I Told My Mom I'm Depressed. She Told Me To Get Over It.
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02-02-2014, 04:53 PM
I Told My Mom I'm Depressed. She Told Me To Get Over It.
I kind of had a mental breakdown today. I've been on-and-off depressed just about my whole life. This year, a whole bunch of stuff has been building up, and I finally kind of just snapped. My mom called me a basket-case and a whole bunch of other stuff and eventually I just told her I was depressed and that I'd spent all of today laying in bed crying and hating myself. My mom told me I was overreacting, and told me to stop overreacting. She told me everyone hated themselves from time to time, and that I was overreacting. I told her I didn't want to go to my uncle's Superbowl party because I just wanted to be alone, and then she told me that I had to go because if I went I wouldn't feel depressed anymore. She said if you do things you won't be depressed. I ended up telling her that I was just overreacting and that none of what I said was true and that I was fine. Is she right? Is that all I need to do? Go out and do things? I've tried that, but it never worked. Maybe I'm not doing it the right way though. Any thoughts?
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02-02-2014, 05:01 PM
RE: I Told My Mom I'm Depressed. She Told Me To Get Over It.
(02-02-2014 04:53 PM)southernbelle Wrote:  I kind of had a mental breakdown today. I've been on-and-off depressed just about my whole life. This year, a whole bunch of stuff has been building up, and I finally kind of just snapped. My mom called me a basket-case and a whole bunch of other stuff and eventually I just told her I was depressed and that I'd spent all of today laying in bed crying and hating myself. My mom told me I was overreacting, and told me to stop overreacting. She told me everyone hated themselves from time to time, and that I was overreacting. I told her I didn't want to go to my uncle's Superbowl party because I just wanted to be alone, and then she told me that I had to go because if I went I wouldn't feel depressed anymore. She said if you do things you won't be depressed. I ended up telling her that I was just overreacting and that none of what I said was true and that I was fine. Is she right? Is that all I need to do? Go out and do things? I've tried that, but it never worked. Maybe I'm not doing it the right way though. Any thoughts?

Sorry to hear about your turmoil. At 17 it is difficult to contradict your parents, especially if living under their roof. If staying home is not an option available to you then gather your emotions and try to make the best of the situation. Throwing a tantrum isn't helping anyone, especially you. As for depression have you been to a professional?

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02-02-2014, 05:05 PM
RE: I Told My Mom I'm Depressed. She Told Me To Get Over It.
(02-02-2014 04:53 PM)southernbelle Wrote:  I kind of had a mental breakdown today. I've been on-and-off depressed just about my whole life. This year, a whole bunch of stuff has been building up, and I finally kind of just snapped. My mom called me a basket-case and a whole bunch of other stuff and eventually I just told her I was depressed and that I'd spent all of today laying in bed crying and hating myself. My mom told me I was overreacting, and told me to stop overreacting. She told me everyone hated themselves from time to time, and that I was overreacting. I told her I didn't want to go to my uncle's Superbowl party because I just wanted to be alone, and then she told me that I had to go because if I went I wouldn't feel depressed anymore. She said if you do things you won't be depressed. I ended up telling her that I was just overreacting and that none of what I said was true and that I was fine. Is she right? Is that all I need to do? Go out and do things? I've tried that, but it never worked. Maybe I'm not doing it the right way though. Any thoughts?

As a person that suffers from depression I find that getting out, being around people, and doing activities do help. You should really talk to a therapist and try to find the root cause of your depression as doing that really helped me.

Onward, my faithful steed!
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02-02-2014, 05:28 PM
RE: I Told My Mom I'm Depressed. She Told Me To Get Over It.
I'm pretty sure you can make your own doctor appointment at 17. If you go to public school you may want to see about meeting with the school counselor. A religious school counselor is probably going to recommend prayer and confession.

Being active is extremely important for people suffering with depression. Now, this is not to say I think the party is your best bet as you will likely feel pressure to appear social. Active is more like going for walks, yoga, soccer, running, etc... also finding a hobby that you find enjoyable enough to keep your mind off of negative ruminating thoughts.

I have moderate depressive disorder and have gone to cognitive behavioral therapy and have an amazing counselor that has helped me work through many of the beliefs I had that were just plain wrong/lies (thank you insane religious upbringing).

note that your hormones could also be an issue... stress gets them completely whacked. Environmental ( outside stressors) and self induced stress (unrealistic expectations, expecting more of yourself than you would others or thinking about how you thought you may be in a different place mentally or even physically, etc.) Play a roll too.

I've been there. I holed myself up in my room and seriously contemplated suicide in high school. Getting out of the house at 18 saved me. You can break through too. You need that support to get you passed these next few months. I must say to you it gets so much better!!! Yes, keep telling yourself there is a deadline. Make a countdown chain but don't share it with your parents as to what it's about or they will just find that as another way to harp on you. And every time you check off a day do a little dance or say something positive to keep pushing yourself through. Each day is another closer to college! Each week gone by a reason to smile.

You can do it. I may sound annoyingly positive to you because when your in the depth of depression it all sounds ridiculous. Force yourself to do certain things if you have to.

Blink
If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking. -George S. Patton
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04-02-2014, 07:44 AM
RE: I Told My Mom I'm Depressed. She Told Me To Get Over It.
Really sorry you are going through this unsupported. As a parent I would not blow you off like that. Parents forget how big a deal some things are to teens that are not to parents. We often forget we were there and had to deal with similare issues and was often difficult for us. I have two teen girls and they do often over react, but there is often a legitament reason for their reaction. It is much more productive to get both of you settled down then discuss the issue calmly.

FWIW my second girl is going through a rough time and has resulted to cutting herself when she is feeling low. If she was having a bad day and we were going some where there is no way I would leave her home alone locked in her room. We have her seeing someone because this is more than me or my wife are qualified to deal with. I hope you can find similar support from your parents. Good luck.
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04-02-2014, 08:04 AM
RE: I Told My Mom I'm Depressed. She Told Me To Get Over It.
(02-02-2014 04:53 PM)southernbelle Wrote:  I kind of had a mental breakdown today. I've been on-and-off depressed just about my whole life. This year, a whole bunch of stuff has been building up, and I finally kind of just snapped. My mom called me a basket-case and a whole bunch of other stuff and eventually I just told her I was depressed and that I'd spent all of today laying in bed crying and hating myself. My mom told me I was overreacting, and told me to stop overreacting. She told me everyone hated themselves from time to time, and that I was overreacting. I told her I didn't want to go to my uncle's Superbowl party because I just wanted to be alone, and then she told me that I had to go because if I went I wouldn't feel depressed anymore. She said if you do things you won't be depressed. I ended up telling her that I was just overreacting and that none of what I said was true and that I was fine. Is she right? Is that all I need to do? Go out and do things? I've tried that, but it never worked. Maybe I'm not doing it the right way though. Any thoughts?



I hear you. I am sorry that you hurt, are scared, worried, upset and feeling unsure of yourself so strongly. No one should feel so undercut that they worry how to go on or seem to question their own self-worth.
Hug
That said - I also appreciate what your mom (hopefully) is looking to achieve. I could be wrong about her but it sounds like she just wants you to push through this blue phase. It sounds like her *way* of trying to be supportive. Has Mom been watching you go through some drama and perhaps wants to see you rise above drama? Moms lose patience after awhile - even with those they love dearly.


Depression can be tricky and that's why getting professional diagnosis would be better than mom's brush aside or any words of encouragement you might get here online. It's really impossible for me [or anyone] to know really what's going on with you. It's probably very difficult for even You to know - right?

Yes, like Mom says, sometimes we can just push on, get past ourselves, get out of our own heads a little and get busy living life. That *can* unburden you, help you focus on things other than those raw feelings.

but.....
you may suffer something deeper that needs to be addressed in a real and valid manner than a 'atta-boy' and 'common....let's go' attitude. Yes it's good to be able to pull yourself up by those bootstraps as they say and march onward doing your life. No, quite often that's not as easy as it sounds and people can learn skills for accomplishing that 'pull yourself up by bootstraps' routine.

Also - bear in mind - that people are unique. What works for some might not work for you. If you try to set aside sad feelings and find they creep Right Back Up on you - then for you it's maybe not just an attitude adjustment.
Tell Mom you'd like a doctor's opinion of what's going on with you and ask her to go with you. This will help her take this more seriously.

Hug more hug

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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04-02-2014, 11:05 AM
RE: I Told My Mom I'm Depressed. She Told Me To Get Over It.
It sounds like clinical depression. Talk to a doctor, not your insensitive and ignorant mother.

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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06-02-2014, 07:05 PM (This post was last modified: 06-02-2014 07:11 PM by Moodie.)
RE: I Told My Mom I'm Depressed. She Told Me To Get Over It.
Depression is real [ask me how I know!] It's hard for Mums [Moms] to understand ... eventually they do [ditto].

The thing about depression is that you're prolly *already* blaming yourself and not understanding why everything 'easy' is so darned *hard*. For me, what happens is that nothing makes sense and I need to construct a *reason* to get outta bed ... and when I get out n up n washed n dressed ... after awhile comes the time when I'm sobbing in a supermarket somewhere. Take depression seriously - think of it as like diabetes - don't leave it untreated.

Believe me, it is more than sadness or pissed-offness ... BUT ... yes, getting out *does* help ... exercise helps, working out your values in life helps - as motivation to stay outta bed ... I find walking in the park on a daily basis helps a lot - it's important to get light to the pineal gland via back of eye ... and if you *can* be with sympathetic people, watch a comedy or sthing, that helps too.

Meds can help ... but remember it takes awhile to get the right ones ... be brave and persistent - don't settle for any meds which don't help but remember they can take 10 days to begin to work.

To kick-start getting outta depression, cut yourself some slack. Plan to do the *minimum* you have today; and break down tasks until the next step is so small even *you* can do it!

And if you don't accomplish all you set out to do in a day it's because you're trying to get better too quickly - plan to do *less* the next day until you get to the point that you try your darndest but you only do what's reasonable for you as you feel TODAY. Then the next day, do just one teeny weeny thing more.

This be the end of my sermon. I learned this the hard way - I could write THE book.

And always remember - YOU WON'T ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THIS - even when it feels like you will be depressed forever, you won't.

Moodie x
PS when you get outta your depression, write yourself a letter for if you get depressed again - tell yourself how there *are* good things about you and about life ... then you've got something good to read if there's a 'next time'.
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06-02-2014, 07:23 PM
RE: I Told My Mom I'm Depressed. She Told Me To Get Over It.
Sorry you feel this way.

I am not a fan of Mom telling you to get over it. I can empathize though, my Mom said the same thing to me when I was young. It's something I've never forgotten and has forever thrown a wedge in between me sharing things with her. I hope I never do something like that to my own daughters.

She did have good advice though. You have to sometimes force yourself to get out and be around other people and do things. You can snowball into further depression if you don't.

I agree with others to see someone (other than who your mom says to go see Tongue )

Google some reputable articles and self-help, as well... lots of information out there.

Good luck!
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06-02-2014, 07:26 PM
RE: I Told My Mom I'm Depressed. She Told Me To Get Over It.
Getting out to do things may help, but YOU are the judge of that.

So, it sounds like you need more help than you mother can give you. I recommend a school counselor, or a emergency help-line number to call. Either one will be willing to talk to you. Your school counselor should be able to get your mother to take a closer look at what you are saying. Maybe another family member can help or at least get your mother's attention on you.

It's scary being a parent, we go into a lot of denial.

Just that you have posted this says you need help. Don't give up finding the help you need.

"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story." Orson Welles
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