I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
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01-10-2013, 09:49 AM
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
(01-10-2013 09:31 AM)TheBeardedDude Wrote:  I still don't understand why theists come to atheist forums to pitch their new religions Huh

My guess why is that we're the best of the best at pointing out all the gaffes of their newly created religions. People like to text drive cars before buying them. Why not test drive your own newly created religion? You know, before you really feel like committing to it. Drinking Beverage

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01-10-2013, 09:51 AM
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
(01-10-2013 09:49 AM)cheapthrillseaker Wrote:  
(01-10-2013 09:31 AM)TheBeardedDude Wrote:  I still don't understand why theists come to atheist forums to pitch their new religions Huh

My guess why is that we're the best of the best at pointing out all the gaffes of their newly created religions. People like to text drive cars before buying them. Why not test drive your own newly created religion? You know, before you really feel like committing to it. Drinking Beverage

Yabut, does he have a big thigh?

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01-10-2013, 09:54 AM
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
Da fuq you been drinking, PJ?

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01-10-2013, 10:14 AM
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
I laughed so hard reading the op that I farted Blush

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01-10-2013, 10:31 AM
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
(01-10-2013 09:12 AM)PleaseJesus Wrote:  *We experience persecution at all levels of our organization, including special internal haranguing

*We are all utterly open-minded and yet we aren't, not really

PJ (Overlord Operating Thetan Level XI, Fanatic, and Grand High Freethinking Poobah)

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01-10-2013, 11:52 AM
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
That was fuckin hilarious.

PJ, you're all right man.

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01-10-2013, 11:58 AM
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
(01-10-2013 09:12 AM)PleaseJesus Wrote:  PJ (Overlord Operating Thetan Level XI, Fanatic, and Grand High Freethinking Poobah)

Name is little long, needs some trimming...how about PJ, Operating High Poobah?

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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01-10-2013, 12:21 PM
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
lol that was funny... PJ is still crazy though Tongue

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01-10-2013, 12:36 PM
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
IT'S A TRAP!

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01-10-2013, 01:49 PM
RE: I Call All Cratheists To My Side!
(01-10-2013 09:14 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  
(01-10-2013 09:12 AM)PleaseJesus Wrote:  I've been saying for years that I could start a new religion and be a success since I know details about many religions and cults including my own Christian faith. But why take the easy route and simply soak up the money, fame and hot chicks?

I hereby by divine fiat and due to the special knowledge I have garnered at TTA and other fine web forums pronouce my new faith and lack of same--and all of you are urged to join or not join by God Himself (god himself):

CRATHEISM!

We will blend the best of Christianity and Atheism to make a brave new faith for those with faith and those without. Anyone who opposes us will be forced to contemplate how they have both faith and no faith in a Schrodinger's Cat sense until they acheive transcendance, insanity and/or cultural relevance. My friends, THIS is how we can make peace, finally, between our respective camps. Our basic tenets of no faith-faith include:

*There is only one god or less

*You are free to think for yourself unless you don't want to

*We have all the subjective and objective answers you can possibly need or think you might need, not that there's anything wrong with that

*Mankind will eventually solve its own problems with or without divine intervention

*People are basically good (and evil) in a positivist, ethical and theistic sense

*Divine judgment will not linger or perhaps ever happen

*Our special holidays include Christmas, Easter, Voltaire's Birthday and any other days we don't want to work retail

*The age of the Universe is between 6,000 and circa 15B years old

*We experience persecution at all levels of our organization, including special internal haranguing

*We are all utterly open-minded and yet we aren't, not really

*We believe and affirm the metaphysical beauty of Scientism and the coldly factual and platonic attractions of Jesus

Please add your thoughts here and help me build our new irreligious religion. We will next create our own self-produced films including "Yo, Dogma!", "The Passion of The Dawkins" and "The Bromance of Sean Hannity and Bill Maher".

Together, Cratheists (cratheists) we will forge the most powerful thinking person's religion since the advent of Scientology, long may L. Ron H be blessed and clear!

PJ (Overlord Operating Thetan Level XI, Fanatic, and Grand High Freethinking Poobah)

Good one, PrettyPrettyPleaseLetThereBeAJebus. Was that the pamphlet you wasted your time writing yesterday ?
Great example of your best scholarship. Weeping
So then, head poo, (may we just call you head-full-of-poo), or shithead ?
1/2 point for effort. Ridicule for Jebus.

How dare you, sir? I experienced a great deal of pain and rejection when I came out as a Cratheist (cratheist) to my friends and family. Therefore, and in the spirit (Spirit) of Cratheist Week on the Travel Channel, I hereby denounce all who will not uphold the sacred and imperishable proclamation of our Archdeacon Photon Skeptic Yahushuah, as he itself has been widely regarded by our sacred documents to have hypothetically stated:

"Know then that all that you know is not enough to know all that you know."
-- Mentat musings from Arrakis (Dune), Book IX

I further applaud your Religulousity and suggest a Dianetic Enema deep cleanse to open your freethinking chakra centers of immortal power.

Thank you, PJ Poobah
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