How do you deal with those "alone" times?
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29-11-2011, 10:41 PM
RE: How do you deal with those "alone" times?
Erxomai,
this may sound impertinent, but it's offered with respect.
I don't think any part of your life is delusion. Illusions may have been present - but, who didn't have them? and what would we have turned into without them? Without them, how could we have been disillusioned? (which is an important step, imo, toward maturity) People may have lied to and misled you. Who hasn't been lied to or gone down a wrong path?
It's not the path that matters, nor even the reason you walked it, but what you did there; how you conducted yourself; how you affected others and the world.
If you did harm, there are amends and restitutions to make: that's a purpose. If you did good, does a mistaken motive make the result less desirable? You still get credit! If you had experiences that changed you, that's who you are now - accept it, embrace it, make good use of it.

Wherever and whatever we have been; whatever we have learned and done; whomever we have known and loved and hated - and yes, even whatever we have believed - is part of what we are. Richer, bigger, wiser, sadder --- more.
Nevertheless, it's real.

If you pray to anything, you're prey to anything.
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29-11-2011, 10:49 PM
RE: How do you deal with those "alone" times?
(29-11-2011 10:41 PM)Peterkin Wrote:  Erxomai,
this may sound impertinent, but it's offered with respect.
I don't think any part of your life is delusion. Illusions may have been present - but, who didn't have them? and what would we have turned into without them? Without them, how could we have been disillusioned? (which is an important step, imo, toward maturity) People may have lied to and misled you. Who hasn't been lied to or gone down a wrong path?
It's not the path that matters, nor even the reason you walked it, but what you did there; how you conducted yourself; how you affected others and the world.
If you did harm, there are amends and restitutions to make: that's a purpose. If you did good, does a mistaken motive make the result less desirable? You still get credit! If you had experiences that changed you, that's who you are now - accept it, embrace it, make good use of it.

Wherever and whatever we have been; whatever we have learned and done; whomever we have known and loved and hated - and yes, even whatever we have believed - is part of what we are. Richer, bigger, wiser, sadder --- more.
Nevertheless, it's real.

Thank you, Peterkin. It's not impertinent at all. Your comments are very helpful to me. As I'm not "out" to my family and Christian friends, it's difficult to get good feedback for the stuff in my head. So this is very meaningful to me and I appreciate you reaching out to share.

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30-11-2011, 01:19 AM
RE: How do you deal with those "alone" times?
Am I the only one who thought this thread was about porn? Big Grin


You're right, being an atheist is hard sometimes because you can't let the bible answer everything for you. Most existentialist questions go unanswered and even the greatest philosophers can't agree on this. I wonder what Nietzsche thought when lying in bed...

"Infinitus est numerus stultorum." (The number of fools is infinite)
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30-11-2011, 10:24 AM
 
RE: How do you deal with those "alone" times?
(29-11-2011 02:31 PM)djgenx7 Wrote:  Honest question here....As a christian, when I had a down moment by myself, where I had no one else to turn to, I always had God/Jesus. Now, as an atheist, who/what do I turn to when I have those moments...those moments when you're sitting by yourelf in your room or on a walk outside with your thoughts, and you have no one to transfer the hurt/conversation to. How do you guys deal with those times? And Im not talking about getting a friend, or seeking professional help, I mean when you're alone, and it's just you and space..where do you turn to cope

As a part time Recording Engineer/Producer and Video Editor, i find that quite ALONE time is some of the most valuable time i have. I cherish the quiet, motionless moments alone. To simply have NO thought is bliss. Just a human...being. Dont fear aloneness or quieting your mind. When you spoke to JC & the Sunshine band you were simply talking to yourself then, so now just direct the questions to YOU.

If non of that works or helps then a really good red wine helps!!!

D
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30-11-2011, 10:30 AM
RE: How do you deal with those "alone" times?
(29-11-2011 06:22 PM)ClydeLee Wrote:  My best solution has been using your creative mind and develop something that you can feel proud about.

Whenever I've having one of those "moments", where I just need someone, but I don't have anyone (I usually do have someone, so it's rare that I just seclude myself to my imagination, though I do it often anyways --makes sense if you think about it) I day dream A LOT. I listen to music, play video games, read, write, draw- anything that can very well inspire and motivate me. Its like, my happy place in my head. Big Grin
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30-11-2011, 10:37 AM
 
RE: How do you deal with those "alone" times?
I write poetry.
Most of the time, it's depressing.
Talking about suicide, death, anything that would be labeled as "emo".

If I don't do that.
Then, I draw.
My drawings may not be wonderful, but they always have a meaning.
Sometimes, it's a meaning that only I can see.
But, isn't that all that matters?

Honestly.
An emo kid cuts themselves.
I'm the kind of person that masturbating, is like my cutting.
I don't know how to explain it, but it helps.
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30-11-2011, 11:20 AM
RE: How do you deal with those "alone" times?
Although some people may think I'm crazy, I talk to myself.
It's amazing when your other selfs, personalities or whatever come out and speak to you. You learn to listen that "quiet inner voice" and it helps to understand yourself better.

If I were a believer I'd think that it was God himself speaking to me.
When I was a believer I used to think that.

Those "alone" times are priceless and I don't need any deity to get to know myself. On the contrary, I now think freely without feeling that God is reading my mind and being afraid of thinking bad words, porn, revenge, etc.

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30-11-2011, 01:26 PM
RE: How do you deal with those "alone" times?
(30-11-2011 10:37 AM)calmyourtitsbro Wrote:  Honestly.
An emo kid cuts themselves.
I'm the kind of person that masturbating, is like my cutting.
I don't know how to explain it, but it helps.

It certainly couldn't hurt.

My girlfriend is mad at me. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried cooking a stick in her non-stick pan.
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30-11-2011, 07:15 PM
RE: How do you deal with those "alone" times?
Meditation is a positive thing - however you choose to approach it.

Interestingly, in the gnostic gospels - the ones later termed heresies by the holy catholic church, several had mentions of jeebus' teachings that the way to peace/heaven/whatever was within. Some sounded Buddhaesque...

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03-12-2011, 12:41 PM
RE: How do you deal with those "alone" times?
A loner as a kid and little has changed.
I relish the times I have where I can discuss things with my inner self.
No subject is taboo or too boring.
I often go off for a ride and openly argue with myself, or yell and rant inside my helmet just to clear it from my system.
I can abuse myself and tell myself to snap out of the misery and get on with it.
I can congratulate myself on my little victories.
It’s good for you.
An on going self help program that can’t be credited to anything other than you.

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. Friedrich Nietzsche
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