I "Sin" Less As An Unbeliever
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01-05-2013, 09:00 AM (This post was last modified: 01-05-2013 09:06 AM by onedream.)
I "Sin" Less As An Unbeliever
Am I alone on this?

Since deconverting, the things I used to consider "sinful" I do less now.
Lets use pornography as an example. I used to feel extreme shame about viewing it. But I was drawn to it and couldn't get loose from looking at it several times a week as a Christian. And I saw occasional excessive use of it harming my marriage years ago.

Now that I see there's no rational reason to view it as a "sin" I could really rather take it or leave it. I hardly EVER use it now. Take the mistique and taboo away from it and its no longer a thing I struggle with being drawn to. Over the last year, my marriage has improved and our sex life has never been better.

So contrary to theist opinion, unbelief has actually "set me free" from pornography.
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01-05-2013, 09:23 AM
RE: I "Sin" Less As An Unbeliever
Hell, porn is the only reason I ever became and atheist. I'll be damned if I was gonna go blind or grow hair on my palms just because some invisible man liked watching me jerk off. Tongue


But seriously, I understand what you mean. There are a lot of things the religious see as bad that have nothing at all to do with actual ethics. That said, even if you had increased your use of porn as an atheist, you'd still be sinning less than a theist by default.

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
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01-05-2013, 09:37 AM
RE: I "Sin" Less As An Unbeliever
Correction - you do not "sin" at all. Sin is a religious construct and thus - devoid of meaning for those who don't need their (sky) daddy to hold their hand, tuck them in at night and tell them everything is gonna be all right.

Angel

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderĂ²."
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01-05-2013, 10:27 AM
RE: I "Sin" Less As An Unbeliever
It's more fun to do things you think you're not supposed to do. Like me sneaking beer and cigarettes from my dad as a kid. That was fun. Would I get caught? Would he notice?

One morning I snuck a beer and a pack of smokes into my backpack before school! I brought it to school and had this naughty secret all day...It was exhilarating! Would I get caught? What if they chose that day to search lockers?

On the way home from school I went the long way, up and over a mountain area....

I drank the beer and smoked.

No one ever found out and it was the best day.

Today, it's not so much fun...I've learned to count beer so if one is taken....I'd sure as fuck would notice. :-)

Yes, being a bit bad or naughty is just fun...

I remember the morning of my 21st birthday. I got up, drove to the nearest grocery store and bought a bottle of whiskey. Now I'd been "buying" for years from a liquor store notorious for not checking ID's...unless you looked incredibly young. But this was the first time that I could do it "legal."

I thought it would feel different. I thought I would feel more "adult" with that bottle of whiskey in the cart amongst the tampons, veggies and meat.

What's worse? They didn't even ask to see my ID!

I drove back to my apartment feeling dejected (my husband and I were engaged to be married and kinda living together) I put the food away, the bottle of liquor on the counter, tampons stashed in the bathroom and sat down. It wasn't at all what I thought it would be.

It was waaaay more fun before.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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01-05-2013, 11:03 AM
RE: I "Sin" Less As An Unbeliever
Never really felt this way, Mom. Possibly 'cause I hate sneaking and hiding, and making up stories, and pretending. But mostly sneaking. Makes me feel ridiculous. Whatever I do, I do it proudly Angel

Even if it's stupid as shit.

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderĂ²."
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01-05-2013, 11:08 AM
RE: I "Sin" Less As An Unbeliever
(01-05-2013 11:03 AM)Vera Wrote:  Never really felt this way, Mom. Possibly 'cause I hate sneaking and hiding, and making up stories, and pretending. But mostly sneaking. Makes me feel ridiculous. Whatever I do, I do it proudly Angel

Even if it's stupid as shit.

Well, it was fun reflection on things I'd hadn't thought about in a long time. Even though, I will jokingly profess to be 29, it's been a long time since I turned 21.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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01-05-2013, 12:29 PM
RE: I "Sin" Less As An Unbeliever
(01-05-2013 09:37 AM)Vera Wrote:  Correction - you do not "sin" at all. Sin is a religious construct and thus - devoid of meaning for those who don't need their (sky) daddy to hold their hand, tuck them in at night and tell them everything is gonna be all right.

Angel


Thus, my Quotation marks around the word "Sin."

I was trying to specify the types of activities to which I was referring.
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01-05-2013, 12:31 PM
RE: I "Sin" Less As An Unbeliever
I identify with the fun of "doing things you're not supposed to do."
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01-05-2013, 12:34 PM
RE: I "Sin" Less As An Unbeliever
I can totally relate, OD. I find it funny when the silly theists like Egor accuse us of becoming atheists because we want to sin. Like you, I'm less apt to do things that I felt terribly guilty for when I was a Christee.

But then again, I've wondered if this is because of a change in worldview, or is it a function of being a fat, old man? Weeping

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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01-05-2013, 12:36 PM (This post was last modified: 01-05-2013 12:43 PM by Atheist_pilgrim.)
RE: I "Sin" Less As An Unbeliever
(01-05-2013 09:00 AM)onedream Wrote:  Am I alone on this?

Since deconverting, the things I used to consider "sinful" I do less now.
Lets use pornography as an example. I used to feel extreme shame about viewing it. But I was drawn to it and couldn't get loose from looking at it several times a week as a Christian. And I saw occasional excessive use of it harming my marriage years ago.

Now that I see there's no rational reason to view it as a "sin" I could really rather take it or leave it. I hardly EVER use it now. Take the mistique and taboo away from it and its no longer a thing I struggle with being drawn to. Over the last year, my marriage has improved and our sex life has never been better.

So contrary to theist opinion, unbelief has actually "set me free" from pornography.

As a single Xian man, I "struggled" with masturbation and "lustful thoughts" a lot, especially when I was younger. It was all part of the "try hard/give up" cycle that haunts a lot of Xians in the area of sexuality. I fasted, prayed, got counseling, read books, memorized scripture, engaged in extended sessions of prayer and worship, joined a small group that focused on sexual issues, and tried accountability, but none of that ever worked for long and I ended up on a guilt/shame trip when I "fell"

I was mortified of being seen near any porn store and couldn't bring myself to buy or download anything, so I spent lots of time channel surfing to find an appealing flick. I relied on soft-core stuff on Showtime and Cinemax for my "fix", and of course felt bad afterwards, asked forgiveness, resolved to clean up my act, and jumped back into the Xian disciplines to grow in sanctification. That caused me much stress over the years, especially since I never managed to get married and couldn't fornicate.

Now that I'm an atheist (still single, still male), I don't have a problem with going to a video store and buying an adult DVD that has what I like (girl/girl, if you are curious). As a result I spend a lot less time on that sort of thing because I can see what I want when I want. And between being middle-aged and not guilt-tripping anymore, like you the whole thing is not as big an imperative for me as it used to be. Once a thing loses its forbidden allure, it become kind of pedestrian.

That said, I'm way behind the curve when it comes to dealing with an actual partner because I managed to avoid that path (or the path avoided me) and I never married (I spent a lot of time trying to become good husband material, but that didn't seem to matter - love is a strange thing, I guess). It's cool that you have a wife to turn to for true intimacy and thus were able to get back into the sexual fold (so to speak). As for a middle-aged chap like me, I'm still not sure how the real deal would work out in my situation, as I'm either not wired for casual sex or else have too much residual baggage in that area to get out there and sow some wild oats.
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