Hurt by beliefs
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18-01-2017, 06:47 AM
Hurt by beliefs
So, the preacher friend I've mentioned before... I didn't know his view of those that left the faith was so intense. He seems to genuinely worry, yes, but then proceeds to post all sorts of verses about how we'll turn from faith to wickedness and how "WE don't have to be that way..", likely addressing the rest of the flock.

I've suffered so much trying to pull myself away from this belief system. I've made myself sick, I've worried myself to death a thousand times more than ever before (including over his own posts), cried myself to sleep when I realized I just didn't believe anymore, and hell, I didn't WANT to -- and I haven't turned to wickedness at all. I'm still the same sweet shy thing his daughter met. I haven't begun eating babies yet or anything. I've done wrong before, yes, but how is that worth any of the hell that he doesn't hesitate to say we all deserve?

I guess I'm rambling on about this because I thought he believed better. I thought he was one of the more lenient Christians that didn't believe in hellfire and brimstone and that apostates are terrible and wicked because kindness without a deity involved is impossible, apparently.

I still haven't told them I'm atheist. Now I know I can't.
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18-01-2017, 07:08 AM
RE: Hurt by beliefs
Different brands of Christianity put emphasis on different things. Your "brand of origin" emphasizes guilt, shame and god's wrath over god's love. It is fundamentally authoritarian in nature. My guess is your preacher is not to the sawdust trail, hellfire and brimstone extreme, but leans that way.

From your description I would guess you're a bit of an empath, and this makes the authoritarian / legalistic sort of faith particularly toxic to you. And the pastor's comments particularly disappointing.
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18-01-2017, 09:08 AM
RE: Hurt by beliefs
(18-01-2017 07:08 AM)mordant Wrote:  Different brands of Christianity put emphasis on different things. Your "brand of origin" emphasizes guilt, shame and god's wrath over god's love. It is fundamentally authoritarian in nature. My guess is your preacher is not to the sawdust trail, hellfire and brimstone extreme, but leans that way.

From your description I would guess you're a bit of an empath, and this makes the authoritarian / legalistic sort of faith particularly toxic to you. And the pastor's comments particularly disappointing.

Yes. Might start dodging Facebook altogether, as the religious stuff is everywhere. I can ignore the lovey-dovey stuff... but the proselytizing, the demonizing of those who simply believe differently, don't believe now or never have, and the insisting that we all deserve the worst no matter who we are unless we have Jesus just disturbs me, especially coming from someone who was so nice to me on my trip.

He's made it very obvious that he believes he's superior to the black sheep, and (without knowing, granted) me, and I guess that just really, really made me sad.
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18-01-2017, 09:51 AM
RE: Hurt by beliefs
(18-01-2017 06:47 AM)Diddlyboop Wrote:  So, the preacher friend I've mentioned before... I didn't know his view of those that left the faith was so intense. He seems to genuinely worry, yes, but then proceeds to post all sorts of verses about how we'll turn from faith to wickedness and how "WE don't have to be that way..", likely addressing the rest of the flock.

I've suffered so much trying to pull myself away from this belief system. I've made myself sick, I've worried myself to death a thousand times more than ever before (including over his own posts), cried myself to sleep when I realized I just didn't believe anymore, and hell, I didn't WANT to -- and I haven't turned to wickedness at all. I'm still the same sweet shy thing his daughter met. I haven't begun eating babies yet or anything. I've done wrong before, yes, but how is that worth any of the hell that he doesn't hesitate to say we all deserve?

I guess I'm rambling on about this because I thought he believed better. I thought he was one of the more lenient Christians that didn't believe in hellfire and brimstone and that apostates are terrible and wicked because kindness without a deity involved is impossible, apparently.

I still haven't told them I'm atheist. Now I know I can't.
I cut ties to a few people I knew who were like this, I just couldn't maintain the friendships it was doing my head in majorly. Depends on the individual entirely and obviously I don't know the guy who's your friend but personally I couldn't do it in the end, it might be worth preparing yourself just incase you find yourself in the same situation as me, good luck mate.
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18-01-2017, 11:03 AM
RE: Hurt by beliefs
This is when I have a serious problem with religion. Guilting and shaming and scaring people into believing. If God was truly love, why would this be required? Think about someone you truly love and someone who truly loves you. Is there any guilt, shame, fear that goes along with that? Then, why would there be guilt/shame/love with a God who bills himself as all-loving? This is one (of the many) reason(s) I never felt xtianity made sense.

Religion is about control and preying on natural urges aka sins. Like writer Darrel Ray said (and I'm paraphrasing): It's all about having repeat customers. Religions need guilt/shame/fear in order to not lose any members of their flock. It keeps them in business.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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18-01-2017, 11:39 AM
RE: Hurt by beliefs
It's a bit like - correction-it's a lot like being in an abusive domestic relationship when you're being made to feel like this. There are all the terrible threats made - although they're making them "because they love you" or because "it's for your own good".

Don't feel bad about rejecting all that hypocrisy, and all the control freaks that want to "own" you.

The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike
Excreta Tauri Sapientam Fulgeat (The excrement of the bull causes wisdom to flee)
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18-01-2017, 12:13 PM
RE: Hurt by beliefs
(18-01-2017 09:08 AM)Diddlyboop Wrote:  He's made it very obvious that he believes he's superior to the black sheep, and (without knowing, granted) me, and I guess that just really, really made me sad.
You're a better person than I am Diddlyboop. Such arrogance and hypocrisy on his part.

That's the point where it would be so tempting to post, "Funny, Paul says in Romans 3:23, 'for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God'." Which admittedly, he'd probably say that doesn't apply after being Saved by Jesus and being a new creation through a personal relationship with Christ, to which an angry retort might be to ask why in Philippians 2:12, Paul also says, "continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,".

Sorry his posts make you feel this way. Sad

Need to think of a witty signature.
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18-01-2017, 02:11 PM
RE: Hurt by beliefs
He isn't the kind of person whom I could consider a friend. If I absolutely had to be on Facebook I would unfriend or block him in a heartbeat so that I didn't have to look at his rants.

I'm sorry, but your beliefs are much too silly to take seriously. Got anything else we can discuss?
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18-01-2017, 08:54 PM
RE: Hurt by beliefs
I've returned to faith over a year ago, but when I identified as an atheist, I remember ''losing'' a few ''friends'' who were Christians. I came to realize that they really weren't my friends, after all. I understand that some Christians feel this need to ''warn'' others of straying from God, but while I do pray for my friends, etc...I don't believe that shunning and chastising atheists is essential to my faith. It surprises me that any deist/theist would think like that, but you can't change people, only how you react to them. I think that if you share that you're an atheist, they'll likely not believe you...they'll try to talk you out of it, it's just a 'phase,' etc. I heard much of that when I was an atheist, and there came a point when my journey was only about me, and not about anyone else. Your journey is about you and not anyone else. So, just follow your heart and path, and if you are an atheist, or you return to faith...it's not anyone's right to make you feel bad about it. Heart

Be true to yourself. Heart
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20-01-2017, 02:16 AM
RE: Hurt by beliefs
Thank you all. It's just scary to me, I suppose. During the trip and other times I had met him he was such a nice guy! He really seems to want the best for everyone and such, but -- then to insist that we all deserve hell (whilst ignoring, of course, that Jesus himself never even mentioned something like that existing), and that all the bad in the world is because we've turned from God and left the faith...

How can a person who seems so nice believe something like that?
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