How did I not know I felt this/how do I fix it...
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04-04-2015, 06:52 AM
RE: How did I not know I felt this/how do I fix it...
Put all the clutter in labeled boxes.

Move furniture away from walls and cover.

Get a paint chip booklet from your hardware store and pick out paint color/s. Paint. Should be cheap.

Move furniture back. Go through all the possible positions, use a tape measure. Make sure it's not the way it was before.

Go through your boxes and pick what you want to keep and where to keep it.

Voila. And you'll be surprised how your whole life feels like you got a new start. Use that feeling and move forward and onward with your life.

This is quite therapeutic. Give it a shot.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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04-04-2015, 03:52 PM
RE: How did I not know I felt this/how do I fix it...
(04-04-2015 01:49 AM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park and it became something of a sport to me.

For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate.

Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking chit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go.

After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that.

Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you.

use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet.

You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust.

Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle.

Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences.

I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city.

Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I'm so glad I'm female. Men are so.......I donno......odd.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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04-04-2015, 04:03 PM
RE: How did I not know I felt this/how do I fix it...
(04-04-2015 03:52 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(04-04-2015 01:49 AM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park and it became something of a sport to me.

For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate.

Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking chit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go.

After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that.

Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you.

use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet.

You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust.

Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle.

Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences.

I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city.

Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I'm so glad I'm female. Men are so.......I donno......odd.

I resent that you associate me with this tripe because of my gender. This is not representative of "men" in general.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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04-04-2015, 04:15 PM
RE: How did I not know I felt this/how do I fix it...
(04-04-2015 01:49 AM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park and it became something of a sport to me.

For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate.

Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking chit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go.

After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that.

Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you.

use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet.

You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust.

Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle.

Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences.

I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city.

Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds.

Sorry dude, but I've read worse and more far more disturbing erotic fan fics on the net; you're not trying hard enough. Still, next time you feel the need to write about birds and your pingas, do it in the 18 + thread, please.

[Image: 20cad83ad8d757191e2878b0f4bf05a9.png]
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04-04-2015, 04:19 PM
RE: How did I not know I felt this/how do I fix it...
(04-04-2015 01:49 AM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park and it became something of a sport to me.

For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate.

Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking chit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go.

After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that.

Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you.

use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet.

You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust.

Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle.

Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences.

I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city.

Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds.

[Image: 07_cool_story_bro.jpeg]

(31-07-2014 04:37 PM)Luminon Wrote:  America is full of guns, but they're useless, because nobody has the courage to shoot an IRS agent in self-defense
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04-04-2015, 05:02 PM
RE: How did I not know I felt this/how do I fix it...
(04-04-2015 06:52 AM)Dom Wrote:  Put all the clutter in labeled boxes.

Move furniture away from walls and cover.

Get a paint chip booklet from your hardware store and pick out paint color/s. Paint. Should be cheap.

Move furniture back. Go through all the possible positions, use a tape measure. Make sure it's not the way it was before.

Go through your boxes and pick what you want to keep and where to keep it.

Voila. And you'll be surprised how your whole life feels like you got a new start. Use that feeling and move forward and onward with your life.

This is quite therapeutic. Give it a shot.

This is a great ideaYes

I'd add - before putting anything back on the walls, consider them carefully. Decide whether or not they still match what you want in your room. Maybe even pick out a couple of new posters or peices of art that you absolutely love.
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05-04-2015, 03:43 PM
RE: How did I not know I felt this/how do I fix it...
(04-04-2015 01:49 AM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of.....

Don't lie, you view it as one of your defining lifetime achievements.

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05-04-2015, 05:27 PM
RE: How did I not know I felt this/how do I fix it...
OP~I can absolutely relate to how you feel, I have a whole apartment I feel this way about. I have a hard time coming up with the gumption to do anything about it, I feel overwhelmed. The good advice you received is great, might try that myself, one room at a time. Good luck! I think you might be able to look at ideas on the internet too, for designing a room etc, although I have not done this myself.
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05-04-2015, 06:22 PM
RE: How did I not know I felt this/how do I fix it...
(04-04-2015 04:03 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  
(04-04-2015 03:52 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I'm so glad I'm female. Men are so.......I donno......odd.

I resent that you associate me with this tripe because of my gender. This is not representative of "men" in general.

Glad to know this. I should restate it. SOME men are odd.




Some women are strange too, so there's that.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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