How to deal with death?
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24-10-2012, 09:22 PM
RE: How to deal with death?
Back when my first husband died, I wasn't as firm in my non-belief. His death was sudden and pretty unexpected and I wanted answers...answers that never came as to the why he had such a short life. Yeah, I knew that he had an alcohol and drug problem so some of it made sense but I still never understood why that was his fate. I did spend a couple hours at his grave yelling at him. Doubt he heard any of it but it made me feel better.

When my dad died, it ended his physical pain from illness. He wanted to die and was ready to. I was sad that he was gone but glad he had been released from the suffering he endured at the end. It's been three years. I am good with it. It was time...life goes on...his life over as mine will be one day. It's all good.

When I was diagnosed with cancer and came face to face with the my impending demise, I really didn't dwell on it. I was either going to live or die. I worried about my son...we are really close and I wasn't quite ready to leave him yet. Other than that I knew I didn't want to go through the pain dad did. That was my biggest concern. I wasn't afraid to die, I was afraid of physical pain. Obviously, I didn't die, but I did live with horrible pain for a couple years and got through it, now I am not as afraid of pain as I was. When I am gone, I'll just be gone and the world will keep right on turning. It's not so scary any more.

The concept of death is very different at different times of life, at least it has been for me. Now it just is. It happens, to us all. We aren't getting out of here alive.

See here they are, the bruises, some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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24-10-2012, 09:51 PM
RE: How to deal with death?
Death used to frighten me quite a lot. I remember thinking about it as a child, and hoping that I wouldn't die from drowning, or being burned in a volcano (I was for some reason, deathly afraid of volcanoes.)

I realized recently, that now when I think about death and dying, I'm not emotionally, or mentally afraid of death. I am however, physically afraid of death. It's hard to explain, but when I think about being dead, I get a tightness in my chest, and start breathing a bit harder. I've thought about it, and I think that it's perhaps some deeply buried instinct to make a person try to avoid death. Emotionally, I am fine with death, physically, I don't seem to be. Smile

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24-10-2012, 10:27 PM
RE: How to deal with death?
How to deal with death? Lose the fucking ego.

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24-10-2012, 10:33 PM
RE: How to deal with death?
(24-10-2012 10:27 PM)houseofcantor Wrote:  How to deal with death? Lose the fucking ego.
'Gotta love Johnny's straight to the point philosophy. Big Grin
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24-10-2012, 10:45 PM
RE: How to deal with death?
Lego my ego? Laugh out load They weren't just pushing a product, they where giving advice on dealing with death. Who knew?

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24-10-2012, 11:28 PM
RE: How to deal with death?
The after-life or whatever isn't here and now. Here and now, life is for living. Who cares what happens when you're dead? If I reach the end of my life I want to look back and think "yeah, I went all out, to the max. Tried my best every time, didn't miss my opportunities, gave some other people a leg up maybe..." Sure it's maybe pointless in the long run. Since when was my life obliged to have a point ? Smile

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25-10-2012, 12:11 AM
RE: How to deal with death?
I deal with the death of loved ones in what is probably a really odd way. My grandfather died about 2 years ago. I am not certain what finally got him. He was a chain smoker for as long as I can remember until one morning it caught up with him and he had not one, but several major heart attacks. For the next 10 or so years he dropped smoking cold turkey and for a little while (few years) seemed to look healthier than before his heart problems. The last few years were full of pain as my mom and her sister tried to hang onto him as long as possible. The last couple months I wished that I could just legally put him out of his misery. His hands and arms and possible the rest of him started turning black. This blackening was of course cell death. He was in such pain that you could not touch him without making him yell. He had 2 kids in his lifetime as well as 3 grandkids and almost made it to seeing his first great grandchild (still hasn't quite happened yet, but I know it will). That is a hell of a run these days. It was more than time to go, he overstayed his welcome.

As far as my own death goes. I hope to die old and happy after I have had and raised at least one kid. If before that I am diagnosed with something like als or something equally horrible, I would choose an appropriate time to take myself out. Probably the day before they take away my drivers license (freedom), I would drive off a cliff or 110 miles an hour into the side of a freeway overpass or wall of a shopping mall. My last words would probably be something like "If you exist god, here I come and I am bringing at least a few angry people with me that would not have died if you hadn't inflicted this disease on me.". Of course I don't have anything like that and there is no history in my family of that. I would even tell my doctor that if there is anything he/she can think of that might cure it (even if dangerous), the doc better try it, because once my quality of life is about to go bye bye and with it the ability to take myself out, I plan to do so.

So bottom line is, I measure death and whether or not it is tragic by how old is the person and what have they accomplished in life.
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25-10-2012, 12:23 AM (This post was last modified: 25-10-2012 12:26 AM by Logisch.)
RE: How to deal with death?
Why the fuck would you need to kill others just because you're diagnosed with something terminally ill? Whether or not it is hereditary is beyond your control. You could have it not a tad bit in your genes, and still get the shit luck of having cancer. But that's no reason to end the life of another human being who is minding their own business. Who are you to decide whether or not they are miserable or not? Is it because you'd be a jealous miserable asshole and you feel like it would make you feel better? Guess what, you'd be dying, it wouldn't, and it wouldn't get you anywhere.

You talk about how you "obey the rules to the best of your ability" and think you should just ignore other people who don't obey the rules... then you talk about killing innocent people that you don't even know? That's fucked up man. You're a hypocrite.
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25-10-2012, 12:30 AM
How to deal with death?
(24-10-2012 07:07 PM)WeAreOne Wrote:  
(24-10-2012 06:36 PM)poolboyg88 Wrote:  You're making a straw man. I didn't say 'death', I said 'PROCESS OF DYING'.

I'm sure no personal attack on you was intended. I for my part certainly do appreciate all input. Different ways of thinking are always welcome!Yes

Oh, I think I might like you already. Even if you started off with a depressing topic. Big Grin

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
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25-10-2012, 01:29 AM
RE: How to deal with death?
(25-10-2012 12:23 AM)Logisch Wrote:  Why the fuck would you need to kill others just because you're diagnosed with something terminally ill? Whether or not it is hereditary is beyond your control. You could have it not a tad bit in your genes, and still get the shit luck of having cancer. But that's no reason to end the life of another human being who is minding their own business. Who are you to decide whether or not they are miserable or not? Is it because you'd be a jealous miserable asshole and you feel like it would make you feel better? Guess what, you'd be dying, it wouldn't, and it wouldn't get you anywhere.

You talk about how you "obey the rules to the best of your ability" and think you should just ignore other people who don't obey the rules... then you talk about killing innocent people that you don't even know? That's fucked up man. You're a hypocrite.

No, it is because I view life as a slap in the face. I have always drawn the short straw with everything in life. I figure it would be my way of slapping life back. Like I said, luckily I have no such thing. By the way, I said ALS. You know Lou gehrig's disease. The one that a few years from death will leave you with a fully active mind, but a body that won't even allow you to do anything but blink your eyes and then eventually not even that. Yes, I would be pissed enough to take others with me if I had that. To me that would be one more thing that life did to me.
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