How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
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09-05-2017, 11:54 AM
How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
My faith has been dying for months now and I've finally decided to let it die for good. It was on life-support and I tried my damn hardest to keep it alive to only make myself suffer as result. I need help here and I'm venting as well, and I may even suffer from "Religious Trauma Syndrome."

Honestly, I don't know what I even am now other than "religiously unaffiliated." I can't call myself an atheist because of the beliefs still lingering in my mind to no avail of freedom from them, can't call myself agnostic either because I still am unsure and don't know what I even stand for based on the beliefs still sticking around as I had already let my faith die, and my mind is still clinging to certain parts of my off-life support religious beliefs that I had decided were no longer apart of my life.

I think that I might be deist and I'm just hiding behind a username on the Internet because of judgement and convincing of others with such beliefs I once held deeply on this website. I'm too much a coward to come out and say that I don't share their beliefs (that aren't still clinging to me like moths to a dying flame) anymore, and my brother seems to have figured out that I've given up my religion because I was studying an atheist-written book and he saw me typing on here one day. He doesn't say a word and what I am going to miss is the sense of community, but I'm too confused and scared.

Am I alone here?
Am I a coward?
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09-05-2017, 12:08 PM
RE: How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
Hi, welcome Smile

The path to atheism doesn't happen overnight, particularly if you've been conditioned by religious thinking for a number of years. That said, imo, people put too much emphasis on labels. It's okay to allow yourself to live in the gray. Don't put added pressure on yourself in the form of needing to find a label, just use this as a time to investigate and continue to educate yourself on religion (specifically history of), science, and reason.
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09-05-2017, 12:08 PM
RE: How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
(09-05-2017 11:54 AM)cantfixme Wrote:  My faith has been dying for months now and I've finally decided to let it die for good. It was on life-support and I tried my damn hardest to keep it alive to only make myself suffer as result. I need help here and I'm venting as well, and I may even suffer from "Religious Trauma Syndrome."

Honestly, I don't know what I even am now other than "religiously unaffiliated." I can't call myself an atheist because of the beliefs still lingering in my mind to no avail of freedom from them, can't call myself agnostic either because I still am unsure and don't know what I even stand for based on the beliefs still sticking around as I had already let my faith die, and my mind is still clinging to certain parts of my off-life support religious beliefs that I had decided were no longer apart of my life.

I think that I might be deist and I'm just hiding behind a username on the Internet because of judgement and convincing of others with such beliefs I once held deeply on this website. I'm too much a coward to come out and say that I don't share their beliefs (that aren't still clinging to me like moths to a dying flame) anymore, and my brother seems to have figured out that I've given up my religion because I was studying an atheist-written book and he saw me typing on here one day. He doesn't say a word and what I am going to miss is the sense of community, but I'm too confused and scared.

Am I alone here?
Am I a coward?

NO you are not alone, and no, you wouldn't even be a "coward" for not telling everyone. Only you can judge your in person direct life. I would say yes it would be great if every atheist could be open about it 100% of the time, and over the past 30 years we have gained ground sure. But even with all that, no, you are the only one in your real life outside the internet that can judge the risk and what you are willing to risk.

Been at this 16 years, and we hear stories of teenagers living in silence because they still live at home. We even hear stories of adults who live in silence because they live in deeply conservative communities.

But that fear isn't limited to atheists. Liberal Muslims and religious gays and former Muslims living in far more oppressive parts of the East including theists, live in fear too.

It does you no good, even in the west, to put yourself at risk 100% of the time. What you ultimately decide within your personal relationships and your community in life outside the net is always up to you.

You still have the support here on the internet when you need it. If you live in the west, you can also google a local atheist community you can seek face to face interaction, even if you don't tell your family.

Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37
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09-05-2017, 12:18 PM
RE: How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
(09-05-2017 12:08 PM)jennybee Wrote:  Hi, welcome Smile

The path to atheism doesn't happen overnight, particularly if you've been conditioned by religious thinking for a number of years. That said, imo, people put too much emphasis on labels. It's okay to allow yourself to live in the gray. Don't put added pressure on yourself in the form of needing to find a label, just use this as a time to investigate and continue to educate yourself on religion (specifically history of), science, and reason.

Thanks. I was brought up in a religious family and I went to a church devotedly for a few years, and I shouldn't try to find a label for myself. I'm just right in the middle right now, lingering closer and closer away from religion each day. You're right, and I shouldn't rush myself to find out where I should be in life as far as non-belief in a deity.
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09-05-2017, 12:21 PM
RE: How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
it took me 20 years to shake the religion thing.

I went around to lots of different things and then realized I'm more a secular humanist than anything else.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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09-05-2017, 12:24 PM
How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
Just consider yourself Agnostic for now until you get things sorted out. Don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself about this.

Do a lot of reading and fact finding I recommend you read the Bible especially the Old Testament. If that doesn't make you an Atheist nothing will.
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09-05-2017, 12:26 PM
RE: How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
(09-05-2017 12:08 PM)Brian37 Wrote:  
(09-05-2017 11:54 AM)cantfixme Wrote:  My faith has been dying for months now and I've finally decided to let it die for good. It was on life-support and I tried my damn hardest to keep it alive to only make myself suffer as result. I need help here and I'm venting as well, and I may even suffer from "Religious Trauma Syndrome."

Honestly, I don't know what I even am now other than "religiously unaffiliated." I can't call myself an atheist because of the beliefs still lingering in my mind to no avail of freedom from them, can't call myself agnostic either because I still am unsure and don't know what I even stand for based on the beliefs still sticking around as I had already let my faith die, and my mind is still clinging to certain parts of my off-life support religious beliefs that I had decided were no longer apart of my life.

I think that I might be deist and I'm just hiding behind a username on the Internet because of judgement and convincing of others with such beliefs I once held deeply on this website. I'm too much a coward to come out and say that I don't share their beliefs (that aren't still clinging to me like moths to a dying flame) anymore, and my brother seems to have figured out that I've given up my religion because I was studying an atheist-written book and he saw me typing on here one day. He doesn't say a word and what I am going to miss is the sense of community, but I'm too confused and scared.

Am I alone here?
Am I a coward?

NO you are not alone, and no, you wouldn't even be a "coward" for not telling everyone. Only you can judge your in person direct life. I would say yes it would be great if every atheist could be open about it 100% of the time, and over the past 30 years we have gained ground sure. But even with all that, no, you are the only one in your real life outside the internet that can judge the risk and what you are willing to risk.

Been at this 16 years, and we hear stories of teenagers living in silence because they still live at home. We even hear stories of adults who live in silence because they live in deeply conservative communities.

But that fear isn't limited to atheists. Liberal Muslims and religious gays and former Muslims living in far more oppressive parts of the East including theists, live in fear too.

It does you no good, even in the west, to put yourself at risk 100% of the time. What you ultimately decide within your personal relationships and your community in life outside the net is always up to you.

You still have the support here on the internet when you need it. If you live in the west, you can also google a local atheist community you can seek face to face interaction, even if you don't tell your family.

Thanks. I'm just scared to open my mouth and about everyone I know outside of the Internet is religious and here I am thinking doubt about all of the deity stuff. I wish that I could go out and meet people like me, and I'm scared that people will find out while I'm still not ready to tell them the truth. I still care about them, but they won't care for my non-belief whilst dealing with lingering beliefs dying in a flame each day.

This website is where I can feel free to post about the subject of religion right now without judgement or someone trying to convince me that I'm wrong or doing something wrong in my thinking. I don't want to be a judge to them, nor do I want them to be a judge to me. I'm not the best at social interaction, but I do my best for sure. Finding an atheist community is just something I might have to go out of my way to search for, but I'm not ready to tell anybody about my beliefs on religion because I don't even know where I am in this gray area of life right now.
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09-05-2017, 12:28 PM
RE: How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
(09-05-2017 12:24 PM)KUSA Wrote:  Just consider yourself Agnostic for now until you get things sorted out. Don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself about this.

Do a lot of reading and fact finding I recommend you read the Bible especially the Old Testament. If that doesn't make you an Atheist nothing will.

I appreciate your advice and I do consider myself as an agnostic now that I really think about it. I can take that advice as well and I want to thank you as well for replying to my post.
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09-05-2017, 12:42 PM
RE: How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
(09-05-2017 12:24 PM)KUSA Wrote:  Just consider yourself Agnostic for now until you get things sorted out. Don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself about this.

Do a lot of reading and fact finding I recommend you read the Bible especially the Old Testament. If that doesn't make you an Atheist nothing will.

That is one thing we agree on.

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09-05-2017, 01:40 PM
RE: How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
(09-05-2017 11:54 AM)cantfixme Wrote:  Am I alone here?

You will find that plenty of people on this forum have gone through the same or similar experiences.
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