I Feel Terrible
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
11-01-2014, 12:19 PM
RE: I Feel Terrible
I can kind of relate. My whole family is Christian (with the exception of my aunt, uncle, mother and stepfather). Those people (and my father and step mother) are the only ones who know I'm atheist. I remember when I told my dad about my atheism, I heard him crying and praying to god that whole night. Ever since then there's been an invisible barrier between us, and we haven't been the same. I can't even tell anyone else in the family (they're the fire and brimstone sorts) because they'll literally disown me.
I'm 18, I graduated high school last year. I've been an atheist for about 5-6 years (closet atheist for a good two). I'll tell you what I've done (take it or leave it, up to you):
1. I used to go to church up until few years ago when just couldn't take it anymore. (but your parents are more strict, so I would recommend staying for as long as needed)
2. Stay friends with the open minded people. Some of my best friends came from my home church. But, they accept me for who I am and are my true friends. Cut ties with anyone else. Trust me, it'll be easier.
3. Avoid any and all religious talk if possible. Otherwise, I guess you could fake being a Mormon again. It would get them off your back and then you wouldn't have to deal that.
4. Find friends that support your decision that are not related to your church life. (I heard you are going to Irvine? Is that Irvine Cali? If so, I'm actually really close. I know some Mormons that go to the Cypress temple).

As for your emotions, I was there too. But give it some time, you'll get over it. I like to compare it to a break up where you actually loved your partner. It hurts at first, feels like the world is coming to an end, but you get better. The amount of time it takes is different for every one, but it will happen. The process will be sped up when you escape your Mormon household of course. So stick it out, and just remember: you're not alone. Making the decision is the hardest part, it only gets easier. For example; I'm immune to any of the church stuff my Dad tries to pull on me. I don't feel any connection to my old church anymore, and I actually feel stronger and better off than I was before. But the trick is to realize how important family is to you. If they really are everything, then don't isolate yourself. When you're older you can be more straight forward, but at this time you viewed as the child. And your job is to sit down, shut up and swallow everything they teach you. So it might help your future relationship to just play the game (if possible).

I hope I helped in some way, best of luck.

Atir aissom atir imon
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Im_Ryan's post
11-01-2014, 03:30 PM
RE: I Feel Terrible
(11-01-2014 11:25 AM)ibseth Wrote:  Wow, so many great ideas and encouraging thoughts. This helps a lot. Thanks!

Have you looked into the stories of other former Mormons? There are quite a few Mormon Stories videos on youtube. I really like Brian Dalton and his Mister Deity series.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
11-01-2014, 04:46 PM
RE: I Feel Terrible
That sounds awful but you sound like you have your head screwed on the right way and are ready to meet the challenges you are facing. Given your age and situation I would do as others have advised and just suck it up for the sake of your education and domestic arrangements. It won't always be like this and sometimes you just have to deal with stuff that totally bites for the short term and focus on long term outcomes.

I am in an Aethist society so I can't really appreciate the pressure you are under but I went to a Christian boarding school for 5 years and all the religious carry on bored the living daylights out of me. In my whole time there there was not one girl who was even remotely religious (it was a small school so you knew everyone) but we all kept up the pretence and dutifully trooped off to chapel each morning and church every Sunday, knowing that it was just what we had to do and that one day we would never have to sing lame hymns or do stupid irrelevant readings ever again.

I wouldn't feel guilty about the church people giving your dad a hard time. He is an adult and he can deal with them. I think it is a bit gutless of them to go through him. It's manipulative and disingenuous. No wonder you don't want to be part of it.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Pippen's post
12-01-2014, 12:18 AM
RE: I Feel Terrible
(11-01-2014 03:30 PM)anonymous66 Wrote:  
(11-01-2014 11:25 AM)ibseth Wrote:  Wow, so many great ideas and encouraging thoughts. This helps a lot. Thanks!

Have you looked into the stories of other former Mormons? There are quite a few Mormon Stories videos on youtube. I really like Brian Dalton and his Mister Deity series.

No, I haven't. Thanks for the suggestion
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: