How to fuck with Jehova's witnesses
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24-05-2011, 11:54 AM
RE: How to fuck with Jehova's witnesses
Gassykitten, you stole your idea from Hitler! Tongue




"Infinitus est numerus stultorum." (The number of fools is infinite)
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24-05-2011, 12:04 PM
 
RE: How to fuck with Jehova's witnesses
[Image: 6.gif] Hitler didn't see these JW's. Pagan orgies! Not a chance. Tongue
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24-05-2011, 06:49 PM
 
RE: How to fuck with Jehova's witnesses
What you really have to do is listen to what they have to say... Act like it is intriguing to you and tell them you want to know more and more and more. They do not know what to do... they are too used to people slamming the door on them.
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24-05-2011, 07:31 PM (This post was last modified: 25-05-2011 04:14 AM by UnderTheMicroscope.)
RE: How to fuck with Jehova's witnesses
I had some church cougars come to my door once... long conversation, they pinched my cheeks a lot and belittled me when I asked for reason to believe, so I slammed the door in their faces... they came back with their daughters next time...

Hey brother christian, with your high and mighty errand, your actions speak so loud, I can't hear a word you're saying.

"This machine kills fascists..."

"Well this machine kills commies!"
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24-05-2011, 11:52 PM
 
RE: How to fuck with Jehova's witnesses
Hehe, Dutch ex JW here, living in Belgium....

I remember hating going from door to door, really bloody hating it. And hoping that people would slam the door in my face as quickly as possible. In fact, I tried to do worse on purpose.. of course, every once in a while, you'd meet some poor bleeding heart who would listen out of pity Dodgy

And the best way to fuck with them? Difficult, as they feel pretty superior to everyone and there is little that can pop that dream. Pagan orgies, multilingual screwups and such will be told as 'war stories' later on.

The best way is to catch them in their own reasoning, let them talk and then use their own arguments to crush them. They will try to talk themselves out of it ("But you misunderstood, what I meant is...."), let them redefine, crush them again. At some point the house of cards that is their ad-hoc reasoning will come crashing down. It takes forever though.... and it is nowhere near as fun as a Pagan orgy. Angel
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25-05-2011, 12:24 AM
 
RE: How to fuck with Jehova's witnesses
I hosed them down once while watering my garden. The stupid neighbors called the police on me.

I started crying and they decided to leave.

I never told any body I was faking the tears.
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26-05-2011, 04:49 AM
RE: How to fuck with Jehova's witnesses
Here is a cute story from a friend of mine...

When he was little there was one woman named Franka who used to come to his house, probably to talk about Jesus or something. He remembered her, because she had a glass eye! Then about 15 years later, when he was 20+, he was walking around the town and saw her (Franka) dealing those Watchtower papers... Of course, he recognized her instantly, but she didn't recognize him. She started her talk: "Young man, do you want to live forever?" Then he put the most diabolical smile he could on his face and answered: "Franka, I already live forever! See you soon..." Then turned around and walked away. He could see the horror in her one eye...

Smile

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I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.
-Hunter S. Thompson
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26-05-2011, 05:08 AM
RE: How to fuck with Jehova's witnesses
Hmmm ..... I think I need to practice my trolling. You guys beat me hands down on this.
My story is the most pitiful to be here ... oh well Sad

A couple of old men came to my door.
I answered.
They offered to talk about jesus.
I said I was already a Christian and slammed the door.

Yeah ... Professor Gaglamesh's school of lame ... class is now in. I'm gonna go drink.

Atheism is a religion like OFF is a TV channel !!!

Proud of my genetic relatives Big Grin
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26-05-2011, 06:19 AM
 
RE: How to fuck with Jehova's witnesses
There was a time when I didn't have to worry about the JW's coming to my door.
We had a St. Bernard when he was in the yard they didn't even think about coming to my door they kept right on walking. Big Grin
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26-05-2011, 01:54 PM
 
RE: How to fuck with Jehova's witnesses
I remember a time when the JWs came over to my folks' home. I was about 15, or so, and just watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was the episode called "Hush", where everything is silent, and the creepy people just kept on grinning and grinning. Anyways, they popped up, rang the doorbell, and when I answered, I was instantly reminded of sheep ready for the slaughter. While they were going through their speach, I told them to wait one second, and went to the kitchen. Once their, I told my brother to get our costume masks from the garage, which, by the by, looked more like the characters from the episode 'Hush'.

I could see that the JWs were becoming impatient, so me and my brother went out the back door, donned our masks, and appeared right behind them. We didn't do much of anything, except stare at them, but when they turned around, I got to smile as they jumped at the sight of us. They became nervous as we just stood there, staring at them, not saying a word. Even after they tried to say hi to us, we just kept staring. About five minutes later, they left, but when they turned around at the edge of our driveway, they saw me and my brother, in the middle of the driveway, just staring at them until they drove away.
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