How to tell if you're in a ....... novel
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05-05-2015, 01:20 PM (This post was last modified: 05-05-2015 01:45 PM by Vera.)
RE: How to tell if you're in a ....... novel
Shakespearean tragedy

"Everyone is terrible. If they be not bad, they be mad. Or dead."

"Alas, how troubled thy marriage bed! Thinkst ‘twill improve? Too late! Thou art dead."

"Thou seest thy foe, and more dances thy rapt heart than when thou first thy wedded mistress saw bestride thy threshold." (I don’t care that this isn’t what the author meant, I’m totally adding “bestriding thy threshold” to my (embarrassingly large) list of sexual euphemisms Rolleyes )

"Think not on what men say of thee behind thy back. Beware of the daggers behind thee, though."

"Thou hast thy family much offended. In return, thy family causes thy death."

"Someone has impaled themselves on a sword. Oddly enough, this is not a dick joke."

"Who art thou kidding? That was totally a dick joke."

"Thy friend demands of thee, “What hast thou done?” I’faith, thou canst respond, “Thy mother.”" (The only good yo, mamma joke. Ever!))

"Thou hast been attacked by the landscape!"

"Thy friend’s newly mad child has sung a hey-nonny-nonny full of horrifying implications."

"Thy friend is dead."

"Thy mother is dead."

"Thy father is dead."

"I’faith, everyone thou knowest is dead."

"Thou art dead. Thy death was probably easily avoidable."


Old women have prophesied against thee.

Thou talk’st to thyself of murder. Often. Thou dost not even attempt to hide this.

Thy friend has been horribly mutilated.

Thy fool is remarkably faithful.

Thou must avenge a death.

Thou hast seen a ghost! (But only college-educated men may speak to it.)

“Thinkest thou we shall ever meet again?” asks thy love, upon thy parting. (The answer to her question? “Ha ha, no.”)

Thou hast thy family much offended. In return, thy family causes thy death.

Thou knowest at least two people murdered this eve.

Thy husband doubts thy fidelity.

The only more common crime than poisonings are regicides.

Thou hast had a prophetic dream.

Though in a grave profession, thou hast such wit, disguised princes seeking revenge cannot help but stop to banter with thee.

Thou seest thy foe, and more dances thy rapt heart than when thou first thy wedded mistress saw bestride thy threshold.

Thy friend demands of thee, “What hast thou done?” I’faith, thou canst respond, “Thy mother.”

Everyone is terrible. If they be not bad, they be mad. Or dead.

Thy friend’s newly mad child has sung a hey-nonny-nonny full of horrifying implications.

Equivocators are we all — save for children, fools, and madmen. They are remarkably on point.

Alas, how troubled thy marriage bed! Thinkst ‘twill improve? Too late! Thou art dead.

Regicide makes any marriage stronger.

Thou hast eaten thy children. Literally.

Thy impulsiveness has led thee to murder nearly everyone thou knowest.

Thou hast trouble with thy garments or thy personal hygiene habits.

Thou hast been attacked by pirates.

Thou hast not received a letter of great import.

Thou art consumed with thoughts of thy own death.

Thou hast been attacked by the landscape!

Thou takest political advice from strangers in moors.

Thou hast murdered thy wife’s previous husband. She’s fine with this.

Think not on what men say of thee behind thy back. Beware of the daggers behind thee, though.

What warlike noise is this? A subplot thou hast completely forgotten about.

Someone has impaled themselves on a sword. Oddly enough, this is not a dick joke.

Who art thou kidding? That was totally a dick joke.

Thy friend is dead.

Thy mother is dead.

Thy father is dead.

I’faith, everyone thou knowest is dead.

Thou art dead. Thy death was probably easily avoidable.

And for all those “What movie/book/series character are you, you self-involved, solipsistic prat” - you are NOT a unique, special snowflake. Deal with it. Dodgy

You are not Elizabeth Bennet. Christ. That’s the only reason you clicked on this, isn’t it? You misunderstand yourself entirely. You have never been Elizabeth Bennet. No one in your entire acquaintanceship – in your entire life – has for even one second considered you to be the Elizabeth Bennet of your social circle. No one thinks of you at all.

You think that because reading Jane Austen makes you feel understood that she would have approved of or even liked you; nothing could be further from the truth. You are not playfully impertinent, you are coarse and often intentionally cruel. You say unkind things about friends who are not there to defend themselves and pretend you do not mean it; worse, you say kind things about people who are there to think well of you and you do not mean that either.

No one has ever called you “plucky” and no one will ever silently admire your good qualities while you play the piano. You should have been shot into the vacuum of space on your thirteenth birthday.

Perhaps you are silently congratulating yourself for setting your sights on a less obvious target. Stop it now. “I’m really more of an Elinor, or even a Fanny –” No. You aren’t. You are not even a third as reserved as you think you are, you have never suffered in silence, and what you consider to be “good earthy common sense” is in fact garden-variety self-absorption. You think of yourself as being practical and restrained because you are incapable of admitting you have ever behaved selfishly. Your nature is not passionate, it is self-indulgent. You are barely Caroline Bingley, and Jane Austen would have shot you with a handgun after ten minutes of playing whist together.

My God, I hate you. You barely deserve to be set on fire.

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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05-05-2015, 01:40 PM
RE: How to tell if you're in a ....... novel
How to tell if you're in a Douglas Adams novel --

1. You always know where your towel is.

2. You wake up screaming each morning in a smelly cave.

3. Tall green aliens show up every once in a while to insult you.

4. You know how to make the universe's best drink - a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

5. You actually drink them, and survive.

6. You're favorite sandwich has bits of Perfectly Normal Beast in it.

7. You really just want a cup of tea.

8. You've only killed one sentient being - but you've done it thousands of times. He's pissed.

9. You know where the dolphins went, and why.

10. 42 is your favorite number.

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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09-06-2015, 08:49 AM
RE: How to tell if you're in a ....... novel
Dostoyevsky (there's a Turkish soap-opera based on The Brothers Karamazov and it's on TV down where I hail from right now [Image: huh2.gif] )

"You bear a deep, expansive love for all of mankind, except for merchants, Jesuits, and Jews." - sounds about right, the chauvinist SOB. Oh, except for that love part, that is. Dodgy

"You love a prostitute with your whole heart but you respect her too much to touch her, talk to her, or learn her name."

"You are in love with an earnest, loyal young man who adores you, so you’ve decided to marry a dissolute cad you despise in order to teach yourself a lesson."


"At least once each day you stop in a stairwell to clutch the banister and cry out, “My god, how loathsome it all is!”" - don't we all? Rolleyes

You love a prostitute with your whole heart but you respect her too much to touch her, talk to her, or learn her name.

You are in love with an earnest, loyal young man who adores you, so you’ve decided to marry a dissolute cad you despise in order to teach yourself a lesson.

You’ve been sitting in this tavern for hours hoping no one notices your clothes are covered in blood.

You are crippled by gambling debts, but that hasn’t stopped you from spending every penny you have buying brandy for itinerant musicians.

Every night Pontius Pilate berates you in a dream.

You dream of a contemplative life in a monastery, but first you just have to talk some sense into this violent, impoverished stranger you met on a footbridge.

Your feelings about peasants are warm, passionate, and a little condescending.

You’ve been standing in the snow on Nevsky Prospect for hours now, just waiting to say something really cutting to a bureaucrat.

At least once each day you stop in a stairwell to clutch the banister and cry out, “My god, how loathsome it all is!”

You have committed a grave crime and you are being sent to Siberia.

You have committed no crime and you are being sent to Siberia.

You live in abject poverty, but abstract moral principles prevent you from spending the large sum of money you have hidden underneath your floorboards.

You appear extremely agitated.

You’d gladly lecture an illiterate carriage driver about Schiller.

You are offered a place at university but you don’t show up because you are too ashamed of your boots.

Right now you’re busy getting dressed for a dinner party to which you were pointedly not invited.

An army captain has insulted you and so you will drink yourself to death to have revenge on him.

You sleep feverishly or not at all.

All of your happiest childhood memories include your mother convulsively crying.

You’ve often laughed out of indifference, contempt, or spite, but not once out of joy.

You are a beautiful young woman with flashing eyes about to send your lover a terrible letter.

You have thrown yourself at the feet of a dishonorable young cadet in order to save your little sister from consumption.

Absolutely everything in your life depends upon you boarding a train to Odessa, but it looks like you’re not getting on that train.

You have been run over by a coach and are suffering massive internal injuries. You plan to treat the injuries with nothing but a rag soaked in vinegar and water.

You bear a deep, expansive love for all of mankind, except for merchants, Jesuits, and Jews.

You’d murder your father without blinking an eye, but you’re moved to tears by the sight of a peasant boy kicking a horse.

You’ve became so worried about The Great Schism that you’ve developed brain fever.

God is dead and everything is permitted.

[Image: literature-leo_tolstoy-fyodor_dostoevsky...15_low.jpg]

[Image: tumblr_ne6bnuhbNv1txhseao1_500.png]

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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09-06-2015, 03:46 PM
RE: How to tell if you're in a ....... novel
Your second cartoon reminded me of this:

The 30 Harshest Author-on-Author Insults In History

30. Gustave Flaubert on George Sand

“A great cow full of ink.”

29. Robert Louis Stevenson on Walt Whitman

“…like a large shaggy dog just unchained scouring the beaches of the world and baying at the moon.”

28. Friedrich Nietzsche on Dante Alighieri

“A hyena that wrote poetry on tombs.”

the rest

27. Harold Bloom on J.K. Rowling (2000)

“How to read ‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone’? Why, very quickly, to begin with, and perhaps also to make an end. Why read it? Presumably, if you cannot be persuaded to read anything better, Rowling will have to do.”

26. Vladimir Nabokov on Fyodor Dostoevsky

“Dostoevky’s lack of taste, his monotonous dealings with persons suffering with pre-Freudian complexes, the way he has of wallowing in the tragic misadventures of human dignity — all this is difficult to admire.”

25. Gertrude Stein on Ezra Pound

“A village explainer. Excellent if you were a village, but if you were not, not.”

24. Virginia Woolf on Aldous Huxley

“All raw, uncooked, protesting.”

23. H. G. Wells on George Bernard Shaw

“An idiot child screaming in a hospital.”

22. Joseph Conrad on D.H. Lawrence

“Filth. Nothing but obscenities.”

21. Lord Byron on John Keats (1820)

“Here are Johnny Keats’ piss-a-bed poetry, and three novels by God knows whom… No more Keats, I entreat: flay him alive; if some of you don’t I must skin him myself: there is no bearing the drivelling idiotism of the Mankin.”

20. Vladimir Nabokov on Joseph Conrad

“I cannot abide Conrad’s souvenir shop style and bottled ships and shell necklaces of romanticist cliches.”

19. Dylan Thomas on Rudyard Kipling

“Mr Kipling … stands for everything in this cankered world which I would wish were otherwise.”

18. Ralph Waldo Emerson on Jane Austen

“Miss Austen’s novels . . . seem to me vulgar in tone, sterile in artistic invention, imprisoned in the wretched conventions of English society, without genius, wit, or knowledge of the world. Never was life so pinched and narrow. The one problem in the mind of the writer . . . is marriageableness.”

17. Martin Amis on Miguel Cervantes

“Reading Don Quixote can be compared to an indefinite visit from your most impossible senior relative, with all his pranks, dirty habits, unstoppable reminiscences, and terrible cronies. When the experience is over, and the old boy checks out at last (on page 846 — the prose wedged tight, with no breaks for dialogue), you will shed tears all right; not tears of relief or regret but tears of pride. You made it, despite all that ‘Don Quixote’ could do.”

16. Charles Baudelaire on Voltaire (1864)

“I grow bored in France — and the main reason is that everybody here resembles Voltaire…the king of nincompoops, the prince of the superficial, the anti-artist, the spokesman of janitresses, the Father Gigone of the editors of Siecle.”

15. William Faulkner on Ernest Hemingway

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”

14. Ernest Hemingway on William Faulkner

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”

13. Gore Vidal on Truman Capote

“He’s a full-fledged housewife from Kansas with all the prejudices.”

12. Oscar Wilde on Alexander Pope

“There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.”

11. Vladimir Nabokov on Ernest Hemingway (1972)

“As to Hemingway, I read him for the first time in the early ‘forties, something about bells, balls and bulls, and loathed it.”

10. Henry James on Edgar Allan Poe (1876)

“An enthusiasm for Poe is the mark of a decidedly primitive stage of reflection.”

9. Truman Capote on Jack Kerouac

“That’s not writing, that’s typing.”

8. Elizabeth Bishop on J.D. Salinger

“I HATED [Catcher in the Rye]. It took me days to go through it, gingerly, a page at a time, and blushing with embarrassment for him every ridiculous sentence of the way. How can they let him do it?”

7. D.H. Lawrence on Herman Melville (1923)

“Nobody can be more clownish, more clumsy and sententiously in bad taste, than Herman Melville, even in a great book like ‘Moby Dick’….One wearies of the grand serieux. There’s something false about it. And that’s Melville. Oh dear, when the solemn ass brays! brays! brays!”

6. W. H. Auden on Robert Browning

“I don’t think Robert Browning was very good in bed. His wife probably didn’t care for him very much. He snored and had fantasies about twelve-year-old girls.”

5. Evelyn Waugh on Marcel Proust (1948)

“I am reading Proust for the first time. Very poor stuff. I think he was mentally defective.”

4. Mark Twain on Jane Austen (1898)

“I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can’t conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read ‘Pride and Prejudice,’ I want to dig her up and hit her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”

3. Virginia Woolf on James Joyce

“[Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.”

2. William Faulkner on Mark Twain (1922)

“A hack writer who would not have been considered fourth rate in Europe, who tricked out a few of the old proven sure fire literary skeletons with sufficient local color to intrigue the superficial and the lazy.”

1. D.H. Lawrence on James Joyce (1928)

“My God, what a clumsy olla putrida James Joyce is! Nothing but old fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest stewed in the juice of deliberate, journalistic dirty-mindedness.”

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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09-06-2015, 04:43 PM
RE: How to tell if you're in a ....... novel
Never get on the bad side of a good writer.
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09-06-2015, 04:49 PM
RE: How to tell if you're in a ....... novel
Reading the multiple Nabokov quotes ripping other writers on there makes me want to dig up the articles Hitchens wrote which blasted and critiqued him harshly as well.

"Allow there to be a spectrum in all that you see" - Neil Degrasse Tyson
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10-06-2015, 07:03 AM
RE: How to tell if you're in a ....... novel
(09-06-2015 03:46 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  Your second cartoon reminded me of this:
The 30 Harshest Author-on-Author Insults In History

That's nothing compared to what I call my vapid hackettes (though that can only be shared in a 21+ section. Barely!) [Image: smiley-angry039.gif]

Some of those are great and others are just us crappy as the crappy "writers" that spewed them forth.

Reminded me of the insults of some composers I stumbled across a while back (and promptly discovered you can create beautiful music and still be a major dickhead. As if we didn't have enough talentless dickheads Sadcryface ). Am still reeling from Tchaikovsky's "opinion" of Handel (that is, I would if I cared much for Tchaikovsky). Says more about him and his "talent" than it does about Handel but still. This however is spot-on: "Wagner has beautiful moments, but awful quarters of an hour." Rossini on Wagner

http://www.classicfm.com/discover/music/...r-insults/

And then there are the conductors, though they are supposed to have huge egos on them, so that doesn't come as much of a surprise. Plus this one is pure gold: "He tried Debussy's La Mer once. It came out as Das Merde." [Image: 1sm016Giggle.gif]

http://www.classicfm.com/discover/music/...ell-quote/

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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10-06-2015, 08:32 AM
RE: How to tell if you're in a ....... novel
(09-06-2015 03:46 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  Your second cartoon reminded me of this:

The 30 Harshest Author-on-Author Insults In History

30. Gustave Flaubert on George Sand

“A great cow full of ink.”

29. Robert Louis Stevenson on Walt Whitman

“…like a large shaggy dog just unchained scouring the beaches of the world and baying at the moon.”

28. Friedrich Nietzsche on Dante Alighieri

“A hyena that wrote poetry on tombs.”

the rest

27. Harold Bloom on J.K. Rowling (2000)

“How to read ‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone’? Why, very quickly, to begin with, and perhaps also to make an end. Why read it? Presumably, if you cannot be persuaded to read anything better, Rowling will have to do.”

26. Vladimir Nabokov on Fyodor Dostoevsky

“Dostoevky’s lack of taste, his monotonous dealings with persons suffering with pre-Freudian complexes, the way he has of wallowing in the tragic misadventures of human dignity — all this is difficult to admire.”

25. Gertrude Stein on Ezra Pound

“A village explainer. Excellent if you were a village, but if you were not, not.”

24. Virginia Woolf on Aldous Huxley

“All raw, uncooked, protesting.”

23. H. G. Wells on George Bernard Shaw

“An idiot child screaming in a hospital.”

22. Joseph Conrad on D.H. Lawrence

“Filth. Nothing but obscenities.”

21. Lord Byron on John Keats (1820)

“Here are Johnny Keats’ piss-a-bed poetry, and three novels by God knows whom… No more Keats, I entreat: flay him alive; if some of you don’t I must skin him myself: there is no bearing the drivelling idiotism of the Mankin.”

20. Vladimir Nabokov on Joseph Conrad

“I cannot abide Conrad’s souvenir shop style and bottled ships and shell necklaces of romanticist cliches.”

19. Dylan Thomas on Rudyard Kipling

“Mr Kipling … stands for everything in this cankered world which I would wish were otherwise.”

18. Ralph Waldo Emerson on Jane Austen

“Miss Austen’s novels . . . seem to me vulgar in tone, sterile in artistic invention, imprisoned in the wretched conventions of English society, without genius, wit, or knowledge of the world. Never was life so pinched and narrow. The one problem in the mind of the writer . . . is marriageableness.”

17. Martin Amis on Miguel Cervantes

“Reading Don Quixote can be compared to an indefinite visit from your most impossible senior relative, with all his pranks, dirty habits, unstoppable reminiscences, and terrible cronies. When the experience is over, and the old boy checks out at last (on page 846 — the prose wedged tight, with no breaks for dialogue), you will shed tears all right; not tears of relief or regret but tears of pride. You made it, despite all that ‘Don Quixote’ could do.”

16. Charles Baudelaire on Voltaire (1864)

“I grow bored in France — and the main reason is that everybody here resembles Voltaire…the king of nincompoops, the prince of the superficial, the anti-artist, the spokesman of janitresses, the Father Gigone of the editors of Siecle.”

15. William Faulkner on Ernest Hemingway

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”

14. Ernest Hemingway on William Faulkner

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”

13. Gore Vidal on Truman Capote

“He’s a full-fledged housewife from Kansas with all the prejudices.”

12. Oscar Wilde on Alexander Pope

“There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.”

11. Vladimir Nabokov on Ernest Hemingway (1972)

“As to Hemingway, I read him for the first time in the early ‘forties, something about bells, balls and bulls, and loathed it.”

10. Henry James on Edgar Allan Poe (1876)

“An enthusiasm for Poe is the mark of a decidedly primitive stage of reflection.”

9. Truman Capote on Jack Kerouac

“That’s not writing, that’s typing.”

8. Elizabeth Bishop on J.D. Salinger

“I HATED [Catcher in the Rye]. It took me days to go through it, gingerly, a page at a time, and blushing with embarrassment for him every ridiculous sentence of the way. How can they let him do it?”

7. D.H. Lawrence on Herman Melville (1923)

“Nobody can be more clownish, more clumsy and sententiously in bad taste, than Herman Melville, even in a great book like ‘Moby Dick’….One wearies of the grand serieux. There’s something false about it. And that’s Melville. Oh dear, when the solemn ass brays! brays! brays!”

6. W. H. Auden on Robert Browning

“I don’t think Robert Browning was very good in bed. His wife probably didn’t care for him very much. He snored and had fantasies about twelve-year-old girls.”

5. Evelyn Waugh on Marcel Proust (1948)

“I am reading Proust for the first time. Very poor stuff. I think he was mentally defective.”

4. Mark Twain on Jane Austen (1898)

“I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can’t conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read ‘Pride and Prejudice,’ I want to dig her up and hit her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”

3. Virginia Woolf on James Joyce

“[Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.”

2. William Faulkner on Mark Twain (1922)

“A hack writer who would not have been considered fourth rate in Europe, who tricked out a few of the old proven sure fire literary skeletons with sufficient local color to intrigue the superficial and the lazy.”

1. D.H. Lawrence on James Joyce (1928)

“My God, what a clumsy olla putrida James Joyce is! Nothing but old fags and cabbage stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest stewed in the juice of deliberate, journalistic dirty-mindedness.”

Two of my favorites, both by Mark Twain, and both about Henry James:

"Our finest lady writer."

"Once you put it down, you simply can't pick it up again." (on one of James' books)

I think it was also Twain who said that Wagner's music "is better than it sounds."
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09-06-2016, 12:54 PM
RE: How to tell if you're in a ....... novel
The one and only (thank Zeus!) Ayn Rand (who, apparently, once cursed the schlong of a guy she was having an affair with: “If you have an ounce of morality left in you, an ounce of psychological health, you’ll be impotent for the next twenty years! And if you achieve any potency sooner, you’ll know it’s a sign of still worse moral degradation!” You honestly cannot make shit like this up! On the other hand, what an unending - even if revolting - source of entertainment she is!)

Firefly (that’s why it was cancelled betimes) and sappy songs according to her Drinking Beverage

“All of Me”

All of me
How dare you try to take all of me
Can’t you see
I exist wholly, with unbreached self-esteem, without you

My lips are mine
How can I lose myself in you? I am still myself
My arms are my arms
Romantic love is a conscious expression of philosophy

Your goodbye
Left me with eyes that cry
But then I incorporated my own well-being into my hierarchy of values and acted accordingly

You took the part
That once was my heart
Love is not self-sacrifice, it is inherently selfish and I decline utterly any concept of love that does not take personal pleasure into account

“Smoke Gets In Your Eyes”
They asked me how I knew
My true love was true
I of course replied
Truth is the recognition of reality
Reason is man’s only means of knowledge
Reason is the only standard of truth

They said, some day you’ll find
All who love are blind
When your heart’s on fire
You must realize
Smoke gets in your eyes
This is excellent,
Cigarettes represent man’s mastery over fire
When you smoke, you tame fire
You hold lightning in your hands
Howard Roark smokes cigarettes and so do I

So I chaffed them, and I gaily laughed
To think they would doubt our love
And now today, my love has gone away
I am without my love
Yet what is freedom?
To ask nothing.
To expect nothing.
To depend on nothing.
My love left me,
but he could not take myself from me
I am neither richer nor poorer without him
Contradictions do not exist.

“Someone To Watch Over Me”
There’s a saying old, says that love is blind
in fact, a person’s sexual choice
is the result and sum of their fundamental convictions
Show me the person you sleep with and I will show you your philosophy of life
and your valuation of yourself
So I’m going to go seek a certain lad
I’ve had in mind
He is my equal and I want him to crush me.

Looking everywhere,
haven’t found him yet
He’s the big affair
I cannot forget
Only man I ever think of with regret
I am in love with the concept of integrity

I’d like to add his initial to my monogram
as a free choice only, never as a sign of ownership

There’s a somebody I’m longing to see.
I hope that he turns out to be
someone whose total and abject surrender permits me to celebrate myself

I’m a little lamb who’s lost in the wood
I know I could be always be good
To someone who sees a reflection of his deepest vision of himself in me
Although he may not be the man some girls think of as handsome,
sex is an expression of self-esteem

Won’t you tell him please to put on some speed,
follow my lead,
Oh, how I need
someone who’ll respond to my highest values

“Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?”
Tonight you’re mine completely
You give your love so sweetly
Tonight the light of love is in your eyes
Will you continue pursuing your long-term goals consistently and rationally tomorrow?

Is this a lasting treasure
Or just a moment’s pleasure?
Let us integrate the events of this evening with our actions, goals and values
Into our respective frameworks
If they happen to align
So much the better for us both

Tonight with words unspoken
And you say that I’m the only one
But I am an end in myself
Also, there is no “right” to economic security

I’d like to know that your love
Is love I can be sure of
If not, I will value your honesty
Love can never be demanded, only given
I will not demand promises of tomorrow
It is more important that you remain faithful to yourself
than to me.


MAL: How come you didn’t turn on me, Jayne?
JAYNE: Money wasn’t good enough.
MAL: What happens when it is?
JAYNE: When men reduce their virtues to the approximate, then evil acquires the force of an absolute, when loyalty to an unyielding purpose is dropped by the virtuous, it’s picked up by scoundrels—and you get the indecent spectacle of a cringing, bargaining, traitorous good and a self-righteously uncompromising evil.
MAL: What?
JAYNE: As long as you treat my loyalty as if it is available for purchase, it will be.
________________________________________
ZOE: We can’t steal a shipment of medicine bound for a bunch of sick miners.
MAL: I agree. What we can do is the job we were paid to do. Would you have me rob my employer on behalf of strangers unwilling to protect their investment?
ZOE: Jesus, Mal.
MAL: Do you agree that in a free society, men deal with one another by voluntary, uncoerced exchange, by mutual consent to mutual profit, each man pursuing his own rational self-interest, none sacrificing himself or others? That all values, whether goods or services, are traded, not given away?
ZOE: I don’t think this has anything to do with whether society is free or not. It’s about –
MAL: Everything is about whether society is free or not. If I am not free to act as I choose, then society is not free. There is no society without the individual. There is no freedom without the “I.” If I am not free to disrupt this shipment of medicine for profit, I am no better than a slave. If you demand I perform a selfless act for a group of strangers who mean nothing to me, you are a threat to my freedom, and I will deal with you as such.
ZOE: You wouldn’t shoot me, Mal?
MAL: No. But I would boycott you.
ZOE: What does that mean, in this context?
MAL: I cannot answer your question. I am on strike.
[MAL sits down.]
ZOE: What are you doing?
MAL: Asserting my freedom.
________________________________________
BOOK: That young man’s very brave.
MAL: [scoffing] Yeah. He’s my hero.
BOOK: Gave up everything to free his sister from that place. Go from being a doctor on the central planets to hiding on the fringes of the system…Not many who would do that.
MAL: I am glad of that, at least. The man is an altruist, and refuses to exist for his own sake.
BOOK: You think he should have left her there to die? Or worse?
MAL: Do not hide behind such superficialities as whether you should or should not rescue your sister from torture school. That is not the issue. The issue is whether you do or do not have the right to exist without rescuing her from torture school. The issue is whether you must keep buying your life, rescue by rescue, from any sibling who might choose to approach you. The issue is whether the need of others is the first mortgage on your life and the moral purpose of your existence. The issue is whether man is to be regarded as a sacrificial animal. Any man of self-esteem will answer: “No.” Altruism says: “Yes.”
________________________________________
DOCTOR CARON: “These are just a few of the images we’ve recorded. And you can see, it wasn’t what we thought. There’s been no war here and no terraforming event. The environment is stable. It’s the Pax. The G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate that we added to the air processors. It was supposed to calm the population, weed out aggression. Well, it works. The people here stopped fighting. And then they stopped everything else. They stopped going to work, they stopped breeding, talking, eating. There’s 30 million people here, and they all just let themselves die.”
MAL: I see no difference between this planet and any other.
SIMON: Jesus, Mal, this is where Reavers came fr –
MAL: Explain to me how the strangulation of men’s respiratory systems through Paxilon is any different from the strangulation of men’s ideas through government regulation.
SIMON: I…
MAL: If one upholds freedom, one must uphold man’s individual rights; if one upholds man’s individual rights, one must uphold his right to his own life, to his own liberty, to the pursuit of his own happiness; which means: one must uphold a political system that guarantees and protects these rights; which means: the politico-economic system of capitalism. All I’m saying, is that under true capitalism, this never would have happened.
ZOE: People need to know about this.
MAL: A free mind and a free market are the same thing. What people need are unregulated trade systems. And I’m going to give it to them.

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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11-06-2016, 03:45 AM
RE: How to tell if you're in a ....... novel
You know that you are in a Chuck Palahniuk book when your arse is on fire and you put it out with a cream pie.
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