I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
18-02-2014, 04:58 AM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
I believe that it is a sin not to be without sin because there can only be one FSM. Can you absolve me of sin recursively to absolve me of the sin of not having sin once I get absolved?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
18-02-2014, 07:34 AM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
Hey ! Thats great ! Can you bless my motorcycle without getting spaghetti sauce all over it Huh

If bullshit were music some people would be a brass band.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
18-02-2014, 08:16 AM (This post was last modified: 18-02-2014 08:20 AM by Free.)
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
(17-02-2014 08:40 PM)Raptor Jesus Wrote:  I am now…and is true…a legally ordained Reverend/Minister.

A friend of mine got legally ordained just so that he could legally preform the marriage ceremony for his friend. They didn’t want to do it in a church or with clergy (they are atheist), but I guess you still need someone “official” to recognize it. But you can’t just be any one to preside over it. You have to at least go online and register for it, so my friend took care of it online. I was asking him about it, and it turned out it was so easy to do that I got ordained online too, so I am now legally an ordained Reverend/Minister.

I can now officially preside over marriage ceremonies. AND!!!! And this is the best part!!! I can now absolve you, or anyone, of their sins. So anyone out there who needs absolving, just let me know, and I’ll absolve you, sin free!

It’s actually pretty nice. Because we both did it, I can now absolve him of his sins, and he can absolve me of mine…done and done.

We still have to come up with our denomination name of the FSM. It only has the two of us in it so far.

You are the Son of The Flying Spaghetti Monster! You are He who was born in a big pot in a mobile home because there was no room at the Inn! Prophecy tells us that you will be sacrificed on top of Old Smokey, covered in cheesus!

Praise Cheesus!

We will write books about you.

How can anyone become an atheist when we are all born with no beliefs in the first place? We are atheists because we were born this way.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Free's post
18-02-2014, 08:28 AM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
(18-02-2014 08:16 AM)Free Wrote:  You are the Son of The Flying Spaghetti Monster! You are He who was born in a big pot in a mobile home because there was no room at the Inn! Prophecy tells us that you will be sacrificed on top of Old Smokey, covered in cheesus!

Praise Cheesus!

We will write books about you.

If he is the one and only begotten son of the FSM, wouldnt that make him a Ravioli Huh

Eh, nevermind, I'll write my version of the book and you write yours.... Angry Wink

If bullshit were music some people would be a brass band.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
18-02-2014, 08:41 AM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
Hmm, I want to be an atheist minister too... I could have shirts made and everything!

Atir aissom atir imon
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Im_Ryan's post
18-02-2014, 09:00 AM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
(17-02-2014 08:40 PM)Raptor Jesus Wrote:  We still have to come up with our denomination name of the FSM. It only has the two of us in it so far.

How about The Church of His Noodliness For Latter Day Pirates?

“Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.” - Mark Twain
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like WindyCityJazz's post
18-02-2014, 09:19 AM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
(17-02-2014 08:40 PM)Raptor Jesus Wrote:  I am now…and is true…a legally ordained Reverend/Minister.
The word "legally" implies that the government was involved. Wouldn't that violate the separation of church and state? Or was this outside the U.S.?

Can I get a Ph.D. online without studying and/or paying money?

Humans arrived on Earth on 22 October 4004 B.C. A few of us are still trying to repair the ship.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
18-02-2014, 10:29 AM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
Um I think you should be addressed as "The Right Reverend Raptor Jesus".

Sounds so much more....I dunno, pompous or something....

It's Special Pleadings all the way down!


Magic Talking Snakes STFU -- revenantx77


You can't have your special pleading and eat it too. -- WillHop
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Taqiyya Mockingbird's post
18-02-2014, 11:00 AM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
My friends and I did this a while ago. We all became Reverends (more like irreverands) and started our own church.

It is the Church of Brutal Candor. We bring you the words you don't want to hear.

We are founded on the principle of "Radical Darwinism". Core to our beliefs is that there are sharp corners in the world for a reason, and there needs to be more.

Any who engage in rational thought and possess critical thinking skills may join.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like itsnotmeitsyou's post
18-02-2014, 11:52 AM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
I want to be married to god!
Marry me, raptor, to a omnipotent being!
I also want to be married to my computer.

[Image: v0jpzpT.png]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Alex_Leonardo's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: