How do I grow the balls to say what I really think on FB?
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12-05-2012, 03:56 AM (This post was last modified: 12-05-2012 04:02 AM by Atheist Chiefs fan!.)
How do I grow the balls to say what I really think on FB?
I love all of my friends.

The majority of them are christian.

I work with a lot of them.
And we all get along great at work. But a lot of the reason we get along is becuz I keep my mouth shut about religion. On the opposite side of the coin tho, if someone brings religion up I will give them my thought. I understand that I'm the minority and most will disagree (and I am OK with that). (For the most part) we are all civilized about our conduct and respect for each others opinion. They know I am a decent person just like I know they are.

But, I cant just...LET LOOSE. you know?

Maybe that's a good thing. I wouldn't want some dipshit letting loose all the time on his religious beliefs from his POV. But my shit is based off observable fact. It's just that. What if I want to let loose and just say "Hey you fucking idiots! Jesus is just an adaptation from prior shit." or "Look at all the contradictions and atrocities." and/or " A talking motherfucking donkey?! And when I say talking motherfucking donkey don't take the word motherfucking literal you scapegoating son of a bitch!" etc..

you get my point.....

I can actually get past all my friends at work I think. What's bothers me most is....






My family.
If I say what I really want. I will lose my parents. All of my siblings (except my sister maybe). And most of the friends I grew up with (for my parents associated with fellow believers).




Am I a hypocrite? Coward myself?

I condemn religion for being cowardly. For not facing up to the reality of death. For not facing up to the fact that they were indoctrinated and that they fall into the same category as most people on the earth, the category of believing what you were raised to believe.

Forget Jesus. Stars died so you could live.-Lawrence Krauss

For god loved the world so much he tortured his only begotten son, gave him a 3 day nap only to wake up in ultimate awesomeness and called it a sacrifice.
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12-05-2012, 04:13 AM
RE: How do I grow the balls to say what I really think on FB?
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My girlfriend is mad at me. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried cooking a stick in her non-stick pan.
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12-05-2012, 04:17 AM
RE: How do I grow the balls to say what I really think on FB?
Cowardly? You said it yourself that you'd lose your parents, siblings and all your friends. That isn't something that can swept under a rug and shrugged off. So I would say it's not cowardly at all but rather understandable.

As for letting lose on FB I wouldn't advise it, well at least not in the sense of swearing at them followed by paragraphs of verbal abuse. You can get your point across subtly without being an asshole about it.

ie:
friend: "something bad happened but Jesus saved me"
you: "I think you are mistaking Jesus with the guy that gave you CPR..."

Little exaggerated but you get my point.

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12-05-2012, 04:19 AM
RE: How do I grow the balls to say what I really think on FB?
It sounds like you want an excuse to rant about your beliefs while simultaneously acknowledging that you understand that it'll fracture your relationships, plus you don't care to hear their rants... but you think you're in a different situation because you're right. And I imagine you know they think the exact same thing about their views.

I struggle with this, too. Arguments with my Christian parents are pretty pointless because they let me know up front that they are unwilling to change their minds, although they expect me to be willing. Would a rant about the reasons that I find their religion false actually persuade them? Probably not. Would it ruin our relationship. Probably. It's a no-brainer in my book. You have an outlet for your rants right here... so use it Smile

My girlfriend is mad at me. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried cooking a stick in her non-stick pan.
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12-05-2012, 04:25 AM (This post was last modified: 12-05-2012 04:28 AM by houseofcantor.)
RE: How do I grow the balls to say what I really think on FB?
Here's an idea: fuck facebook. And you sound like one of them "nice" people, so it ain't gonna do you no good to put on an asshole mask if there ain't no asshole underneath. You're just gonna stress yourself out more.

As far as I'm concerned, facebook is a bunch of clique-driven pretentious assholery - other than my I love Gwyneth Paltrow page , which is awesome, cause it has Gwynnies, and which you should like, right now. Big Grin
(12-05-2012 04:19 AM)Starcrash Wrote:  You have an outlet for your rants right here... so use it Smile

I was gonna add this very same thinking, but some other thinking atheist doing my thinking for me. That happens lots, here. My thinker gonna get rusty... er. Big Grin

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12-05-2012, 04:41 AM
RE: How do I grow the balls to say what I really think on FB?
Why do you feel the need to? It wouldn't accomplish much. You wouldn't really seem different from the person shouting about why god is great in their view.

We've started philosophy of religion and I'm hearing people say that thinking undermines faith as it isn't really logical. Less obvious than that but you can see that some people just won't think of changing. A lot of believers were probably in that position too.

So don't bother, you'll just look like an asshole and you might ruin friendships. If they come up with arguments then respond if you want.

Sapere aude! Have courage to use your own understanding!
Take the risk of thinking for yourself, much more happiness, truth, beauty, and wisdom will come to you that way.


Enlightenment is liberating.
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12-05-2012, 04:45 AM
RE: How do I grow the balls to say what I really think on FB?
(12-05-2012 03:56 AM)Atheist Chiefs fan! Wrote:  I love all of my friends.
I work with a lot of them. And we all get along great at work. But a lot of the reason we get along is becuz I keep my mouth shut about religion.....If I say what I really want. I will lose my parents. All of my siblings (except my sister maybe). And most of the friends I grew up with (for my parents associated with fellow believers)....

Nobody needs to "grow a pair", it's about realizing you ALREADY have a pair. You're never going to FORCE them to think the way you do, all you can do is quietly plant the seeds of doubt, which will sprout, when they sprout. Fighting with people is a useless enterprise. All you can do is persist in being the nice guy. Eventually, if you are seen as a resource of knowledge and facts, when the "day of doubt" comes, and IT SURELY WILL, they may seek you out for a quiet, private conversation. Shouting is not productive. Doesn't matter if they are your fmaily, (and how come ALL your "friends" are people you work with ... maybe better "fix" that ??...join the atheist soccer team).. if that changes, and the "family" thing changes. things will look different. You have YOUR OWN LIFE. SCREW THEM ALL, and STOP living for other people. Tongue

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
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12-05-2012, 04:46 AM
RE: How do I grow the balls to say what I really think on FB?
What you put up on the Internet stays there forever. Doubly so for facebook. If you're going to say something you'll regret, at least try and do so in a forum where you are somewhat anonymous. That's why I joined up here!

Give me your argument in the form of a published paper, and then we can start to talk.
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12-05-2012, 05:54 AM
RE: How do I grow the balls to say what I really think on FB?
I imagine nearly all of us have hovered over our keyboards desperately wanting to reply to a religious comment or assertion. Type, delete, type, delete, . . . And we either made the jump and put our thoughts out there or decided it wasn't worth the trouble and didn't comment. Same goes for face-to-face discussions on religion. Say something or hold your breath.

I fall in the later category nearly every time. The negatives (which can be many) simply outweigh the positives (which are generally few).

I do have a very close friend who is religious and we freely joke about his beliefs. He'll say something like this, "God's watching you." I'll say something like this if his car breaks down for instance, "Guess you didn't pray to Jesus hard enough on Sunday". We've establish this relationship over many, many years of friendship so there is no worry of offending. On the other hand I have people that are friends and I coach baseball with them. Before every game we kneel down and pray for things like "God give us courage" and "God let us play at our best". I put my head down and think man this is some stupid shit but I don't make waves. Not worth it. Although I don't say Amen at the end.

In short, probably best to keep your hands and mouth shut unless you are really ready for the consequences. Oh and work, forget it. Leave that one way alone.

.
I wasn't . . . until I was
I am . . . until I'm not
.
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12-05-2012, 05:59 AM
RE: How do I grow the balls to say what I really think on FB?
Hey, Chiefs Fan.

You are experiencing pretty much the same anxiety that a homosexual faces.

Do you know any openly homosexual people? If so, they might be a really good resource for you in terms of learning how to deal with that anxiety, how to cope with the issue of coming out and how to approach living in the open.

If you don't know anyone per-se, I'm sure there's internet resources and or telephone help-lines that can be contacted.

I hope this isn't coming of as facetious. I'm completely serious.

You are what you are. And yes, sometimes that means that your family and friends and co-workers will shun you. I knew a guy (we're from Montreal) who grew up in a French household. When he was 16, he told his parents that he wanted to learn English and they threw him out of the house and disowned him. I also know plenty of homosexuals who were nervous about coming out and found that their families and friends were incredibly welcoming and supportive. I met a man at a seminar recently who came out of the closet while studying to become an officer at the Canadian Forces Royal Military College in 1992, the very first year homosexuals were allowed in the army. There was some resistance to be sure, but by and large, he spoke of a culture that was accepting of him.

Coming out can be difficult, even painful, even costly, but I suppose you just have to weigh the burden of living in secret against the possible toll it will take on your relationships. But I suppose also that you shouldn't simply look at it as negative. If those people are unwilling to accept you for who you are, perhaps coming out will open the door to new relationships that will be more fulfilling and more supportive.

Good luck with your decision, brother.

Peace and Love and Empathy,

Matt
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