How to respond....
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14-11-2012, 03:43 AM (This post was last modified: 14-11-2012 03:51 AM by riseinside.)
How to respond....
Awhile back I noticed a friend, who happens to be very religious, had made a status update on FB about taking her child out of public schools due to their child being bullied. I liked the status. Then I read the comments. Not surprisingly they went on to say bullying is so common because god has been taken out of our public schools. I passed over this. Then somebody said that atheists were not capable of having real morale system. I was told that there was nothing keeping me from marrying a 9 year old, murdering my neighbor or just causing complete chaos without some sort of morale standard. This I commented on. I let them know that as an atheist I was offended by this comment. After a few back and forth comments I decided to walk away from the conversation.


Anyway.....today I get this message on FB. Not sure how to respond.

"I know your life is none of my business and at anytime you wish for me to say nothing more to you I will respect that, but my heart has been heavy for you and I wanted to let you know I have been praying for you. I do not know where your real hurt is but God does and although you have pushed Him away He still loves you, a love I am sure that was prayed for by your grandfather and other members of your family. A love that I am sure some are still petitioning God to open your eyes to. I cannot imagine the hurt that I will go through if one of my own children chooses to turn their backs on the truth of Gods love and perhaps that is why my heart is heavy for you and those who truly love you. If you truly had Christ in your heart back when you “believed” I pray that you will open your heart to his truth once again and KNOW without a doubt that He is who He says He is. I wish I knew how to give you encouragement that would be the miracle answer to your questions, questions that maybe you have not even dared to really ask yourself or allow yourself to seek answers for, but I do not all I can do is continue my prayers for you and hope to someday see you in heaven where you can introduce me to your Grandpa who is now living without pain or suffering.

I hope you are not offended or bothered by my sharing this burden I feel for you, but I will feel better having put it out there. I once had an ex-coworker that I kept feeling like I should get in touch with and I did not listen to that nagging voice, when I finally did get brave enough to try to make contact I found out he had passed away the victim of a drunk driver, the accident was right around the time frame I was feeling compelled to contact him and didn’t. I do not know what difference that would have made if any, but I regretted not following the prompting and so now I try to follow through with such things even if people will think I am weird or whatever. I hope things are good in your life and if you ever have any questions or need to talk to someone about “religious” things you will know I will do my best to help you find answers. "


I have no problem with people praying for me. I know my mother is and I am sure various other friends are as well. It does no harm IMO. But I feel this goes a few steps further than that.


First off I get tired of being talked to like I just lost my way or I have some deep hatred for god and that is why I have become an atheist. I grew up in church and while I did have some horrible experiences my reason for walking away was due to the lack of evidence. Having faith in something that did not pass the test just did not make sense for me. I am also more knowledgeable than most of these christians who preach to me.

And then she brings up my grandfather. Who died of cancer after being diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

Do I respond or bite my tongue? If I should respond what do I say? Should I even be offended?
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14-11-2012, 06:14 AM
RE: How to respond....
Really wanted to suggest something useful, but couldn't make it past the first couple of sentences of the message you got.

If anyone had the effrontery to send me this type of crap, I'd quote their very first sentence and say 'you're right, my life is none of your GODDAM business" (making sure goddam is in bold and all caps, just to annoy this holier-than-thou, idiotic ass). Depending on hwo annoyed I was feeling at the moment of reading it, I might go into further detail, but most probably would just ignore the idiot, life is too short and sucks too much to waste time on crap like this.

And the grandpa bit is ludicrous. Actually, I think this person might very well have an IQ of about 90, so it'd be like beating a dead horse.

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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14-11-2012, 06:28 AM
RE: How to respond....
You can always just thank her for her concern & calmly state your view. Go further if you're in a debate mood, but be prepared for increased intensity in her responses. She's offered to mind her own beeswax--claim it, if that's what you want. You can say as much without being an ass about it.

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14-11-2012, 06:34 AM
RE: How to respond....
Jesus Christ, some people are just so retarded it hurts my brainz. I wonder how does he remember to breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out?

You should tell him to suck you big black dick and get the fuck away from you. That will stop him. Big Grin

When people start treating atheists like this, I have a huge urge to become the person they want. You say I am immoral person that can kill a man without remorse, marry a 9 year old, beat you senseless? OK, then come here, let me educate you with my fists and knife. Fucking retards. I so fucking get annoyed when people are this retarded. I just can not believe that anyone can be this retarded. FUCK YOU ALL!!! Go jump off the cliff and save the oxygen, you dumb fucking shit, you parasite, you slimy human scum!

There, put this on FB, no one will ever bother you with retarded and annoying idiotic messages.

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14-11-2012, 08:00 AM
RE: How to respond....
Appreciate the feedback.

I just hate being viewed as a project. There is nothing wrong with me. I am not on the wrong path. My decision to become an atheist was based on viewing the evidence and realizing faith in god did not make sense.

The idea that you could view somebody as broken and facing eternal torture for not believing the same way you do is beyond anything I can comprehend. Even my mother. As supportive as she has been I know that deep down she hopes that I find god and feels that if I don't I am going to hell. She won't admit it but I can sense it. I could never be part of anything with that belief system.
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14-11-2012, 08:21 AM
RE: How to respond....
If this is a "first offense", as it were, I think a mild response is in order. I'd probably go with something like this:

"While I understand that you wrote your note out of concern for me, I would appreciate it if you would not bring up this topic again. If you can imagine how you would feel about receiving a similar note from a Muslim, exhorting you to 'open your heart to Allah', you will probably have a good idea how I felt when receiving your note as well. And if you can imagine how likely it would be for that Muslim to convert you, you will also have a pretty good idea how likely you are to convert me to your religion as well. Please refrain in the future... thanks."

If he persists after this, you can think about getting harsher.
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14-11-2012, 09:11 AM
RE: How to respond....
(14-11-2012 08:21 AM)pianodwarf Wrote:  If this is a "first offense", as it were, I think a mild response is in order. I'd probably go with something like this:

"While I understand that you wrote your note out of concern for me, I would appreciate it if you would not bring up this topic again. If you can imagine how you would feel about receiving a similar note from a Muslim, exhorting you to 'open your heart to Allah', you will probably have a good idea how I felt when receiving your note as well. And if you can imagine how likely it would be for that Muslim to convert you, you will also have a pretty good idea how likely you are to convert me to your religion as well. Please refrain in the future... thanks."

If he persists after this, you can think about getting harsher.
Best advice. Right here.

Very well said.

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14-11-2012, 10:53 AM
RE: How to respond....
When I was a believer one of my closest friends became an Atheist, I remember writing her almost the exact same words you received, she was kind enough although to put up with me and continued for months debating her views, at the time it was difficult for me and I remember trying to save her soul from "Hell" I was living in a bubble extremely naive and with her help my eyes were slowly opened just a little.....that was years ago and It just recently became clear to me what she had gone through and how ignorant I had been to her.
I'm not suggesting you be sweet and put up with her shit, you deserve respect for who you are! Religious fanatics have no clue what the hell they are saying and how it hurts or offends others, and I was one of them.

If no change in reality can change your belief - Then your belief is not based on anything in reality
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14-11-2012, 11:03 AM
RE: How to respond....
Now that I'm not in the state I was in when I wrote my first answer (nothing to do with the post), I think it really depends on how good a friend this is.

If it's a good friend, you should probably ignore it and/or not start a debate. Or you could tell her that you appreciate the thought, but you'd rather she stopped sending you stuff like this.

If it's just an acquaintance - I stand by my first reaction. How would she like it if you were to send her stuff, telling her that you're constantly hoping that one day she'll see the light of reason?

It annoys me to no end how religious people scream bloody murder at the mere whiff of a (perceived) disrespect of their self-delusions, but they rarely respect our beliefs (or lack of belief or however they might want to call it). If I were the greatest nihilist that ever lived, my lack of belief in anything would deserve as much respect as the delusions of the most hardcore religionist.

Of course, this raises the question of what (if any) respect is owed to beliefs. I myself, totally side with Rowan Atkinson on that one.

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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14-11-2012, 11:25 AM
RE: How to respond....
I agree with Vera.
You could just answer: "Yes, my life is none of your business."
Especially if you don't even know that person.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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