How do I deal with shame and guilt?
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29-07-2012, 11:39 AM
RE: How do I deal with shame and guilt?
Thanks Smile
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29-07-2012, 12:10 PM
RE: How do I deal with shame and guilt?
(29-07-2012 10:16 AM)MNeufs Wrote:  Hey guys, so lately I've been dealing with some shame and guilt for the last few hours in my life. Is there any way you guys can help me? It's hard to say stuff nowadays without someone getting mad. Can you help?

Apologize if it doesn't hurt you or them, and forgive your self.

Realize that guilt is a tool that lets you know you do not have to reply the past.

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The atheist is a man who destroys the imaginary things which afflict the human race, and so leads men back to nature, to experience and to reason.
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29-07-2012, 12:16 PM
RE: How do I deal with shame and guilt?
(29-07-2012 12:10 PM)fstratzero Wrote:  
(29-07-2012 10:16 AM)MNeufs Wrote:  Hey guys, so lately I've been dealing with some shame and guilt for the last few hours in my life. Is there any way you guys can help me? It's hard to say stuff nowadays without someone getting mad. Can you help?

Apologize if it doesn't hurt you or them, and forgive your self.

Realize that guilt is a tool that lets you know you do not have to reply the past.

So is it replay or reply the past?
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29-07-2012, 02:04 PM
RE: How do I deal with shame and guilt?
I think you can assume "replay".

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29-07-2012, 02:11 PM
RE: How do I deal with shame and guilt?
Oh... I thought it was "... reply to the past". Maybe some clarification would be good about now. Confused

I think in the end, I just feel like I'm a secular person who has a skeptical eye toward any extraordinary claim, carefully examining any extraordinary evidence before jumping to conclusions. ~ Eric ~ My friend ... who figured it out.
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29-07-2012, 03:09 PM
RE: How do I deal with shame and guilt?
Since going public is a good idea, I will go for it.

Yesterday I was up on skype with a girl I met on the nets, (I'm 18 and male, nothing illegal here) and she wanted me to strip on webcam. I ended up doing so, and then she turned off on me (she promised to show herself on webcam but did not). I had never stripped before and honestly I feel so guilty about it because "she" might have been a troll. I feel so fucking guilty and I have so much shame because of this. My friends that I've talked to told me that dicks don't get famous on the news, so I should feel happy. But in the past whenever I've done something shameful, I've always tried to go to Jesus. I haven't had shame or guilt for the longest time so I have no idea what to do. But now that I can't believe in Jesus, it's impossible to stop the shame. I need to learn how to be tough. I need people to lay rest on for guilt and shame because others are hard to find. I don't know how to deal with guilt or shame and to move on.

This post takes so much of my guts to do.
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29-07-2012, 03:43 PM (This post was last modified: 29-07-2012 03:52 PM by morondog.)
RE: How do I deal with shame and guilt?
You're a brave man, first... well I don't know how difficult it'd be for you but for me stripping on cam has exactly 0% chance of happening, and second for having the honest to gods giant sized balls to post here. She must have been satisfied anyway Wink

You have no reason to feel shame or guilt.

I am however rather delighted by your admission that in a previous life you would have gone to Jesus with something like this Big Grin I love humans Tongue

PS: It only happened recently. You'll forget it soon. Major part of feeling shame is feeling *there's something bad about me, something wrong with me, normal people don't do these kinds of things*. Am I right? Well. Normal people do do those kinds of things. Every single person who is the same age or older than you has been in plenty of horrible embarrassing situations of a similar level of indignity. So don't sweat it. We won't judge you.

PPS: If she's someone you know it's more of a pain. She's the one who made it awkward though. OTOH if she's still friendly realise that she may have just chickened out, girls also have a hard time with things like that, it takes courage from them too - if she got cold feet she probably feels bad about it herself.
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29-07-2012, 04:10 PM
RE: How do I deal with shame and guilt?
Problem was that we had just met recently, and so that's where some of the guilt stems from.
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29-07-2012, 04:43 PM
RE: How do I deal with shame and guilt?
Take it easy then. If you're like me you're probably worried a. she wants to make fun of me b. does she like me at all? If you're again like me, you'll overthink this and stuff it up. If however you can show her that you're not bothered by it somehow... this is where it's a gray area because I'm always bothered by stuff like that so my advice is theoretical... but if you can just, next time you see her, make a joke about it and smile, show that you aren't gonna resent her for it, then you my friend might just get somewhere Wink
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29-07-2012, 05:17 PM
RE: How do I deal with shame and guilt?
Ease up on yourself...you're 18 and, if memory serves, a mass of hormones with feet.

Bet that everyone here did something kinda dumb when they were young. It's a good lesson to learn, sounds like you can't know for sure who was on the other end since she wasn't on camera. Maybe don't do that again.

Learn from it...move on.

'See here they are, the bruises, some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way.' -JF
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