How to help my mother
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07-07-2012, 05:21 AM (This post was last modified: 07-07-2012 05:30 AM by Scarlet Pimpernel.)
RE: How to help my mother
Quote:I do not have the kind of cash to go and just buy two plane tickets plus stay off work for at least a week, plus still pay bills, a place to live, feed my family. I don't have money aside that I can use for such things

It isn't a vacation, you know!
You can cut the cost in half by buying only one ticket!
There! Already saved 50%!
Be creative!
Sorry, there are no free teleportation portals yet afaik.

But if you don't want to do what it takes, well... that is of course always your decision.

And don't get your knickers in a twist again! You asked for advice, lady! So don't whine when you get it.
Deal with it.

Of course you're lucky in sofar that the situation is not super urgent, time-wise: your mom's partner needs to wake up first, and then it will take at least another few weeks, even months, to be able to see to what extent he might recover. This can – and probably will – take a looong time: my dad was in rehab for 6 months! Then spent the next 10 years in a wheelchair.
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07-07-2012, 06:21 AM
RE: How to help my mother
You obviously don't even see when you step out of line Scarlet.
If your advice is that I should ruin my life because a friend is sad, then keep it to yourself, thanks.
You are rude and ignorant, leave me alone.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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07-07-2012, 06:35 AM (This post was last modified: 07-07-2012 06:56 AM by Scarlet Pimpernel.)
RE: How to help my mother
Quote:You obviously don't even see when you step out of line Scarlet.
If your advice is that I should ruin my life because a friend is sad, then keep it to yourself, thanks.

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, dear!
And, since you seem to conveniently forget, it is not 'a friend' who is sad, it is your mother!

Quote:You're rude and ignorant.

Really?
I am not the one using that vocabulary, honey. You are...
I am not the one thinking of all kinds of excuses to not go help her mother in her hour of need. You are...
So who is "rude and ignorant"... Laughat
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07-07-2012, 07:15 AM
RE: How to help my mother
(07-07-2012 06:35 AM)Scarlet Pimpernel Wrote:  
Quote:You obviously don't even see when you step out of line Scarlet.
If your advice is that I should ruin my life because a friend is sad, then keep it to yourself, thanks.


If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, dear!
And, since you seem to conveniently forget, it is not 'a friend' who is sad, it is your mother!

Quote:You're rude and ignorant.


Really?
I am not the one using that vocabulary, honey. You are...
I am not the one thinking of all kinds of excuses to not go help her mother in her hour of need. You are...
So who is "rude and ignorant"... Laughat


Geez, Scarlett, you don't know the particular circumstances and you offer all kinds of advice that fits your situation but probably not hers.

Some mothers don't come running when their kids have trouble, actually a lot of mothers don't. If you grew up in an ideal situation, be happy but don't assume the same for everyone.

As far as a one way ticket - so she should desert her own kids and leave them with no money and no income to fend for themselves?

You should be asking questions to explore the situation before offering advice that can't fit. And, don't be so abrasive, it doesn't help anyone.

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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07-07-2012, 08:03 AM (This post was last modified: 07-07-2012 08:45 AM by Scarlet Pimpernel.)
RE: How to help my mother
Her problem is that she feels she needs to do something – or she would not have posted her OP – but she at the same time doesn't want contact if she can avoid it. I haven't heard free (video) Skype, FaceTime, ooVoo, Tango, Viber, etc. etc., or similar, mentioned either for instance.

The classic case of wanting your cake and eating it. I.o.w. a Mission Impossible. Something's got to give.

So if you want something to happen but don't want to get involved yourself you do what billions do: you pray...

True atheists face the consequences of not being able to shunt responsibility onto a deity.
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07-07-2012, 09:03 AM
RE: How to help my mother
(07-07-2012 08:03 AM)Scarlet Pimpernel Wrote:  Her problem is that she feels she needs to do something – or she would not have posted her OP – but she at the same time doesn't want contact if she can avoid it. I haven't heard free (video) Skype, FaceTime, ooVoo, Tango, Viber, etc. etc., or similar, mentioned either for instance.

The classic case of wanting your cake and eating it. I.o.w. a Mission Impossible. Something's got to give.

So if you want something to happen but don't want to get involved yourself you do what billions do: you pray...

True atheists face the consequences of not being able to shunt responsibility onto a deity.


That's not what I heard, I heard she wants to go but can't afford to.

My mom wouldn't have touched a computer if her life depended on it, even though there was one in her house...But maybe hers will and there you have given something that could be constructive...

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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07-07-2012, 09:25 AM
RE: How to help my mother
Her mother sends emails. So apparently she has access to a computer and the internet, and the willingness to use it.
Via internet you can email for free, chat for free, VoIP for free, VoIPvideo for free, and probably a half dozen other methods. For free.

If both parties have a smartphone they can also use VoIP, VoIPvideo, chat, and email for free. Even SMS for free (with the free app MySMS).

But both parties obviously need to want to establish that contact.
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07-07-2012, 11:03 AM (This post was last modified: 07-07-2012 11:45 AM by Leela.)
RE: How to help my mother
Put your rant somewhere else Scarlet, gonna ignore you now

-------------------------

Now this is for the rest of you guys, because there are a lot of you who I like. And I don't want that you (those I like) think I am an arse.
My mother will have internet until her boyfriend's credit runs out. From that point on there will be no more emails. she has no cam, and right now she is rarely at home (either at the hospital or at other people's places, as I told her to do that)
I do want lose contact with her, and right now, as she is my good friend (yes, just that - and this has it's reasons that I will not spread here) I want to help as well as I can from the distance.
I can not *at all* afford to go there, or my hubby and I will lose our home and have to stop eating. If I had the money, I would now buy a ticket and go there, I just can't.

Update as well: I was at town and bought her some nice things, which I will post to her as soon as the post is open again (monday). I also wrote her another email, like I am doing dayly right now, while normally it is one email per week. She was pretty sad and scared she might lose her friends if she talks to them. I told her that her friends are not only there for the good times but also to carry her through the tough times. She told me what decisions she wants to make once she gets authority by a judge and I told her that she will for sure make the best decisions because she loves him so much.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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07-07-2012, 11:51 AM
RE: How to help my mother
(07-07-2012 08:03 AM)Scarlet Pimpernel Wrote:  True atheists face the consequences of not being able to shunt responsibility onto a deity.


Uh. Tell me exactly what the fuck this has to do with this thread. No. Don't bother.

This thread has nothing to do with faith or lack thereof.

This thread is about a person in this community requesting practical ideas about a very human issue.

True Atheist?

Tell me as truthfully as you can where you shoved your empathy and compassion. If you can not, I might suggest where you can look.

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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07-07-2012, 03:38 PM
RE: How to help my mother
(07-07-2012 11:51 AM)kim Wrote:  
(07-07-2012 08:03 AM)Scarlet Pimpernel Wrote:  True atheists face the consequences of not being able to shunt responsibility onto a deity.


Uh. Tell me exactly what the fuck this has to do with this thread. No. Don't bother.

This thread has nothing to do with faith or lack thereof.

This thread is about a person in this community requesting practical ideas about a very human issue.

True Atheist?

Tell me as truthfully as you can where you shoved your empathy and compassion. If you can not, I might suggest where you can look.

Huh? Make up your mind! Do you or don't you want me to tell you? You're sending very confused signals. I'm guessing you don't, but only want to make some noise.
Relieved now?
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