I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
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18-02-2014, 11:55 AM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
You should be called raptesus. (Raptor + jesus)
Pronounced rapt-tee-suss.

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18-02-2014, 11:58 AM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
Click here to become a atheist minister.

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18-02-2014, 12:29 PM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
(17-02-2014 08:40 PM)Raptor Jesus Wrote:  I am now…and is true…a legally ordained Reverend/Minister.

A friend of mine got legally ordained just so that he could legally preform the marriage ceremony for his friend. They didn’t want to do it in a church or with clergy (they are atheist), but I guess you still need someone “official” to recognize it. But you can’t just be any one to preside over it. You have to at least go online and register for it, so my friend took care of it online. I was asking him about it, and it turned out it was so easy to do that I got ordained online too, so I am now legally an ordained Reverend/Minister.

I can now officially preside over marriage ceremonies. AND!!!! And this is the best part!!! I can now absolve you, or anyone, of their sins. So anyone out there who needs absolving, just let me know, and I’ll absolve you, sin free!

It’s actually pretty nice. Because we both did it, I can now absolve him of his sins, and he can absolve me of mine…done and done.

We still have to come up with our denomination name of the FSM. It only has the two of us in it so far.


ThumbsupThumbsupThumbsup Kudos RevRap

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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18-02-2014, 12:40 PM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
(18-02-2014 07:34 AM)War Horse Wrote:  Hey ! Thats great ! Can you bless my motorcycle without getting spaghetti sauce all over it Huh

Well yes, yes I can!

His sauce is invisible, so he can shed his Ragú all over your motorcycle and bless it with his noodle appendages. As I type, His meatballness be done. Your bike has now been blessed by the FSM.

"For thine is the colander, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever."
~Ramen.

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18-02-2014, 12:44 PM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
(18-02-2014 08:41 AM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  Hmm, I want to be an atheist minister too... I could have shirts made and everything!

Well that's the idea really. It's mostly about the shirts, in the end.

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18-02-2014, 01:02 PM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
Can thy bless thine inner noodle and absolve thy sins? I have taketh the boiling water and dumpeth it into thy pan, and haveth boiledeth they spaghetti.
I want to go to thine flying spaghetti heaven, and drink thyne brew and enjoy thy factories...

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18-02-2014, 01:15 PM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
(18-02-2014 12:44 PM)Raptor Jesus Wrote:  
(18-02-2014 08:41 AM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  Hmm, I want to be an atheist minister too... I could have shirts made and everything!

Well that's the idea really. It's mostly about the shirts, in the end.

Hmm, no I refuse to believe that.
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I'll start my own boxers line as well Laugh out load

Atir aissom atir imon
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18-02-2014, 01:17 PM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
(18-02-2014 12:40 PM)Raptor Jesus Wrote:  
(18-02-2014 07:34 AM)War Horse Wrote:  Hey ! Thats great ! Can you bless my motorcycle without getting spaghetti sauce all over it Huh

Well yes, yes I can!

His sauce is invisible, so he can shed his Ragú all over your motorcycle and bless it with his noodle appendages. As I type, His meatballness be done. Your bike has now been blessed by the FSM.

"For thine is the colander, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever."
~Ramen.

Ramen ! Thank you Rev Rap, I shall go out and spread the good word of your greatness and deeds. Thumbsup

If bullshit were music some people would be a brass band.
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18-02-2014, 01:34 PM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
I'm also available for baptisms, too.

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18-02-2014, 05:06 PM
RE: I am now Reverend Raptor Jesus!
Wait... You're just going to absolve all these sins, without demanding to hear them first?? Come on, that's the best part!!! Laugh out load

Congrats Thumbsup

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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