I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
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17-02-2014, 08:40 PM (This post was last modified: 18-02-2014 01:18 PM by Raptor Jesus.)
Tongue I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
I am now…and this is true…a legally ordained Reverend/Minister.

A friend of mine got legally ordained just so that he could legally preform the marriage ceremony for his friend. They didn’t want to do it in a church or with clergy (they are atheist), but I guess you still need someone “official” to recognize it. But you can’t just be any one to preside over it. You have to at least go online and register for it, so my friend took care of it online. I was asking him about it, and it turned out it was so easy to do that I got ordained online too, so I am now legally an ordained Reverend/Minister.

I can now officially preside over marriage ceremonies. AND!!!! And this is the best part!!! I can now absolve you, or anyone, of their sins. So anyone out there who needs absolving, just let me know, and I’ll absolve you, sin free!

It’s actually pretty nice. Because we both did it, I can now absolve him of his sins, and he can absolve me of mine…done and done.

We still have to come up with our denomination name of the FSM. It only has the two of us in it so far.

...
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17-02-2014, 08:43 PM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
(17-02-2014 08:40 PM)Raptor Jesus Wrote:  I am now…and is true…a legally ordained Reverend/Minister.

And this is the best part!!! I can now absolve you, or anyone, of their sins. So anyone out there who needs absolving, just let me know, and I’ll absolve you, sin free!

We still have to come up with our denomination name of the FSM. It only has the two of us in it so far.

I would be honored if I could be one of the first people you absolved!

(As long as you don't ask for tithings)

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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17-02-2014, 08:46 PM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
(17-02-2014 08:43 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  I would be honored if I could be one of the first people you absolved!

(As long as you don't ask for tithings)

You are absolved, my child. You are now officially sin free.

...
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17-02-2014, 08:53 PM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
(17-02-2014 08:46 PM)Raptor Jesus Wrote:  
(17-02-2014 08:43 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  I would be honored if I could be one of the first people you absolved!

(As long as you don't ask for tithings)

You are absolved, my child. You are now officially sin free.

I'm not sure if I feel any differently...well, maybe. My cockles are tingling a bit Big Grin

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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17-02-2014, 08:54 PM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
Do we have to kiss your ring now? Dodgy

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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17-02-2014, 09:01 PM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
(17-02-2014 08:54 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Do we have to kiss your ring now? Dodgy

Hmm....I haven't decided what my made up rituals will be yet.

It's all kind of a work in progress. But I think part of it will involved being able to sleep with all the women in my congregation. We don't have any women in it yet, cause it's just us two. But I think as soon as we have a few women in it, that sounds like a good classic move to me.

I always thought being a religious leader was really about playing the guitar and having sex with your brainwashed parishioners anyway.

...
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17-02-2014, 09:01 PM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
As for a denomination:

Raptist

Jewrassic

Methozoic

or

The Church of Latter Day Taints?

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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17-02-2014, 09:04 PM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
(17-02-2014 09:01 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  As for a denomination:

Raptist

Jewrassic

Methozoic

or

The Church of Latter Day Taints?

Hmm...Consider Seems good, however, I might see an issue with at least one of those...

...
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17-02-2014, 09:05 PM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
(17-02-2014 09:01 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  The Church of Latter Day Taints?

I'd avoid this one, clever as it may be. Some smartass would call you the Muttons or the Morons.

We have enough youth. How about looking for the Fountain of Smart?
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18-02-2014, 04:32 AM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
*high five* I'm right there with you. I've actually done 3 marriage ceremonies for friends and family. It's an amazing thing to be able to do for your loved ones.

Also, quite awesome to be able to claim you're an atheist minister, really confuses people.

"Good news, everyone!"
-Cody
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