I "came out", and it was glorious.
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23-02-2016, 11:34 AM
I "came out", and it was glorious.
My new medication (lithium) is really helping my mood to be balanced, and it's helping me to make my choices based upon my own logic, and not upon what feelings and emotions are driving me at that moment. It's extremely liberating, and I feel so wonderful.

The other night, I went home and had a chat with my mother. She asked me about school and all of that. Because she is who she is, she has to challenge me on absolutely everything, and it always comes as a big surprise to her when there are things going on in my head or in my life that I have not told her about. (Though, to be honest, she can be a very "fake" person, and for this reason I'm happy not to be in her company that often.) She asked me "and how are you doing with the whole 'God' thing". Feeling no anxiety or nerves, I told her bluntly "to be honest with you, I don't believe in God. I tried, and I just can't." She responded with a very shocked gasp (though she is not religious in the least and quite obviously makes up a "God" character in her head and uses it to comfort her, and to blame things on.) She responded with "after all of this time, you must know He is real." I told her that I absolutely do not, and that I am an Atheist - that word, the "A" word, is one she doesn't like, and it was empowering for me to declare myself as such. She was a bit upset, saying things like "then I don't even want to know what you think of my [deceased] parents." Honestly if I wasn't so exhausted at the time I would have told her exactly what I thought of everything, as she needs to be challenged for a change, but I didn't have it in me. I told her that a few of my friends are Atheists (literally three or four), and that they have helped me grow. She is concerned that I have changed my belief to "go with the flow", which is laughable.

Context - I have to be careful with my mother. For one, I have a lot of baggage with the things she did to end her relationship with my dad, and I must be aware of that when we communicate. Also, she is not college educated. She is not intellectual. She has read very few books in full (though she has read several written by "psychics" about ghosts and the afterlife as though they were religious scripture). I carry a lot of baggage. Also, she always complains that I make her feel stupid. Like when I was explaining why I do not believe in God and why it doesn't make sense for him/her/it/them to be real, or for a religion to be true, she told me she couldn't understand what I'm saying.

She doesn't understand that people grow. When I was 14 I was deeply religious (as much as one can be at that age), and she doesn't understand how I've changed. It's more and more difficult to communicate with her the more I learn at school, as there is just so much she doesn't understand which she really ought to. Like she thinks I have bipolar disorder because I'm gay, and that my atheism is a result of my mental illness. *fistpalm*

I also was texting with my little sister last night around 9:30pm. I decided it was as good a time as any to tell her I'm gay. She was so unsurprised, so I figured I'd just tell her who I really am (we have never been "real" with one another, and I desperately want to be friends with her, so this was a long time in coming.) She was fine with all of it, including my being an atheist. We ended up going to ihop at 11pm and talking for hours and hours. She has so many issues with my mother, as well. It was so good to talk about that. (I can't wait until my sister finishes community college and leaves home for a 4-year university, which my mother does not want her to do, but which I understand to be essential for her wellbeing).

Sharing who I really am is scary at first. But as a logical person, I doing nothing wrong, and so therefor knowing me is a privilege I am happy to let others experience. Wink

Just wanted to share that. It was a big moment for me, both to stand up to my ridiculous mother and to bond with my sister.

I've found the following quote to be so empowering, and written by one of my personal heros. I shared it with my mother and sister. It's just lovely...

“The only position that leaves me with no cognitive dissonance is atheism. It is not a creed. Death is certain, replacing both the siren-song of Paradise and the dread of Hell. Life on this earth, with all its mystery and beauty and pain, is then to be lived far more intensely: we stumble and get up, we are sad, confident, insecure, feel loneliness and joy and love. There is nothing more; but I want nothing more.” ― Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Infidel
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23-02-2016, 11:41 AM
RE: I "came out", and it was glorious.
Awesome!!! Congratulations and all my best wishes for your continued good mental health!!!
You've shown great courage!!

Your faith is not evidence, your opinion is not fact, and your bias is not wisdom
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23-02-2016, 11:44 AM
RE: I "came out", and it was glorious.
Congrats! I hope you hang on to the strength so you can smooth out any bumpy road that may come your way. Smile

[Image: dnw9krH.jpg?4]
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23-02-2016, 11:53 AM
RE: I "came out", and it was glorious.
Awesome. I imagine it's very liberating to become you like that.
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23-02-2016, 12:00 PM
RE: I "came out", and it was glorious.
Congrats!

Being true to yourself is quite possibly the most freeing thing you can ever do.
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23-02-2016, 12:49 PM
RE: I "came out", and it was glorious.
I am so happy for you...you must feel wonderful to have been able to bond with your sister and be honest with your mother...congratulations, and I admire you for it.
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23-02-2016, 02:38 PM
RE: I "came out", and it was glorious.
Good for you!! I tried it, but my mother said, "Please never use that word (atheist) around me ever again.."

I tried, however, and feel good about that.

"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?" -Epicurus (341-270B.C.E.)
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23-02-2016, 02:56 PM
RE: I "came out", and it was glorious.
Yey! And am so glad your meds are working so well for you. You've come such a long way. And bonding with your sister is just great! Congrats! Thumbsup

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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23-02-2016, 05:37 PM
RE: I "came out", and it was glorious.
Sounds like it was a great day and great way to start your new life! Thumbsup

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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23-02-2016, 06:07 PM
RE: I "came out", and it was glorious.
Congratulations! I am so glad you are happy and free!

Love the quote you chose as well!
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