How do I deal with shame and guilt?
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
06-08-2012, 12:10 AM
RE: How do I deal with shame and guilt?
(29-07-2012 03:09 PM)MNeufs Wrote:  Since going public is a good idea, I will go for it.

Yesterday I was up on skype with a girl I met on the nets, (I'm 18 and male, nothing illegal here) and she wanted me to strip on webcam. I ended up doing so, and then she turned off on me (she promised to show herself on webcam but did not). I had never stripped before and honestly I feel so guilty about it because "she" might have been a troll. I feel so fucking guilty and I have so much shame because of this. My friends that I've talked to told me that dicks don't get famous on the news, so I should feel happy. But in the past whenever I've done something shameful, I've always tried to go to Jesus. I haven't had shame or guilt for the longest time so I have no idea what to do. But now that I can't believe in Jesus, it's impossible to stop the shame. I need to learn how to be tough. I need people to lay rest on for guilt and shame because others are hard to find. I don't know how to deal with guilt or shame and to move on.

This post takes so much of my guts to do.

I have similar experience with this kind of thing. Since I am no longer single, I almost never go into chat rooms and there is only one person I would ever strip for now. If you never showed your face, you have nothing to worry about. I tend to evaluate what the consequences are before I feel guilt about something. If that was another guy that you stripped for, you need to worry about them posting the video online. If your face is in it, there is a possibility someone you know will see it. This was done on the computer, so no worries about std's. If it was some underage kid looking for a glimpse, it is not your fault. They lied about age and as far as I see it, curiousity is only normal. Of course society in general would dis-agree. If I were you I would use dating websites to find women. Even if you are not looking for anything permanent, you need to be able to verify the identity of the person you are talking to. If you did show your face, you should try an image search engine, such as http://www.tineye.com. If your image is out there, I would advise you to find it and request that it be removed. Employers, schools, and many other people look for you online, before they decide if you should work for them. Other than that, don't sweat the small stuff.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-08-2012, 12:39 AM
RE: How do I deal with shame and guilt?
ok by now I feel like saying something.
I wouldn't really worry about others seeing it online who know me because guess what, they would never tell you and even IF you have the best trumph in your hand, because the moment they say, "haha I saw your strip online!" you are like "haha I know where you find your porn!". It is more embarrassing to know where someone finds their porn than to be the person in the video. No need to be ashamed.
And why guilt? I see no reason where any feeling of guilt could come from. You didn't do anything to anyone, you took your clothes off for a girl that asked you for it.
In the future you might change your taktics on this topic, if you wanna see something as well. You are young > This time next year you will be embarrassed about something else.
You will keep being embarrassed about all kinds of stuff until you are really self-assured which means you have to start really knowing yourself, your borders and consequences of what you do.

Just recently a buddy and I where talking about the general topic of being ashamed. I said that by now I am never ashamed or embarrassed anymore. If I do something clumsy at work I make a joke about it and move on, when I think about things that I did in the past I shrug and am like "I was young and did stupid things", when I say soemthing silly I openly play with the sillyness. Took me a while to be like that but honestly, if you are embarrassed that means that the opinions of others are more important to you than your own opinion about yourself.
Work on finding your own opinion of yourself more important than the opinions of anyone else, and you have the key to a not-embarrassing life Wink

cheers

[Image: 69p7qx.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-08-2012, 01:01 AM
RE: How do I deal with shame and guilt?
(06-08-2012 12:39 AM)Leela Wrote:  ok by now I feel like saying something.
I wouldn't really worry about others seeing it online who know me because guess what, they would never tell you and even IF you have the best trumph in your hand, because the moment they say, "haha I saw your strip online!" you are like "haha I know where you find your porn!". It is more embarrassing to know where someone finds their porn than to be the person in the video. No need to be ashamed.
And why guilt? I see no reason where any feeling of guilt could come from. You didn't do anything to anyone, you took your clothes off for a girl that asked you for it.
In the future you might change your taktics on this topic, if you wanna see something as well. You are young > This time next year you will be embarrassed about something else.
You will keep being embarrassed about all kinds of stuff until you are really self-assured which means you have to start really knowing yourself, your borders and consequences of what you do.

Just recently a buddy and I where talking about the general topic of being ashamed. I said that by now I am never ashamed or embarrassed anymore. If I do something clumsy at work I make a joke about it and move on, when I think about things that I did in the past I shrug and am like "I was young and did stupid things", when I say soemthing silly I openly play with the sillyness. Took me a while to be like that but honestly, if you are embarrassed that means that the opinions of others are more important to you than your own opinion about yourself.
Work on finding your own opinion of yourself more important than the opinions of anyone else, and you have the key to a not-embarrassing life Wink

cheers

I am at a point in my life where I just don't care anymore. I apologize to knowone (except sometimes my wife), I am who and what I am. Best I can do is try not to hurt others, unless they deserve it. I don't generally give a shit what people think. I have a thick skin and mere words cannot breach it. As far as violence is concerned I live by a quote from star trek voyager. "When diplomacy fails, force must be applied without apology."
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Birdguy1979's post
06-08-2012, 02:42 AM
RE: How do I deal with shame and guilt?
birdguy the post was not directed towards you but towards the originally embarrassed guy Smile Was no offence intended, if received as such, I am sorry.

[Image: 69p7qx.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-08-2012, 02:50 AM
RE: How do I deal with shame and guilt?
(06-08-2012 02:42 AM)Leela Wrote:  birdguy the post was not directed towards you but towards the originally embarrassed guy Smile Was no offence intended, if received as such, I am sorry.

No offense taken. I probably worded my post wrong. I am not sure if becoming like me is a good thing. However the original person posting seriously needs to sit down and decide what kind of person he wants to be. I am perfectly happy the way I am. I highly recommend it, because every person everywhere sucks in at least one way. I myself do as well. I just don't feel sorry about it in any way.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Birdguy1979's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: