How to tell my family that I'm not keen on church anymore.
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27-02-2017, 09:08 AM
RE: How to tell my family that I'm not keen on church anymore.
Well, you've all the big obstacles in your way it sounds like: in the South? Check. Living with religious family? Check. Worried about how they will react? Check. Advice to just keep going to church from family who know your situation? Check.

Tricky situation unfortunately. I would agree with the "find your own church" idea, to a degree. I think it could put you in an awkward spot if you aren't careful. And by awkward spot, I mean that it might back you into a corner to either lie to your family or spill the beans if they directly confront you about it. Especially if they were to decide that they wanted to go with you to your new church. What I would probably say to them is: "I am trying to figure out what I believe and how. So I think it might be a better idea for me to pursue my religious opinions and beliefs on my own for a while." And if they ask what that means you'll be doing on Sunday mornings, tell them it means going on hikes and thinking, or going to the library and reading. Tell them your church is now a lake on a Sunday morning where you catch blue gill. Thumbsup

They may not react positively to you telling them you're not going to keep going to church, but maybe frame it as not only being something beneficial for you, but tell them that church is what turned you off from church (that would be true for me at least). Tell them it is church in a general sense you've begun to have a problem with, and you want to try something new.

Being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets
-Rick
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27-02-2017, 09:35 AM (This post was last modified: 27-02-2017 09:44 AM by jennybee.)
RE: How to tell my family that I'm not keen on church anymore.
If your father is helping to pay for your college education, I would wait until I finished my degree (if you think he might stop paying in retaliation). If you think your family would be understanding enough now that you are an adult and would be understanding that you are now making your own decisions (even though they might not agree with them), then I would just be honest with them regarding how you feel.

If you think it would cause major upset in your family, but you still have a strong desire to tell them, then you have to weigh the pros and cons and make a decision. Ultimately, I think you have to do what makes you happy and live life on your own terms.

The other thing you could do is simply be busy during mass times. For instance, go volunteer on a Sunday. Or take a course during off semesters and tell them you need to work on your coursework. Or get a part-time job to help pay for school. Anyway, just some ideas.
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27-02-2017, 10:37 AM
RE: How to tell my family that I'm not keen on church anymore.
(27-02-2017 09:35 AM)jennybee Wrote:  For instance, go volunteer on a Sunday.

I like this idea, you get out of church, the org you volunteer with get some help, and your family could hardly object (and if pushed you can always imply that you think doing 'gods work' is more helpful to you spiritually than church).



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27-02-2017, 04:21 PM
How to tell my family that I'm not keen on church anymore.
Don't ever lead people on. Let them accept you for you or they can pound sand. Don't go to church. It's that simple. Go golfing instead. Or fishing. Or sleep in. Whatever the hell you want!


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27-02-2017, 04:53 PM
RE: How to tell my family that I'm not keen on church anymore.
(27-02-2017 04:21 PM)treefireguy Wrote:  Don't ever lead people on. Let them accept you for you or they can pound sand. Don't go to church. It's that simple. Go golfing instead. Or fishing. Or sleep in. Whatever the hell you want!


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Normally I'd agree with this.

But the OP is living with them due to financial constraints, and all it takes is one Christian rage-fest (which is depressingly common in these situations) to end up homeless.

Under that level of risk, a little bit of self-preserving appeasement and silence might be called for. Like, even if it's only a 10% risk, it still makes a lot of sense to play it safe.

Of course, that comes down to the character of the parents, and the OP is the only one here who knows that. Coupled with who exactly is at risk for being homeless, that's why the OP is the only one in a position to make the call.
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04-03-2017, 08:14 PM
RE: How to tell my family that I'm not keen on church anymore.
Again I appreciate all the advice. I will be going back to school this fall (for a 5 yr program) I hope!! Anyways currently I do need to reside with my folks for the time being. Its not that I have a problem telling them. It's just I feel they would not handle it well. And I will tell them at some point. I'm just being courteous. He's done a lot for me since I've moved back ( my father that is ) Again I appreciate all the advice.

"A man is accepted into church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows." Mark Twain

"Most of the change we have think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor." Robert Frost
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