How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
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09-05-2017, 04:22 PM
RE: How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
(09-05-2017 12:26 PM)cantfixme Wrote:  
(09-05-2017 12:08 PM)Brian37 Wrote:  NO you are not alone, and no, you wouldn't even be a "coward" for not telling everyone. Only you can judge your in person direct life. I would say yes it would be great if every atheist could be open about it 100% of the time, and over the past 30 years we have gained ground sure. But even with all that, no, you are the only one in your real life outside the internet that can judge the risk and what you are willing to risk.

Been at this 16 years, and we hear stories of teenagers living in silence because they still live at home. We even hear stories of adults who live in silence because they live in deeply conservative communities.

But that fear isn't limited to atheists. Liberal Muslims and religious gays and former Muslims living in far more oppressive parts of the East including theists, live in fear too.

It does you no good, even in the west, to put yourself at risk 100% of the time. What you ultimately decide within your personal relationships and your community in life outside the net is always up to you.

You still have the support here on the internet when you need it. If you live in the west, you can also google a local atheist community you can seek face to face interaction, even if you don't tell your family.

Thanks. I'm just scared to open my mouth and about everyone I know outside of the Internet is religious and here I am thinking doubt about all of the deity stuff. I wish that I could go out and meet people like me, and I'm scared that people will find out while I'm still not ready to tell them the truth. I still care about them, but they won't care for my non-belief whilst dealing with lingering beliefs dying in a flame each day.

This website is where I can feel free to post about the subject of religion right now without judgement or someone trying to convince me that I'm wrong or doing something wrong in my thinking. I don't want to be a judge to them, nor do I want them to be a judge to me. I'm not the best at social interaction, but I do my best for sure. Finding an atheist community is just something I might have to go out of my way to search for, but I'm not ready to tell anybody about my beliefs on religion because I don't even know where I am in this gray area of life right now.

Even when and if you become an atheist, you don't have to shout it from the rooftops. As an atheist or even living in the gray, *you* get to decide where to go from here, and that includes if and when you decide to tell various people in your life. Being an atheist, or even living in the gray means you are free from the shackles of religious have to's, shoulds, need to's. And you get to do use that freedom as you see fit. Don't put any pressure on yourself, just let things happen organically. The hard part's over--you had the courage to look behind the curtain. The rest is up to you.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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09-05-2017, 05:01 PM
RE: How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
(09-05-2017 04:22 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(09-05-2017 12:26 PM)cantfixme Wrote:  Thanks. I'm just scared to open my mouth and about everyone I know outside of the Internet is religious and here I am thinking doubt about all of the deity stuff. I wish that I could go out and meet people like me, and I'm scared that people will find out while I'm still not ready to tell them the truth. I still care about them, but they won't care for my non-belief whilst dealing with lingering beliefs dying in a flame each day.

This website is where I can feel free to post about the subject of religion right now without judgement or someone trying to convince me that I'm wrong or doing something wrong in my thinking. I don't want to be a judge to them, nor do I want them to be a judge to me. I'm not the best at social interaction, but I do my best for sure. Finding an atheist community is just something I might have to go out of my way to search for, but I'm not ready to tell anybody about my beliefs on religion because I don't even know where I am in this gray area of life right now.

Even when and if you become an atheist, you don't have to shout it from the rooftops. As an atheist or even living in the gray, *you* get to decide where to go from here, and that includes if and when you decide to tell various people in your life. Being an atheist, or even living in the gray means you are free from the shackles of religious have to's, shoulds, need to's. And you get to do use that freedom as you see fit. Don't put any pressure on yourself, just let things happen organically. The hard part's over--you had the courage to look behind the curtain. The rest is up to you.

Thanks so much and you helped me see how free I really am, and how I should handle this subject of whether I believe in a deity or not! I don't have to abide by the restraints I was once stuck in my own personal torture in guilt and pain that it had brought me. It no longer controls me and I'm very relieved to have understood that. Thumbsup

I just feel like I'm gonna become an atheist sooner or later and religion had torn me apart limb from limb mentally. I was in belief that I was some sort of "monster" and I was "wrong" as a "sinner" in my decisions to achieve personal freedom. I threw away my life and what I wanted to do with it because of the Bible. I wish that I could have seen atheism in a better light much sooner than now.

You guys are just awesome for telling me what I should be hearing.
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09-05-2017, 05:06 PM
RE: How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
(09-05-2017 05:01 PM)cantfixme Wrote:  
(09-05-2017 04:22 PM)jennybee Wrote:  Even when and if you become an atheist, you don't have to shout it from the rooftops. As an atheist or even living in the gray, *you* get to decide where to go from here, and that includes if and when you decide to tell various people in your life. Being an atheist, or even living in the gray means you are free from the shackles of religious have to's, shoulds, need to's. And you get to do use that freedom as you see fit. Don't put any pressure on yourself, just let things happen organically. The hard part's over--you had the courage to look behind the curtain. The rest is up to you.

Thanks so much and you helped me see how free I really am, and how I should handle this subject of whether I believe in a deity or not! I don't have to abide by the restraints I was once stuck in my own personal torture in guilt and pain that it had brought me. It no longer controls me and I'm very relieved to have understood that. Thumbsup

I just feel like I'm gonna become an atheist sooner or later and religion had torn me apart limb from limb mentally. I was in belief that I was some sort of "monster" and I was "wrong" as a "sinner" in my decisions to achieve personal freedom. I threw away my life and what I wanted to do with it because of the Bible. I wish that I could have seen atheism in a better light much sooner than now.

You guys are just awesome for telling me what I should be hearing.

You're free from here on out to make your own choices of what's best for you--free from guilt. Make your own choices based on what you want to do. If Christian guilt starts creeping in, that's when you know you need to reassess your thought process and put it back onto your own thoughts, desires, dreams, needs. No more magical sky daddy looking over your shoulder telling you how to live.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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09-05-2017, 05:55 PM
RE: How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
(09-05-2017 05:06 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(09-05-2017 05:01 PM)cantfixme Wrote:  Thanks so much and you helped me see how free I really am, and how I should handle this subject of whether I believe in a deity or not! I don't have to abide by the restraints I was once stuck in my own personal torture in guilt and pain that it had brought me. It no longer controls me and I'm very relieved to have understood that. Thumbsup

I just feel like I'm gonna become an atheist sooner or later and religion had torn me apart limb from limb mentally. I was in belief that I was some sort of "monster" and I was "wrong" as a "sinner" in my decisions to achieve personal freedom. I threw away my life and what I wanted to do with it because of the Bible. I wish that I could have seen atheism in a better light much sooner than now.

You guys are just awesome for telling me what I should be hearing.

You're free from here on out to make your own choices of what's best for you--free from guilt. Make your own choices based on what you want to do. If Christian guilt starts creeping in, that's when you know you need to reassess your thought process and put it back onto your own thoughts, desires, dreams, needs. No more magical sky daddy looking over your shoulder telling you how to live.

I feel much more confident. Big Grin
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09-05-2017, 05:59 PM
RE: How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
Just a question I'd like to have an answer to is when is it OK to call myself an atheist? I'm more than less agnostic right now, but I'm leaning towards atheism right now while I sort my mind out.
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09-05-2017, 06:01 PM
RE: How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
(09-05-2017 05:59 PM)cantfixme Wrote:  Just a question I'd like to have an answer to is when is it OK to call myself an atheist? I'm more than less agnostic right now, but I'm leaning towards atheism right now while I sort my mind out.

Don't worry so much about labeling yourself. When you get to that point you will know.

It really isn't anyone else's business where you are in your level of belief or non.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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09-05-2017, 06:05 PM
RE: How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
(09-05-2017 06:01 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(09-05-2017 05:59 PM)cantfixme Wrote:  Just a question I'd like to have an answer to is when is it OK to call myself an atheist? I'm more than less agnostic right now, but I'm leaning towards atheism right now while I sort my mind out.

Don't worry so much about labeling yourself. When you get to that point you will know.

It really isn't anyone else's business where you are in your level of belief or non.

I agree with you. Thumbsup
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09-05-2017, 06:10 PM
How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
(09-05-2017 06:05 PM)cantfixme Wrote:  
(09-05-2017 06:01 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Don't worry so much about labeling yourself. When you get to that point you will know.

It really isn't anyone else's business where you are in your level of belief or non.

I agree with you. Thumbsup


Also when you get to that point you may find that labels don't mean much anymore. I think that religions train us to put a label on ourselves.

I really don't think of myself as an Aleprechaunist or Aunicornist.
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09-05-2017, 06:11 PM
RE: How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
(09-05-2017 06:10 PM)KUSA Wrote:  
(09-05-2017 06:05 PM)cantfixme Wrote:  I agree with you. Thumbsup


Also when you get to that point you may find that labels don't mean much anymore. I think that religions train us to put a label on ourselves.

I really don't think of myself as an Aleprechaunist or Aunicornist.

I guess that's where I learned about labels. I feel like such an idiot now.
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09-05-2017, 06:13 PM
How do I say goodbye to religion for good?
If you are an idiot then we all are.

You are not an idiot. Actually you are likely quite smart because you are using reason to question things.
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