. You question whether it's as much fun when it's only your internal audience who appreciates the genius of your subtle, multi-layered quadruple entendres.

You have spent decades honing your stimulus-response mechanism to get the maximum dopamine hit. But you've paid less attention to your control mechanism.

You're addicted.

Like with any addiction you have to want to stop and key to this is re-configuring your in-mind self-model (your simulation of self) to be a non-smoker / non-drinker / non-gambler etc. In this case ... non-dick.

You know you can do it because of that time when you were comforting a member of staff and that perfect, I mean really perfect, joke entered your head and you stopped yourself because you knew it was going to make things worse ... and you would have had to deal with the fallout.

This year, I've only had maybe four meals. In the last few days I've stopped using my one remaining source of caffeine. I look in the fridge but no, I don't eat... I'm a non-eater. I want that pepsi so much, my head aches with the withdrawal, but no, I don't do coke ... I'm a non-pepsi-drinker.

Re-configuring your mind involves believing that you are that non-drinker etc. Practice in front of the mirror... a slight shake of the head ... one hand up, palm outwards ... say:
"No thanks, I don't smoke" or
"No thanks, I don't drink" or in this case ...
"No thanks, I don't hurt"

Your internal audience got the joke. They said, well done, we heard what you didn't say, we saw what you didn't do and it was still genius. Bravo!

Your reward will be from the feeling of superiority ... from mastery of yourself ... there's dopamine there too.

Good luck.

Thumbsup


That was a damned good reply!
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13-01-2017, 05:52 AM
RE: How can I resist the urge to be a dick?
(13-01-2017 05:43 AM)KUSA Wrote:  
(12-01-2017 10:47 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Don't worry, the shrink will have a picture. Something like this...

[Image: transa6.jpg]

@KUSA

It's about stimulus-response and control mechanisms.

So you were at school and you accidentally tripped someone and everyone around laughed... not at you but at the other kid sprawling in the dirt. You felt good.

That perfect one-liner popped into your head in maths class ... everybody laughed (even the teacher). It felt good.

You pulled her pigtails ... repeatedly ... until she snapped at you ... her response made you feel good.

You read about Oscar Wilde and how much he was lauded for his caustic wit. Or Twain or Hitchens. Consider No, not "or", "and".

Everywhere there was reinforcement that being a dick gained rewards... on the comedy stage, US sitcoms, amongst your friends. It's even the basis of New York culture, most sporting grounds and Aussie culture too (see 'sledging').

Then there were the moments when your girlfriend said "I know you think you're being clever, but you really upset <insert name of girlfriend's best friend>... not everyone is as smart as you!"

Then there was that one time at the end of that team-building activity when the winning team - those two guys from accounts and your best friend, y'know the one, the girl who was born with only one arm - went to get their prize and you said "I love that girl so much, I bet she could have beaten everyone else single-handed". That was genius. Why didn't the politically-correct arseholes at your table laugh at that? What's wrong with them?

And that took some of the pleasure away. You question whether it's as much fun when it's only your internal audience who appreciates the genius of your subtle, multi-layered quadruple entendres.

You have spent decades honing your stimulus-response mechanism to get the maximum dopamine hit. But you've paid less attention to your control mechanism.

You're addicted.

Like with any addiction you have to want to stop and key to this is re-configuring your in-mind self-model (your simulation of self) to be a non-smoker / non-drinker / non-gambler etc. In this case ... non-dick.

You know you can do it because of that time when you were comforting a member of staff and that perfect, I mean really perfect, joke entered your head and you stopped yourself because you knew it was going to make things worse ... and you would have had to deal with the fallout.

This year, I've only had maybe four meals. In the last few days I've stopped using my one remaining source of caffeine. I look in the fridge but no, I don't eat... I'm a non-eater. I want that pepsi so much, my head aches with the withdrawal, but no, I don't do coke ... I'm a non-pepsi-drinker.

Re-configuring your mind involves believing that you are that non-drinker etc. Practice in front of the mirror... a slight shake of the head ... one hand up, palm outwards ... say:
"No thanks, I don't smoke" or
"No thanks, I don't drink" or in this case ...
"No thanks, I don't hurt"

Your internal audience got the joke. They said, well done, we heard what you didn't say, we saw what you didn't do and it was still genius. Bravo!

Your reward will be from the feeling of superiority ... from mastery of yourself ... there's dopamine there too.

Good luck.

Thumbsup


That was a damned good reply!

It's a gift.

Smartass

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13-01-2017, 06:08 AM
How can I resist the urge to be a dick?
(12-01-2017 09:13 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(12-01-2017 08:55 PM)KUSA Wrote:  So I go see a shrink for being a dick? How do I explain that on the paperwork?

ICD-10-CM Diagnosis Code N48.9

I don't see that one.
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13-01-2017, 06:36 AM
RE: How can I resist the urge to be a dick?
It's called artistic license son....


heh

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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