I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
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01-10-2013, 09:12 AM
I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
I've been saying for years that I could start a new religion and be a success since I know details about many religions and cults including my own Christian faith. But why take the easy route and simply soak up the money, fame and hot chicks?

I hereby by divine fiat and due to the special knowledge I have garnered at TTA and other fine web forums pronouce my new faith and lack of same--and all of you are urged to join or not join by God Himself (god himself):

CRATHEISM!

We will blend the best of Christianity and Atheism to make a brave new faith for those with faith and those without. Anyone who opposes us will be forced to contemplate how they have both faith and no faith in a Schrodinger's Cat sense until they acheive transcendance, insanity and/or cultural relevance. My friends, THIS is how we can make peace, finally, between our respective camps. Our basic tenets of no faith-faith include:

*There is only one god or less

*You are free to think for yourself unless you don't want to

*We have all the subjective and objective answers you can possibly need or think you might need, not that there's anything wrong with that

*Mankind will eventually solve its own problems with or without divine intervention

*People are basically good (and evil) in a positivist, ethical and theistic sense

*Divine judgment will not linger or perhaps ever happen

*Our special holidays include Christmas, Easter, Voltaire's Birthday and any other days we don't want to work retail

*The age of the Universe is between 6,000 and circa 15B years old

*We experience persecution at all levels of our organization, including special internal haranguing

*We are all utterly open-minded and yet we aren't, not really

*We believe and affirm the metaphysical beauty of Scientism and the coldly factual and platonic attractions of Jesus

Please add your thoughts here and help me build our new irreligious religion. We will next create our own self-produced films including "Yo, Dogma!", "The Passion of The Dawkins" and "The Bromance of Sean Hannity and Bill Maher".

Together, Cratheists (cratheists) we will forge the most powerful thinking person's religion since the advent of Scientology, long may L. Ron H be blessed and clear!

PJ (Overlord Operating Thetan Level XI, Fanatic, and Grand High Freethinking Poobah)
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01-10-2013, 09:14 AM (This post was last modified: 01-10-2013 08:47 PM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
(01-10-2013 09:12 AM)PleaseJesus Wrote:  I've been saying for years that I could start a new religion and be a success since I know details about many religions and cults including my own Christian faith. But why take the easy route and simply soak up the money, fame and hot chicks?

I hereby by divine fiat and due to the special knowledge I have garnered at TTA and other fine web forums pronouce my new faith and lack of same--and all of you are urged to join or not join by God Himself (god himself):

CRATHEISM!

We will blend the best of Christianity and Atheism to make a brave new faith for those with faith and those without. Anyone who opposes us will be forced to contemplate how they have both faith and no faith in a Schrodinger's Cat sense until they acheive transcendance, insanity and/or cultural relevance. My friends, THIS is how we can make peace, finally, between our respective camps. Our basic tenets of no faith-faith include:

*There is only one god or less

*You are free to think for yourself unless you don't want to

*We have all the subjective and objective answers you can possibly need or think you might need, not that there's anything wrong with that

*Mankind will eventually solve its own problems with or without divine intervention

*People are basically good (and evil) in a positivist, ethical and theistic sense

*Divine judgment will not linger or perhaps ever happen

*Our special holidays include Christmas, Easter, Voltaire's Birthday and any other days we don't want to work retail

*The age of the Universe is between 6,000 and circa 15B years old

*We experience persecution at all levels of our organization, including special internal haranguing

*We are all utterly open-minded and yet we aren't, not really

*We believe and affirm the metaphysical beauty of Scientism and the coldly factual and platonic attractions of Jesus

Please add your thoughts here and help me build our new irreligious religion. We will next create our own self-produced films including "Yo, Dogma!", "The Passion of The Dawkins" and "The Bromance of Sean Hannity and Bill Maher".

Together, Cratheists (cratheists) we will forge the most powerful thinking person's religion since the advent of Scientology, long may L. Ron H be blessed and clear!

PJ (Overlord Operating Thetan Level XI, Fanatic, and Grand High Freethinking Poobah)

Was that the pamphlet you wasted your time writing yesterday ?
Is that your scholarship ? Weeping
So then, head poo, (may we just call you head-full-of-poo), or shithead ?
1/2 point for effort. Ridicule for Jebus.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
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01-10-2013, 09:18 AM
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
Just going to come out and say it....

That was entertaining. Good job PJ?!

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01-10-2013, 09:20 AM
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
But, but...where are pictures of Shakira and the Trans Am?

Never mind...wrong cult leader.Sadcryface

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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01-10-2013, 09:27 AM (This post was last modified: 01-10-2013 09:33 AM by kim.)
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
Sheesh; another Ego®.


Break out the snacks ... we got another downward spiral in the works. Drinking Beverage

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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01-10-2013, 09:28 AM
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
Huh

Dodgy I don't fall for your mind tricks.
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01-10-2013, 09:30 AM
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
Ego® take two Drinking Beverage

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
—Thomas Henry Huxley
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01-10-2013, 09:31 AM
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
I still don't understand why theists come to atheist forums to pitch their new religions Huh

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
—Thomas Henry Huxley
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01-10-2013, 09:46 AM
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
Satire or not.

Smile

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01-10-2013, 09:49 AM (This post was last modified: 01-10-2013 10:19 AM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
(01-10-2013 09:46 AM)DLJ Wrote:  Satire or not.

Smile

He's calling CRAzyTHEISTS.
Good he finally admits it.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
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