How do I make new friends?
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07-12-2015, 02:55 AM
How do I make new friends?
So, as I age, I find people falling out of my life at an increased rate. Sometimes for good reasons, and sometimes for not so good reasons. I suppose that's something that happens in your twenties. To make matters worse, I'm not really sure if I'm the one driving them away (and if so, how I'm doing it).

Leaving this town would be ideal, but I have children here, among other factors that make it difficult for me to leave. What I need right now more than anything is someone who will visit me. Someone to kick it with and have deep discussions with. Someone to give me a hug. I'm not quite the gregarious individual, so the bar scene isn't exactly my forte. On top of that, there are no meetups of anything but churches. There must be something I haven't thought of, though. If anyone has any helpful advice, lend it to me. I'm at a loss right now, really. Much appreciation! ^-^
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07-12-2015, 03:49 AM
RE: How do I make new friends?
(07-12-2015 02:55 AM)jesusimsowry Wrote:  So, as I age, I find people falling out of my life at an increased rate. Sometimes for good reasons, and sometimes for not so good reasons. I suppose that's something that happens in your twenties. To make matters worse, I'm not really sure if I'm the one driving them away (and if so, how I'm doing it).

Leaving this town would be ideal, but I have children here, among other factors that make it difficult for me to leave. What I need right now more than anything is someone who will visit me. Someone to kick it with and have deep discussions with. Someone to give me a hug. I'm not quite the gregarious individual, so the bar scene isn't exactly my forte. On top of that, there are no meetups of anything but churches. There must be something I haven't thought of, though. If anyone has any helpful advice, lend it to me. I'm at a loss right now, really. Much appreciation! ^-^

If you are still in your twenties you have nothing to worry about. Over my life I have noticed changes happening, for example from 18 to 25. One seems to be another individual. New people will come by you simply as time passes.

The idea is to not be desperate for it. It is like a desperate guy looking for a woman. Big turn off.

Also there are all kinds of ways of conversing. I spend time here, for example again, because there are people I enjoy listening too. If you want a deep discussion you can start a thread about it, and if it is sensible, chances are you find yourself involved with some pretty cool people.

Stick around and get to know some of these people. I admit, I am quite proud to know them. It can be the same with you.

Good luck. It'll happen. Smile

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07-12-2015, 04:28 AM
RE: How do I make new friends?
Welcome to the forum.

Is there any clubs or groups around you to do with any hobbies or interests you may have? If there isnt, why not think about creating one?

If you have any spare time you could look into volunteering?

I feel so much, and yet I feel nothing.
I am a rock, I am the sky, the birds and the trees and everything beyond.
I am the wind, in the fields in which I roar. I am the water, in which I drown.
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07-12-2015, 05:52 AM
RE: How do I make new friends?
(07-12-2015 03:49 AM)Banjo Wrote:  
(07-12-2015 02:55 AM)jesusimsowry Wrote:  So, as I age, I find people falling out of my life at an increased rate. Sometimes for good reasons, and sometimes for not so good reasons. I suppose that's something that happens in your twenties. To make matters worse, I'm not really sure if I'm the one driving them away (and if so, how I'm doing it).

Leaving this town would be ideal, but I have children here, among other factors that make it difficult for me to leave. What I need right now more than anything is someone who will visit me. Someone to kick it with and have deep discussions with. Someone to give me a hug. I'm not quite the gregarious individual, so the bar scene isn't exactly my forte. On top of that, there are no meetups of anything but churches. There must be something I haven't thought of, though. If anyone has any helpful advice, lend it to me. I'm at a loss right now, really. Much appreciation! ^-^

If you are still in your twenties you have nothing to worry about. Over my life I have noticed changes happening, for example from 18 to 25. One seems to be another individual. New people will come by you simply as time passes.

The idea is to not be desperate for it. It is like a desperate guy looking for a woman. Big turn off.

Also there are all kinds of ways of conversing. I spend time here, for example again, because there are people I enjoy listening too. If you want a deep discussion you can start a thread about it, and if it is sensible, chances are you find yourself involved with some pretty cool people.

Stick around and get to know some of these people. I admit, I am quite proud to know them. It can be the same with you.

Good luck. It'll happen. Smile
Quote:So, as I age, I find people falling out of my life at an increased rate

Same here! And I'm going on 70!

Quote:Stick around and get to know some of these people. I admit, I am quite proud to know them.

Good advice. It has worked for me. I have found quite a few Meet Up groups within a reasonable distance from me. And I live in a very, very, very, conservative area of the country.

Stick with it.

DJ

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07-12-2015, 06:01 AM
RE: How do I make new friends?
Take up a sport or a hobby. Easy way to meet people who're into the same things as you.

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If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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07-12-2015, 06:23 AM
RE: How do I make new friends?
And don't be afraid to be alone.

You have to learn to like yourself, before anyone else will....

Smile

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07-12-2015, 07:29 AM
RE: How do I make new friends?
I meet people at work. I'm about to start a new job, and I'm looking at that as an opportunity to be my former outgoing self (I'm in a much better place emotionally than when I started my last one) and make new friends.

Your local civic center might offer activities, even if they're just for kids - you'll get the opportunity to meet other parents. Take a night class at a community college like art or cosmetology or photography or organic gardening or hell, I took bowling as an elective at Auburn. Take an exercise class like barre or Zumba or yoga or body pump or...

Depending on the size of your town or proximity to a large city, a lot of places have young professional clubs - they have meet and greet events as well as volunteer events.

Examples of volunteer stuff: downtown rescue missions (helping out the homeless), special Olympics, humane societies/kennels, science or art museums, Red Cross, meals on wheels, CASA...

Book clubs, model rocketry clubs, sewing groups, garden societies, and running clubs are pretty common even in smaller places.

Coffee shop - strike up a conversation

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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07-12-2015, 07:43 AM
RE: How do I make new friends?
Just saw your intro thread - so you're a dude in Ohio.

Ultimate frisbee

Cycling (bicycles) is becoming really popular everywhere - find the closest store and strike up a conversation with the workers about how to get started and when people are meeting up to ride together

Chess club

Start doing 5K races, doesn't matter how fast or slow you are. Same approach as the bicycle store, find your closest specialty running store (like Fleet Feet) and talk to the workers

Get on Craig's list and Facebook and put an ad out to start an atheist meetup if you're not closeted

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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07-12-2015, 09:23 AM
RE: How do I make new friends?
I am not sure if anyone mentioned it, but meetup.com is good. There is also a user map on here, maybe other TTA people would be interested in meeting up in your area if you became friends with them online?

I agree with what MD and Nurse said, go to where your interests/hobbies are and join clubs/groups/take courses etc.--that's the best way to meet people.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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07-12-2015, 11:01 AM
RE: How do I make new friends?
Hey, welcome.

J-Bee took my idea. I was also going to suggest meetup.com. Smile

You might find some local atheist groups. For me, jobs are where I've met most of my off-line friends, but I feel there are many friends here on TTA. Just stick around and interact and you're on your way! Thumbsup

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