I buried my dad today.
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
28-09-2017, 08:03 AM
RE: I buried my dad today.
Everyone's pretty much said everything I have to say. I just wish I could hug you for real.

Stay strong.

Hug

Ignorance is not to be ignored.

Check out my DA gallery! http://oo-kiri-oo.deviantart.com/gallery/
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
28-09-2017, 08:03 AM
RE: I buried my dad today.
Sorry for your loss KC.

The only thing I can offer is to remember him and everything he has done for you. The one part of being an Atheist, if any part if it sucks, is knowing that the end is the end.

However, whilst I don't believe in anything of that sort of stuff, and I apologise as it may sound a bit "woo", but he lives on in you and your family. Everything he has ever said to you/done for you has shaped the person you have become today, and you can pass that knowledge on. Like everybody else, we always feel like "children" when you compare yourself to your parents, but now it is time for you stand up tall and represent the family, and in this case, your father as well.

I can't really say/offer anything else, but recall the positive from his life, and not this "negative occasion" which is a funeral. Funerals should be happier times, not people crying with sadness, but crying with joy about a person that brought some happier times into their life.

Sorry if some of that sounds insensitive. All the best to you and your family.

Hug

The Helpful Atheist - An Information Blog
Last updated: 08/11/2017 - Want to contribute, drop me a PM
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
28-09-2017, 08:26 AM
RE: I buried my dad today.
(27-09-2017 09:34 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  I'll admit I'm not doing well. On the outside, I seem fine... stoic, even... but, I'm breaking apart on the inside.

I can never speak to or see my father again. I'll never call the house and have him pick up; never sit on his bed and talk football; never have him tell me how precious my kids are again; never watch him and my daughter color together or put a puzzle together. This is all so final. So... hopeless.

What made it worse was quite literally everyone that spoke to me at the funeral either said "he is in a better place" or "you'll see him again".

I wanted to scream out, "No, I won't! He's dead. His brain has ceased function. His humanity is gone. I can never, nor will I ever, get him back again!"

I found myself being jealous of their hope. I found myself wanting, trying to believe in that which I firmly believe is false. I couldn't do it.

Now, I'm faced with the task of acceptance... which I don't know if I can do. I am so sad... So torn apart. I miss my dad.

King, I'm really sorry. For the next year there won't be a moment that you won't think about your dad, after that you'll think of him every other moment. He WILL be with you always, until you die. Tell your children about him and your grandchildren.

But I'll post this for you. It's lovely. It's from the physicist Aaron Freeman.

AARON FREEMAN:

You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.

And at one point you'd hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.

And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.

And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be comforted to know your energy's still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly. Amen.



Take care, my friend.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like dancefortwo's post
28-09-2017, 09:11 AM
RE: I buried my dad today.
Wow... KC, old buddy... I'm so sorry. That is awful. My heart goes out to you and your family. If you ever need to talk, you can still PM me like you used to when you first came here to these boards. I don't yet know what it's like to suffer such a loss- only a small inkling, having lost two dogs this year who were part of my family. And that cannot even approach the pain of losing a dear family member and parent, I'm certain. But still, we grieve with you as much as we can. Hugs to you and yours.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
28-09-2017, 10:42 AM
RE: I buried my dad today.
(27-09-2017 09:34 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  I'll admit I'm not doing well. On the outside, I seem fine... stoic, even... but, I'm breaking apart on the inside.

I can never speak to or see my father again. I'll never call the house and have him pick up; never sit on his bed and talk football; never have him tell me how precious my kids are again; never watch him and my daughter color together or put a puzzle together. This is all so final. So... hopeless.

What made it worse was quite literally everyone that spoke to me at the funeral either said "he is in a better place" or "you'll see him again".

I wanted to scream out, "No, I won't! He's dead. His brain has ceased function. His humanity is gone. I can never, nor will I ever, get him back again!"

I found myself being jealous of their hope. I found myself wanting, trying to believe in that which I firmly believe is false. I couldn't do it.

Now, I'm faced with the task of acceptance... which I don't know if I can do. I am so sad... So torn apart. I miss my dad.

Oh I get it! Totally...Your thoughts and feelings resonated so deeply with me. The best I could ever come up with is "their suffering is over." or words to that effect.

It's hard but it does get easier to remember without it hurting so bad. That's what we have left, our memories. You'll share the stories with your children and they'll share those with their children one day. It becomes your family's oral history.

You're not alone. Hug and Heart


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Momsurroundedbyboys's post
28-09-2017, 10:51 AM
RE: I buried my dad today.
KC, sorry for your loss. Others have stated it before and probably more eloquently than I- He will always be a part of you. Be strong but don't be afraid to cry.

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored- Aldous Huxley
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
28-09-2017, 11:32 AM
RE: I buried my dad today.
I'm sorry for your loss, KC.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
28-09-2017, 04:08 PM
RE: I buried my dad today.
My thoughts are with you mate. Take care. Hug

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
28-09-2017, 04:46 PM
RE: I buried my dad today.
You have my condolences, KC!

I'm with Anj. Words won't do much good, but closeness to others you love, and who love you back, might. Heart

Grab QC, and your babies, into a group hug. Hold 'em close, and don't let go! Hug

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
28-09-2017, 05:04 PM
RE: I buried my dad today.
Oh... I am so sorry Sad (((Hugs)))

"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're probably on the menu."

[Image: parodia-michal-aniol-flying-spaghetti-monster.jpg]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: