How do i deal with family?
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16-03-2013, 04:24 PM
RE: How do i deal with family?
(27-01-2013 11:50 PM)BizzysaidAss Wrote:  Weeping I'm very worried have any one told they family and friends they are atheist and how did it go ,should i tell them or keep lying to them and myself ?
UPDATE .TODAY i told them and they got mad at me and my brother laughed at me , and said you are not a atheist "pry to god and ask to be forgiven." and Sad i did they thanked me and hung up the phone then i yelled fuck a god !!!!!!
No .

but better news in in therapy now i go every friday and so far its helping me a lot i still have not learned to stand up for myself tho.

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16-03-2013, 04:29 PM
RE: How do i deal with family?
(16-03-2013 04:24 PM)BizzysaidAss Wrote:  UPDATE .TODAY i told them and they got mad at me and my brother laughed at me , and said you are not a atheist "pry to god and ask to be forgiven." and Sad i did they thanked me and hung up the phone then i yelled fuck a god !!!!!!
No
but better news in in therapy now i go every friday and so far its helping me a lot i still have not learned to stand up for myself tho.
I'm happy that you took that step Bizzy, even if it may not have turned out exactly as you planned it. It's a step in the right direction for you and that's what is important.

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The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
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16-03-2013, 04:51 PM
RE: How do i deal with family?
(16-03-2013 04:29 PM)bbeljefe Wrote:  
(16-03-2013 04:24 PM)BizzysaidAss Wrote:  UPDATE .TODAY i told them and they got mad at me and my brother laughed at me , and said you are not a atheist "pry to god and ask to be forgiven." and Sad i did they thanked me and hung up the phone then i yelled fuck a god !!!!!!
No
but better news in in therapy now i go every friday and so far its helping me a lot i still have not learned to stand up for myself tho.
I'm happy that you took that step Bizzy, even if it may not have turned out exactly as you planned it. It's a step in the right direction for you and that's what is important.

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Thanks ,yeah that was bold of me .lol

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16-03-2013, 07:16 PM (This post was last modified: 16-03-2013 07:21 PM by Luminon.)
RE: How do i deal with family?
(16-03-2013 04:24 PM)BizzysaidAss Wrote:  UPDATE .TODAY i told them and they got mad at me and my brother laughed at me , and said you are not a atheist "pry to god and ask to be forgiven." and Sad i did they thanked me and hung up the phone then i yelled fuck a god !!!!!!
No .

but better news in in therapy now i go every friday and so far its helping me a lot i still have not learned to stand up for myself tho.
I see you're very brave, saying it straight and then taking all the blame... Some people just don't deserve the truth. They can't handle it, they have no use for it. No matter if you tell them the truth, they don't know what the words mean and invent their own meaning. The meaning of atheist is normal, natural, the way you were born. Their meaning of atheist is Satan worshipper. You can't tell to such people that you're an atheist, that would equal telling them you eat babies. Nevermind your honesty, when meeting a Frenchman you try to speak French, so when meeting fundies you have to use a special mode of communication.

In your case I'd just try to show positive values... I wouldn't say the A-word aloud, but I'd do things the way an atheist would. I'd question any loose claims around, I'd condemn injustice in inequality (no permanent punishments or rewards), I'd insist on explaining outright all the buzzwords...

The relatives might or might not realize what it has to do with the Bible. First I'd show them a role model of what an atheist is. If they asked me if I believe, I'd say yes, but that this belief is not important to me, if god needed me to serve him better, he'd give me some sign. (evidence)

If you claim there are nuances to principles, there are no nuances to getting arrested or shot for disobeying the power.
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17-03-2013, 04:51 PM (This post was last modified: 17-03-2013 04:55 PM by BizzysaidAss.)
RE: How do i deal with family?
(16-03-2013 07:16 PM)Luminon Wrote:  
(16-03-2013 04:24 PM)BizzysaidAss Wrote:  UPDATE .TODAY i told them and they got mad at me and my brother laughed at me , and said you are not a atheist "pry to god and ask to be forgiven." and Sad i did they thanked me and hung up the phone then i yelled fuck a god !!!!!!
No .

but better news in in therapy now i go every friday and so far its helping me a lot i still have not learned to stand up for myself tho.
I see you're very brave, saying it straight and then taking all the blame... Some people just don't deserve the truth. They can't handle it, they have no use for it. No matter if you tell them the truth, they don't know what the words mean and invent their own meaning. The meaning of atheist is normal, natural, the way you were born. Their meaning of atheist is Satan worshipper. You can't tell to such people that you're an atheist, that would equal telling them you eat babies. Nevermind your honesty, when meeting a Frenchman you try to speak French, so when meeting fundies you have to use a special mode of communication.

In your case I'd just try to show positive values... I wouldn't say the A-word aloud, but I'd do things the way an atheist would. I'd question any loose claims around, I'd condemn injustice in inequality (no permanent punishments or rewards), I'd insist on explaining outright all the buzzwords...

The relatives might or might not realize what it has to do with the Bible. First I'd show them a role model of what an atheist is. If they asked me if I believe, I'd say yes, but that this belief is not important to me, if god needed me to serve him better, he'd give me some sign. (evidence)
lol That is so true.

My family are control freaks and scared to be truly free i'm moving away from them and cutting off connections to them like Facebook and calling I'll call my mom but on a blocked number .My therapist told me I resort back to child hood and since i was abused" all my life "by my mom and them i can't stand up for my self.i love your advice but im going to just walk away from my Sad family.

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17-03-2013, 05:28 PM
RE: How do i deal with family?
(27-01-2013 11:50 PM)BizzysaidAss Wrote:  Weeping I'm very worried have any one told they family and friends they are atheist and how did it go ,should i tell them or keep lying to them and myself ?
Just my humble opinion, but this is something that you will have to weigh the pros and cons and decide for yourself. Without knowing more details, this the gist of the amount of advice I feel comfortable expressing.

Just read update post... nevermind.

Obama promised you change. Reach in your pocket, feel those coins? There's your change...
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18-03-2013, 05:09 AM
RE: How do i deal with family?
(28-01-2013 07:27 AM)Ghost Wrote:  Hey, Bizzy.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
-Dr. Seuss

I know people who have come out of the closet (be it about sexuality, language, religion) and their parents disowned them and cast them out of the house. I know people who have come out of the closet and, through ongoing struggle, have moved from a place of confusion and fear to a place of acceptance, sometimes with the whole family and sometimes with only part. I know people who have come out of the closet and been accepted with tearful joy. I know people who have come out of the closet and been greeted by, "Well no fucking shit. It's about time."

This isn't a question of them. It's a question of you. Are you willing to hide yourself or are you willing to live out loud? Hiding yourself is always toxic. And yes, the consequence of living out loud may very well be ostracism. Then again, it might be acceptance. Then again, it might even educate the uninitiated. What are you comfortable with? How do you want to live your life?

Peace and Love and Empathy,

Matt

Ghost....I saw your name here and thought "Oh no...what is he going to say?" (LOL) How wrong I was! Well said!
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18-03-2013, 05:25 AM
RE: How do i deal with family?
(30-01-2013 10:07 PM)cjs Wrote:  I'm sorry for what you're going through. You should not have to lose family over this. I find it extremely ironic and pathetic that so many members of a religion which supposedly preaches forgiveness and love will cut off their own flesh and blood because they think god wants this. They believe we have no morals, yet here we are saying that you should not have to live a lie and they should love you even if they do not agree with you on everything. I didn't cut my brother off when he became a Pentecostal.

You didn't nail the fuckin' Pentecostal? Shame on you! And you think you're in our atheist brotherhood!
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27-03-2013, 03:21 AM
RE: How do i deal with family?
Therapy is working great for me so far its been 2 months and i'm standing up to my family but respectful and my mom is ecepting my new found self respect i didn't know it would be so easy .

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27-03-2013, 03:50 AM
RE: How do i deal with family?
(27-03-2013 03:21 AM)BizzysaidAss Wrote:  Therapy is working great for me so far its been 2 months and i'm standing up to my family but respectful and my mom is ecepting my new found self respect i didn't know it would be so easy .

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Good news. Good job.

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