How do I handle my two younger sisters?
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03-06-2015, 11:32 PM
How do I handle my two younger sisters?
Hello,
I need some advice on how to deal with my younger sisters. I'm 23 but I'm still in grad school so out necessity I still live with my mother. My sisters, B and S are 18 and 21 respectively, but really have the emotional maturity level of 13 years olds (they have never been diagnosed with mental or physical disorders). They think it's funny to torment me to get a reaction and than they deny that they do it. I have depression and anxiety issues, and they make fun of it. They also think it's funny when I've told them in the past that I'm suicidal. Recently, I've started to apply for full time jobs and they taunt me with rejection letters I get in the mail. Saying who would want to hire me. They do the same thing with dating. I have to keep it a secret every time I go out with someone because otherwise they would attempt to follow me to the date to harass me there. Being around them I feel like I can't be a regular human being. I have no privacy. They check my phone when I'm in the bathroom, they read my mail, they search my bedroom and hide in my closet. Due to finances, leaving isn't an option right now and I can't even afford therapy to talk to someone. I'm a completely different person when they are away at college for the year. I'm actually happy and satisfied with my life, it's only when they come around that my depression starts to kick in again and I start to have suicidal thoughts.
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04-06-2015, 12:09 AM (This post was last modified: 04-06-2015 12:13 AM by Cosmic Discourse.)
RE: How do I handle my two younger sisters?
Welcome to the forum Ashley,

If at all possible (and if you haven't already), you may want to have a sit down with your whole family (sisters and mom), to express your concerns about fair treatment. If you feel this wouldn't be an effective course of action, it may be time to get more aggressive with your sisters (verbally). It's not okay for them to make you feel lesser than, under any circumstances.

I grew up with peers who battled with self esteem issues and learning challenges; bullying was something that not only infuriated me, but was unacceptable in my presence.

Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, even if it means hurting their feelings. Some people may not agree with that last part, but I've continually found it an effective method of bringing awareness to negative behavior in need of correction.

Feel free to vent on the forum when needed. My apologies if my writing here seems abrasive, I'm just very passionate about defending those who are or feel defenseless.
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04-06-2015, 07:55 AM
RE: How do I handle my two younger sisters?
have you ever asked them why they are so mean and hateful towards you?

I have known some who were under the belief that they thought they were entertaining, that it was all in jest, and (while they should have known), it wasnt until it was pointed out in a moment of calmness that it wasnt being taken in the spirit they were dishing it out in that they realized their actions.

I would suggest divide and conquer. There is usually a ringleader and a follower. Turn them on each other. You might be able to win the follower over afterwards.

what does your mother say about this?


Use every password setup you can, on phone and computers, its a pain to always input it but its for your own protection. Change passwords weekly. I cant imagine living in such a toxic environment. There are plently of books and blogs about dealing with toxic family members that might help.

Use this time to make a game plan on getting out of that house. Find a room mate or two to share an apartment with, get a job or two. Sometimes your own mental health has to come before everything else.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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04-06-2015, 07:59 AM (This post was last modified: 04-06-2015 08:24 AM by goodwithoutgod.)
RE: How do I handle my two younger sisters?
Take all of their belongings out into the yard, light them on fire, tell them they are next....it is all fun and games until someone gets set on fire Evil_monster

Kidding.

I recommend a sitdown, are your parents blind to this? Why aren't they engaging? Sibling rivalry is one thing, harassment to this degree is another. Best of luck

"Belief is so often the death of reason" - Qyburn, Game of Thrones

"The Christian community continues to exist because the conclusions of the critical study of the Bible are largely withheld from them." -Hans Conzelmann (1915-1989)
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04-06-2015, 08:06 AM
RE: How do I handle my two younger sisters?
also, do you have any other family members nearby that you could move in with? grandparents? cousins? or family friends? maybe you could exchange some free yard work or babysitting for the summer?

have you considered a job as a camp couselor for kids? it will allow you to live away from home and pay you and provide meals.

or an internship in your field of study?


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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04-06-2015, 08:17 AM
RE: How do I handle my two younger sisters?
after re-reading your first post, I would also suggest to stop telling them anything about your life. It just gives them ammunition.

Be cordial but don't give them any information. Don't tell them about school, employment, interests, nothing.


They arent your friends - they don't get details of your life.


If your mother is sharing this info with them, stop sharing with her as well.

You are 23, an adult. Details get shared only with those that have YOUR best interest first. When Mom asks, explain that you would rather not say because you don't want anything to get back to your sisters. If she cant understand how her relaying info to the sisters is harmful to you then she isnt to be trusted either. If she does understand, and is able to keep your information to herself, great. Ask her to be more involved with how your sisters behave towards you.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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04-06-2015, 08:18 AM
RE: How do I handle my two younger sisters?
Did this all start while the three of you were adults or has it been this way since you were all kids? I'm surprised your parents allow this to go on quite frankly.
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04-06-2015, 08:52 AM
RE: How do I handle my two younger sisters?
I am honest with family. Less so with others but not to the point of lying. To think it possible my brother might think I am a believer, that would be too much.
When in hospital recently surrounded by people sick and dying I became more gentle.
Unless your family is mentally incompetent, I would tell them. Lying day after day to them is too great a demand. If they react poorly, that is their issue.
Good luck.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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04-06-2015, 02:36 PM
RE: How do I handle my two younger sisters?
My father's dead and my mother is just to emotionally drained to deal with them, they do similar things to her, so she just stays at her boyfriend's house all the time and she's never home. Really, she can't do anything about it. I do have a PT job that is giving me really great experience in my field that is near where I live, and I'm taking summer classes nearby so moving isn't really an option until the summer is over and I've saved up more money. I do have a grandmother near by but she's got Simease cats that I'm very allergic to that will trigger an asthma attack in me after about an hour of being there. Nobody else to really stay with, my friends are all around my age and mainly still live with their parents.
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12-06-2015, 10:24 PM
RE: How do I handle my two younger sisters?
If you want to play dirty, "disappear" an item belonging to one sister, wait a few days, and plant it in the other sister's room. Use this technique very sparingly, and just shrug if you get asked about it.

Oh, and passwords. Use them on every piece of electronics you can possibly put them on.

Finally, if they've been opening your mail, report them to the authorities and let them sweat. Otherwise, perhaps use your grandmother's place as an alternate address.
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