How do i deal with family?
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31-01-2013, 02:22 PM
RE: How do i deal with family?
(31-01-2013 01:46 PM)bbeljefe Wrote:  I would advise you not to tell your family so long as you plan to maintain some level of dependance on them. I would, however, advise that you tell them at the point when you feel comfortable with the knowledge that doing so will probably cause them to sever the relationship.

Please keep us informed as your therapy progresses. I think you're moving in a good direction and I understand that for some, it takes a while to internalize the information you've recently been receiving. You'll get there though and you will find happiness provided you stick to the therapy with an open mind.
The fact that i'm scared to tell them or even ask proves i already know the results ,I will keep you all updated about my therapy The sad part is i went for help with depression and the rape issue and i ended up telling her about my family like i did here so i don't know if she will help me with both problems .
my appointment is feb 6 Smile i'm happy ya'll even care .

i need to get this off my mind my fear is having no family like people with no family always seem lost and unloved that's horrible i'm being abused ya know but at lest i have family some people don't and they want a family .FUCK! i just repeated what my mom told me smh. Is she right?

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31-01-2013, 02:39 PM
RE: How do i deal with family?
As others have said, you need to be true to yourself first and foremost. It is awesome that you are seeking professional help. It really shows that you want to be in a different place than you are in now. I am no mental health expert but I cringe at the emotional warfare your mother is inflicting on you with the guilt and absurd mortal harm threats.

Bizzy, I don't know you other than from a handful of posts but you need to free yourself from your mother's prison. I am not advocating cutting all ties but you are an adult who needs to not feel guilty about who they are. No one should ever feel guilt about who they are if they have done nothing wrong----and you haven't. If your mother cannot accept your differences then she is indeed only your biological parent and nothing more.

I wish only the best for you and that someday soon you can interact with your family where religion is not a weapon of control or guilt.
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31-01-2013, 03:01 PM
RE: How do i deal with family?
IMO all families are difficult at times.
Dysfunctional families are excruciatingly difficult, as can be, your fessing up.
I would go for the jugular,speaking metaphorically, and get it over and done with. Smile
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31-01-2013, 03:17 PM
RE: How do i deal with family?
"i'm being abused ya know but at lest i have family"

You're right, that's not you speaking, it's you mother. And those words aren't for your benefit, they are for hers.

I'd like to know, in your words, what is best for you... can you say it?
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01-02-2013, 05:32 AM
RE: How do i deal with family?
(31-01-2013 03:17 PM)bbeljefe Wrote:  "i'm being abused ya know but at lest i have family"

You're right, that's not you speaking, it's you mother. And those words aren't for your benefit, they are for hers.

I'd like to know, in your words, what is best for you... can you say it?
I don't know .

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01-02-2013, 06:00 AM
RE: How do i deal with family?
(31-01-2013 03:01 PM)Mr Woof Wrote:  IMO all families are difficult at times.
Dysfunctional families are excruciatingly difficult, as can be, your fessing up.
I would go for the jugular,speaking metaphorically, and get it over and done with. Smile
I can't .my whole family treat me like my mom do like i thought it was normole When i stick up for myself its a joke to them like lil dedra trying to be grown i'm told im a baby i need to stay close to my mom it's safe and i end up laughing with them and saying things like i'm being silly or just joking but im hurting inside but they stop the insults .

I try every Christmas since i moved by my self which was 2009 to miss holidays when and my grandmom and mom lecture me about" You just want to sit at home by your self thats not healthy" but on any other day they want me to be alone or with only family for my safety i'm conditioned to it .


and as far as dating they ask me do i have a guy then if i say no its "Good" "all men are bad you was raped you know it." :/
and i said yes i do have a guy and i did and my mom yelled at me saying we was sinning and calling me every minute begging me to leave him and i just gave up and left him i only knew him on line so i blocked him .i
felt crazy and sad .my grandmom tells me im to stupid and a kids to even want to date no man is good don't date its a waiste of time
I don't get why they ask me that even my sister ask me and then says i'm telling mom !!and she tells on me and they call me :o like im a child !its scary and sick but i fear leaving i can't do it.

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01-02-2013, 06:00 AM
RE: How do i deal with family?
(31-01-2013 03:01 PM)Mr Woof Wrote:  IMO all families are difficult at times.
Dysfunctional families are excruciatingly difficult, as can be, your fessing up.
I would go for the jugular,speaking metaphorically, and get it over and done with. Smile
I can't .my whole family treat me like my mom do like i thought it was normole When i stick up for myself its a joke to them like lil dedra trying to be grown i'm told im a baby i need to stay close to my mom it's safe and i end up laughing with them and saying things like i'm being silly or just joking but im hurting inside but they stop the insults .

I try every Christmas since i moved by my self which was 2009 to miss holidays when and my grandmom and mom lecture me about" You just want to sit at home by your self thats not healthy" but on any other day they want me to be alone or with only family for my safety i'm conditioned to it .


and as far as dating they ask me do i have a guy then if i say no its "Good" "all men are bad you was raped you know it." :/
and i said yes i do have a guy and i did and my mom yelled at me saying we was sinning and calling me every minute begging me to leave him and i just gave up and left him i only knew him on line so i blocked him .i
felt crazy and sad .my grandmom tells me im to stupid and a kids to even want to date no man is good don't date its a waiste of time
I don't get why they ask me that even my sister ask me and then says i'm telling mom !!and she tells on me and they call me :o like im a child !its scary and sick but i fear leaving i can't do it.

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01-02-2013, 06:01 AM
RE: How do i deal with family?
I have footage of my grandmom acting this way im going to post it so ya'll know im not making this up .

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01-02-2013, 06:41 AM (This post was last modified: 01-02-2013 07:59 AM by BizzysaidAss.)
RE: How do i deal with family?
She is a crazy bitch !! i hate my grandmom always have .this was took on christmas day, my older sister her husband and her husband and my mom sitting by me .
shes ranting about How her son is a slave for god but ended up saying she meant her dad or family master but he died i never met that loser or his family .I'm happy about that.

the second part of her rant is about my sister son almost dying from a car crash when he was 9 was one of my abusers as a child she do not know he is a gross bastard i was happy when that car hit him Sad it stoped him from abusing me but he still said sick shit to me up until 2009 it stoped i told him not to call me and he didn't call any more ,i never been afraid of him tho he's a bitch ass punk like my brother .God saved him YEAH RIGHT!!! It was God saving me by running his ass over lol Or karma what ever i don't believe in god but when i was 13 i always said to my self it was god who hit him with the car Smile.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SmR3aWl_...e=youtu.be

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16-03-2013, 04:24 PM
RE: How do i deal with family?
(27-01-2013 11:50 PM)BizzysaidAss Wrote:  Weeping I'm very worried have any one told they family and friends they are atheist and how did it go ,should i tell them or keep lying to them and myself ?
UPDATE .TODAY i told them and they got mad at me and my brother laughed at me , and said you are not a atheist "pry to god and ask to be forgiven." and Sad i did they thanked me and hung up the phone then i yelled fuck a god !!!!!!
No
but better news in in therapy now i go every friday and so far its helping me a lot i still have not learned to stand up for myself tho.

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