How to make new friends
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01-11-2016, 09:55 AM
How to make new friends
So my girlfriend and I are shopping for new friends, but it is really difficult. Here is what we are looking for:
  • A couple - we would prefer another couple (gay/straight/pan/whatever/doesn't matter) that we can hang out with together. A small group would be ok, but would prefer the dynamic of another couple. We have a few single friends. She has a few cool girl friends but their SOs are turds and I have a few cool guy friends but their wives are turds. We really want a couple that we can hang out with together.
  • Must enjoy a few drinks - we enjoy craft beer and good wine and would like to be able to share that with our friends.
  • Prefer atheist/non-religious - I am so sick of people praying for us, giving us spiritual advice, or trying to get us to join their small group bible study (because, they say, we will love it and all the people are couples our age and they do lots of fun stuff - bleh). On the flip side, I don't really want to sit around and bash religious people either. I'd rather be able to just have fun and be able to pretend religion doesn't even exist.
  • Open-minded - Must be ok with atheists, tattoos, BDSM relationships, drinking, vaping, cussing, our gay friends, her boudoir photography business, and whatever the fuck else we feel like doing or not doing. I am so tired of judgement. You don't have to be in to it, just don't knock me if I am.
  • Must be reasonably intelligent - genius is not required, but the ability to speak in complete, coherent, mostly grammatically correct sentences is preferred.
  • No drugs - We can't do drugs and would rather our friends not do them in our presence. We don't care if you smoke a joint or whatever, but our employers do random drug tests and we can't test positive for cannabis because of second-hand smoke.
  • No Trump Supporters - If you are voting for Trump, we probably can't be friends.

The difficulty is that we live in Alabama and work full-time jobs at conservative companies. It is very difficult to find friends that meet these criteria. Are we asking for too much???

We are going to a local freethinkers meetup this week, maybe we will meet some cool people there. Beyond that, I need some advice on how to go about meeting other like-minded couples with which to hang out.

Any suggestions?

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
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01-11-2016, 10:14 AM
RE: How to make new friends
Meetup.com might be a good start. Also, signing up for classes with things you and your angel are interested in doing would also be a good way to meet some like-minded people. What about any atheist groups nearby?
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01-11-2016, 10:40 AM
RE: How to make new friends
We do get out and do fun things, and we've met some interesting people along the way, they just always seem to be from out of town or they end up inviting us to church or something.

There are a few active atheist meetup groups. However, most of the local atheist meetups are centered around discussion topics of particular interest to atheists/humanists. Honestly, we are looking for people to just have a good time with. However, I supposed we could attend these guided discussion meets in the hopes of hitting it off with some other couples that we could be friends with. Between our wacky schedules, we have a hard time finding one of these that we are able to attend, but we intend to be at the next one that works for us.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
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01-11-2016, 10:50 AM
RE: How to make new friends
(01-11-2016 09:55 AM)TurkeyBurner Wrote:  So my girlfriend and I are shopping for new friends


I recommend waiting for Black Friday, can probably get them at a cheaper price.



Jokes aside local events and meet-ups seem like a good start. Maybe host a party or something. Get a bunch of the locals in and scout them out.

"If you keep trying to better yourself that's enough for me. We don't decide which hand we are dealt in life, but we make the decision to play it or fold it" - Nishi Karano Kaze
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01-11-2016, 11:33 AM
RE: How to make new friends
(01-11-2016 09:55 AM)TurkeyBurner Wrote:  So my girlfriend and I are shopping for new friends, but it is really difficult. Here is what we are looking for:
  • A couple - we would prefer another couple (gay/straight/pan/whatever/doesn't matter) that we can hang out with together. A small group would be ok, but would prefer the dynamic of another couple. We have a few single friends. She has a few cool girl friends but their SOs are turds and I have a few cool guy friends but their wives are turds. We really want a couple that we can hang out with together.
  • Must enjoy a few drinks - we enjoy craft beer and good wine and would like to be able to share that with our friends.
  • Prefer atheist/non-religious - I am so sick of people praying for us, giving us spiritual advice, or trying to get us to join their small group bible study (because, they say, we will love it and all the people are couples our age and they do lots of fun stuff - bleh). On the flip side, I don't really want to sit around and bash religious people either. I'd rather be able to just have fun and be able to pretend religion doesn't even exist.
  • Open-minded - Must be ok with atheists, tattoos, BDSM relationships, drinking, vaping, cussing, our gay friends, her boudoir photography business, and whatever the fuck else we feel like doing or not doing. I am so tired of judgement. You don't have to be in to it, just don't knock me if I am.
  • Must be reasonably intelligent - genius is not required, but the ability to speak in complete, coherent, mostly grammatically correct sentences is preferred.
  • No drugs - We can't do drugs and would rather our friends not do them in our presence. We don't care if you smoke a joint or whatever, but our employers do random drug tests and we can't test positive for cannabis because of second-hand smoke.
  • No Trump Supporters - If you are voting for Trump, we probably can't be friends.

The difficulty is that we live in Alabama and work full-time jobs at conservative companies. It is very difficult to find friends that meet these criteria. Are we asking for too much???

We are going to a local freethinkers meetup this week, maybe we will meet some cool people there. Beyond that, I need some advice on how to go about meeting other like-minded couples with which to hang out.

Any suggestions?

Yeahhhhh--no. Friendship doesn't exactly work that. Drinking Beverage

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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01-11-2016, 11:38 AM
RE: How to make new friends
I don't recommend making new friends.

It never works out.


signed

Victor Frankenstein
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01-11-2016, 11:43 AM
RE: How to make new friends
I make new friends by taking the pieces left over from the old ones and doing a mashup. Drinking Beverage
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01-11-2016, 02:54 PM
RE: How to make new friends
I was considering doing the same kind of post since I'm in the exact same situation : I'm looking for friends in my area (I recently moved to a different country).

Have you considered taking classes of something both your girlfriend and you have an interest in ? That's what I'm doing at the moment (I didn't have much choice actually since it's necessary for me to learn a new language), but I find it an easy way to meet new people. Also, if there are enough persons in the class, you are more likely to find some people with whom you have more affinity and make new friends.

That being said, I don't know if this is going to work for me as I would really like my new friends to be atheist, and I have no idea if there are activities or other classes to take where there will be a good proportion of atheists.
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01-11-2016, 03:05 PM
RE: How to make new friends
(01-11-2016 02:54 PM)Sturm Wrote:  I was considering doing the same kind of post since I'm in the exact same situation : I'm looking for friends in my area (I recently moved to a different country).

Have you considered taking classes of something both your girlfriend and you have an interest in ? That's what I'm doing at the moment (I didn't have much choice actually since it's necessary for me to learn a new language), but I find it an easy way to meet new people. Also, if there are enough persons in the class, you are more likely to find some people with whom you have more affinity and make new friends.

That being said, I don't know if this is going to work for me as I would really like my new friends to be atheist, and I have no idea if there are activities or other classes to take where there will be a good proportion of atheists.

That's what I was going to recommend - classes.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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02-11-2016, 01:08 PM (This post was last modified: 02-11-2016 01:12 PM by TurkeyBurner.)
RE: How to make new friends
(01-11-2016 03:05 PM)Dom Wrote:  
(01-11-2016 02:54 PM)Sturm Wrote:  I was considering doing the same kind of post since I'm in the exact same situation : I'm looking for friends in my area (I recently moved to a different country).

Have you considered taking classes of something both your girlfriend and you have an interest in ? That's what I'm doing at the moment (I didn't have much choice actually since it's necessary for me to learn a new language), but I find it an easy way to meet new people. Also, if there are enough persons in the class, you are more likely to find some people with whom you have more affinity and make new friends.

That being said, I don't know if this is going to work for me as I would really like my new friends to be atheist, and I have no idea if there are activities or other classes to take where there will be a good proportion of atheists.

That's what I was going to recommend - classes.

We are going to do some ballroom/swing dance classes soon. I guess this is really just more of a vent than anything, but... It's just that here in Alabama, the vast majority of the population holds some form of christian belief and unless you are taking part in activities that would have a tendency to filter out the christians, you always end up with people inviting you to church. Then when you decline, they ask where you attend and then you either have to lie or tell the truth. And if you tell the truth, then you get prayed for or argued with or dismissed as one of "those people".

(01-11-2016 11:33 AM)Old Man Marsh Wrote:  Friendship doesn't exactly work that.

Yeah, I know, we don't want to just crash an atheist meetup or something to go friend hunting. I was just being funny about the whole "shopping for new friends" thing since I know friendships tend to just happen and can't really be forced.

We have some good friends, couples even, but our couples friends are mostly shallow friendships because the fear of judgement keeps us very reserved and/or they are very religious. Conversations just regularly get so dumb and you can never ask for advice or discuss challenges you are facing because then you go off down the "just put it all on god", or "have you prayed about it?", or "god is trying to bring you back to him", jebus, jebus, church, pray path. I just don't enjoy having those discussions with my friends. It almost always either ends up with me having to listen to their f*cking rants or us parting with heated words. Any other subject we can agree to disagree, but when it comes to jebus (and any serious conversation always comes back around to jebus) there is no middle ground.

We are both social people and we want to share our lives with some friends. We just want another couple we can relax truly relax around and attend some fun things with. Is it too much to ask for a reasonably intelligent couple that is non-judgmental and shares an interest or two with us? Why is that so hard to find? If it weren't for my kids, we would have already moved away somewhere where the probability of bumping into people more like us is much higher than in this backward state.

Sorry! Rant over

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
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