I can't fool myself into believing in god anymore, now I'm too depressed I wanna die.
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01-11-2014, 02:52 PM
RE: I can't fool myself into believing in god anymore, now I'm too depressed I wanna die.
(23-10-2014 12:14 PM)Bishoy.Adel Wrote:  I was a christian till 15, a friend was slapped on the face for being a christian so I left Christianity because what's the point in praying to a god that won't protect his "children"... after 3 years I returned to the church, and after a year and a half I started reading about science, and I saw that the logic was with the big bang and evolution not a god that created the world in 6 days and created a man from the dust and a woman from his rib, since then I'm an atheist, I'm now 21 years old, and I would want to believe in a protector but I can't believe in a weak god, I can't believe in a god that lets a kid be slapped for believing in him because this god promised that he will be with us till the end of times, I can't believe in a god that doesn't fulfill his promises, but this isn't the problem.

I feel that I'm resisting that thought that god doesn't exist, because I feel alone and unprotected in a cruel world... I know that god doesn't exist, but I'm too depressed, I lost my motives to live, I mean my motives are my family and my "future love" but what's the point in living for people that will die and never be there anymore!!!I mean I want to die myself because what's the point in waiting for death? I now find myself sometimes singing christian songs, and whenever I'm near a church I enter, I don't know why but it seems that I can't just accept the thought that there's no purpose for us and we will die eventually and everything we made will have no meaning (I mean the universe itself will die someday), So I want to ask the atheists here how did you come to terms with the fact that you're uncovered, that you, your family, your wife/husband, the celebrities you love and the universe itself will not be there anymore, how do you continue everyday knowing that if you died today, that'll be it!! in college I was talkative and to some extent social and so but now I'm too blue and depressed to even talk to people because I now am without hope, please help me to accept the fact that there's no god, and please everybody, don't be mean to me for posting this question.

If you're feeling alone, and vulnerable because you've lost your faith in God, just remember that he was never there anyway... Everything you've done in your life, everything you've survived you did without divine intervention.

You are no more alone or vulnerable than you ever were, and there is no reason to think you can't go on, or can't cope, because you already know that you can.

What you'll realize is that God was nothing more than a figment of your imagination, that maybe gave you a lift when you were feeling a bit down or troubled... But if the shit ever did hit the fan you can guarantee that your imaginary friend wouldn't come to the rescue.

Surround yourself with real people, who love and care for you... Watch their back, and they'll watch yours. That's how our species has survived. If God and miracles were real, we'd have no need of emergency services, or healthcare... They are systems that humans have built to make life bearable on this planet.

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01-11-2014, 08:49 PM
RE: I can't fool myself into believing in god anymore, now I'm too depressed I wanna die.
I really didn't want to post this, but I feel it may help you. I've had a few suicide attempts in my life that landed me in the hospital. Just as a heads up, suicide attempts hurt. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I can't even put into words the amount of physical pain I had when I woke up each time. It's not fun. Keep that in mind: many attempts don't succeed, but the memory of that pain isn't one I want you to have. I don't know you, I'm not your friend (hey, I'm being honest; we just met), but I do not want you to go through that.

Many people would immediately think that, hey, I've survived possibly terminal illnesses and suicide attempts that it would cement my belief in deities. To be honest, it doesn't. Think about this: A deity wouldn't really much care if each of us lives or dies. Do you care if one individual ant lives to get food?

We don't have a meaning in life. But... here's the thing: We have to give ourselves meaning. I can't tell you what to live for, what to do, what to say, what to think, or what to set goals for. I can tell you to stop looking for a meaning to your life. It's up to you to make up your own meaning. As has been said, we weren't alive, and we won't be in a thousand years. One day we'll all be forgotten. That doesn't depress me. Instead, I like to think that maybe some part of me, even one carbon atom, was once part of someone who saved a life, a thinker, an artist, a loved one, a star, a planet, anything.

It's a strange thing to think that some parts of life are easier to accept when there is no deity. We're all part of an inescapable part of birth, life, death, and creation. It may just be that I've always been fascinated by space, but the idea of us being part of that cycle intrigues me.

Life won't suddenly get easy if you accept your own physical destiny or your meaning. I'm not going to sugarcoat it and say you'll wake up one day and be happy. I still fight my depression every single day of my life, and I may just have to do that for the rest of my life. You may soon be happy; you and I are different. Every person that has posted here has some level of caring that I'm glad you've seen. We're unique and each of our paths is unique.

What I will say to you is that the only way you'll know is if you stick around, fight, and sally forth with the gusto of a berserk warrior who doesn't take shit from anyone.
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02-11-2014, 08:21 PM
RE: I can't fool myself into believing in god anymore, now I'm too depressed I wanna die.
(23-10-2014 12:14 PM)Bishoy.Adel Wrote:  I was a christian till 15, a friend was slapped on the face for being a christian so I left Christianity because what's the point in praying to a god that won't protect his "children"... after 3 years I returned to the church, and after a year and a half I started reading about science, and I saw that the logic was with the big bang and evolution not a god that created the world in 6 days and created a man from the dust and a woman from his rib, since then I'm an atheist, I'm now 21 years old, and I would want to believe in a protector but I can't believe in a weak god, I can't believe in a god that lets a kid be slapped for believing in him because this god promised that he will be with us till the end of times, I can't believe in a god that doesn't fulfill his promises, but this isn't the problem.

I feel that I'm resisting that thought that god doesn't exist, because I feel alone and unprotected in a cruel world... I know that god doesn't exist, but I'm too depressed, I lost my motives to live, I mean my motives are my family and my "future love" but what's the point in living for people that will die and never be there anymore!!!I mean I want to die myself because what's the point in waiting for death? I now find myself sometimes singing christian songs, and whenever I'm near a church I enter, I don't know why but it seems that I can't just accept the thought that there's no purpose for us and we will die eventually and everything we made will have no meaning (I mean the universe itself will die someday), So I want to ask the atheists here how did you come to terms with the fact that you're uncovered, that you, your family, your wife/husband, the celebrities you love and the universe itself will not be there anymore, how do you continue everyday knowing that if you died today, that'll be it!! in college I was talkative and to some extent social and so but now I'm too blue and depressed to even talk to people because I now am without hope, please help me to accept the fact that there's no god, and please everybody, don't be mean to me for posting this question.

I feel like I too am resisting the idea of a godless world. I think that this is at the root of my recent spike of anxiety/panic attacks. I envision that on some level within my mind I really want is wrestling(and losing) with I know. I feel some solace in the fact that there is another who I can so closely identify with.. Perhaps you can too. Hearing your story made me tear up, and feel a lot of comfort. You are not alone.

There is nothing wrong in hoping for a better scenario to entertain in the future in my opinion. This is not to say that we should disregard what we know, but to realize what we know is so little
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02-11-2014, 08:27 PM
RE: I can't fool myself into believing in god anymore, now I'm too depressed I wanna die.
FYI, I'm gonna move this thread to the personal issues section. I think it's a great thread, and more people will benefit from it in that section. Better visibility for people looking for support and inspiration.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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02-11-2014, 09:03 PM
RE: I can't fool myself into believing in god anymore, now I'm too depressed I wanna die.
(02-11-2014 08:27 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  FYI, I'm gonna move this thread to the personal issues section. I think it's a great thread, and more people will benefit from it in that section. Better visibility for people looking for support and inspiration.

I said in my introduction post earlier today that Im not a athiest as I do believe in a god/gods/supreme being,,,,and Ive found myself wondering all day now WHY I do. The answers I came up with were pretty weak...

I think a part of me is trying to hold on to something that 'feels' safe? A protector, a higher power who is in control when I cant be..?

So to the OP...I agree with Stark, this is a good thread with alot of sincere insight

My Karma ran over your Dogma
- I have no clue who said it...I just think its funny
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02-11-2014, 09:14 PM
RE: I can't fool myself into believing in god anymore, now I'm too depressed I wanna die.
(02-11-2014 09:03 PM)WhatWasIThinking Wrote:  
(02-11-2014 08:27 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  FYI, I'm gonna move this thread to the personal issues section. I think it's a great thread, and more people will benefit from it in that section. Better visibility for people looking for support and inspiration.

I said in my introduction post earlier today that Im not a athiest as I do believe in a god/gods/supreme being,,,,and Ive found myself wondering all day now WHY I do. The answers I came up with were pretty weak...

I think a part of me is trying to hold on to something that 'feels' safe? A protector, a higher power who is in control when I cant be..?

So to the OP...I agree with Stark, this is a good thread with alot of sincere insight
Control is a tough one hey? I think that's what keeps a lot of people holding on to their beliefs. And it makes sense too...I mean shit, we all feel better when we know someone who knows what they are doing is behind the wheel. But one of the most liberating parts of atheism is stepping through that imaginary doorway from your warm cozy room into the cold outdoors, only to find that it's not so scary after all. Your life continues. You still eat when your hungry and smile when a puppy licks your face. You get to keep all the feels that you have now, and also get to enjoy the excitement of not knowing what's around the next corner.

It's a wild ride. Sometimes scary. Okay, often scary. But fuck it. Throw up your hands and start screaming. You only get to ride once.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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02-11-2014, 09:18 PM
RE: I can't fool myself into believing in god anymore, now I'm too depressed I wanna die.
To me, atheism is about not believing in something for which there is no hard evidence. With life, we get one kick at the can so by not believing in an after life, we need to try to make the best of the one we are living now. When I used to struggled with very difficult decisions, I'd head out for a long walk. Only when I began to tire a bit did I turn for home. By the time I got there, I was physically pooped but the answers were clear.
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02-11-2014, 09:32 PM
RE: I can't fool myself into believing in god anymore, now I'm too depressed I wanna die.
(02-11-2014 09:14 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  
(02-11-2014 09:03 PM)WhatWasIThinking Wrote:  I said in my introduction post earlier today that Im not a athiest as I do believe in a god/gods/supreme being,,,,and Ive found myself wondering all day now WHY I do. The answers I came up with were pretty weak...

I think a part of me is trying to hold on to something that 'feels' safe? A protector, a higher power who is in control when I cant be..?

So to the OP...I agree with Stark, this is a good thread with alot of sincere insight
Control is a tough one hey? I think that's what keeps a lot of people holding on to their beliefs. And it makes sense too...I mean shit, we all feel better when we know someone who knows what they are doing is behind the wheel. But one of the most liberating parts of atheism is stepping through that imaginary doorway from your warm cozy room into the cold outdoors, only to find that it's not so scary after all. Your life continues. You still eat when your hungry and smile when a puppy licks your face. You get to keep all the feels that you have now, and also get to enjoy the excitement of not knowing what's around the next corner.

It's a wild ride. Sometimes scary. Okay, often scary. But fuck it. Throw up your hands and start screaming. You only get to ride once.

True...everyone wants or needs a lil control huh,..lol

Honestly tho..even a god that has the 'wheel' seems to fail alot at being in control..at least for me anyway. My faith has proven out to be misplaced ...so much so that I might as well have been in control myself all along (if that made sense...lol)

Add to that cold outdoors, that I dont have to fail every day at things that are impossible to achieve based on biblical requirements

My Karma ran over your Dogma
- I have no clue who said it...I just think its funny
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02-11-2014, 09:37 PM
RE: I can't fool myself into believing in god anymore, now I'm too depressed I wanna die.
(23-10-2014 12:14 PM)Bishoy.Adel Wrote:  I was a christian till 15, a friend was slapped on the face for being a christian so I left Christianity because what's the point in praying to a god that won't protect his "children"... after 3 years I returned to the church, and after a year and a half I started reading about science, and I saw that the logic was with the big bang and evolution not a god that created the world in 6 days and created a man from the dust and a woman from his rib, since then I'm an atheist, I'm now 21 years old, and I would want to believe in a protector but I can't believe in a weak god, I can't believe in a god that lets a kid be slapped for believing in him because this god promised that he will be with us till the end of times, I can't believe in a god that doesn't fulfill his promises, but this isn't the problem.

I feel that I'm resisting that thought that god doesn't exist, because I feel alone and unprotected in a cruel world... I know that god doesn't exist, but I'm too depressed, I lost my motives to live, I mean my motives are my family and my "future love" but what's the point in living for people that will die and never be there anymore!!!I mean I want to die myself because what's the point in waiting for death? I now find myself sometimes singing christian songs, and whenever I'm near a church I enter, I don't know why but it seems that I can't just accept the thought that there's no purpose for us and we will die eventually and everything we made will have no meaning (I mean the universe itself will die someday), So I want to ask the atheists here how did you come to terms with the fact that you're uncovered, that you, your family, your wife/husband, the celebrities you love and the universe itself will not be there anymore, how do you continue everyday knowing that if you died today, that'll be it!! in college I was talkative and to some extent social and so but now I'm too blue and depressed to even talk to people because I now am without hope, please help me to accept the fact that there's no god, and please everybody, don't be mean to me for posting this question.


For me, one of the hardest things in my deconversion when I was a Christian and slowly giving up religion was coming to terms with what you are dealing with. The realization that it was all bullshit, that I had been wasting my time, there was no afterlife.

I had a mixture of emotions ranging from complete anger, to empty and deep depression.

I think it's normal to feel that way when you realize that all the things you were told for so long are not true and you realize how reality is.

But then there is a more beautiful reality, the actual reality that you are surrounded with.

- You aren't made for the selfish purpose of some cruel deity. All that primitive bullshit that tells you that you are a terrible, pitiful, unworthy human being? It's all shit. YOU are a human being, you are awesome, you are life itself, you are conscious, you are incredible. You also have been lucky enough to be born here, and now. This is the most technologically advanced time to live in. It's interesting as can be, and you get to live longer than your ancestors and soak that all in.

- You don't have to worry about the selfish constructs of the afterlife or eternal punishment. YOU are responsible for your actions, not because you are told to or because a book says so, but because YOU are a good person. That's all you, YOU! Be proud of being awesome because you are an awesome person. Be proud of being a good person because you are a good person. When you put away childish and primitive things, you give your chance to be here, now, and expand your views and view things as they are, not how people want you to see them.

- You are responsible for your life. There is no eternal guidance, there is no selfish deity that gives more shits about you than the starving children in africa. YOU are responsible for your life, your actions, your life. When you do great things, OWN THAT SHIT. YOU did that, be proud. You don't need to praise some imaginary deity. No dude, YOU did that. Be proud of your accomplishments because they are yours.

- You are the only time that you will be conscious in life. You are here because you are made of star stuff, because this planet is capable of harboring life, and because it was such that life evolved here. Everything came from the same infinitesimal point. That means the matter in the stars and Andromeda, the matter in the stars of the star clusters spread throughout the galaxy, it all came from the same infinitesimal point. You are, in the very literal essence of what can be considered the universe, capable of viewing itself. You will never in your life have another chance to be a part of the universe that can do that, you will get to experience it once and that is it. I would give that up for nothing.

- You, along with everyone else you know, and everything you have become, are responsible for defining your purpose. There is no need to feel like a worthless human being because you are told so by a pastor, and that your only purpose is to serve a primitive and selfish sky daddy. Now is your time to shine, you are in charge of your life, you are accountable to society, you are accountable for your actions. You are accountable for your perspective. Again, you are a part of the universe capable of viewing and understanding itself. If you can understand that, and you can let that resonate, the idea of needing an intrinsic purpose from a shitty sky daddy floats away and you realize that you are capable of so much more than feeling like an incapable or incompetent individual. You are amazing, you get to decide what defines you. You get to find your purpose. No need to pray, no need to kneel, YOU are the universe my friend, feel awesome about it. Don't be sorry about it, enjoy it, LOVE IT.

You will never have another chance to discover reality, as beautiful or ugly as it may be at times. But you, you have the chance to understand it, for the short time that we are alive. For all we know, we are the only life out there, or we may not be. But we are the only life that we know of. We are a tiny microscopic piece of the universe by comparison. But we are the only part of the universe that we know of, that is conscious and capable of understanding itself.

I want to share this with you, and when he says there is "a problem" with the big bang and evolution, he means that the issue with most people is that reality is so incredible that it is sometimes unbelievable. Give it a look Smile I hope it puts you in a good mood.



Official ordained minister of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Please pm me with prayer requests to his noodly goodness. Remember, he boiled for your sins and loves you. Carbo Diem! RAmen.
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02-11-2014, 09:39 PM
RE: I can't fool myself into believing in god anymore, now I'm too depressed I wanna die.
(02-11-2014 09:32 PM)WhatWasIThinking Wrote:  
(02-11-2014 09:14 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  Control is a tough one hey? I think that's what keeps a lot of people holding on to their beliefs. And it makes sense too...I mean shit, we all feel better when we know someone who knows what they are doing is behind the wheel. But one of the most liberating parts of atheism is stepping through that imaginary doorway from your warm cozy room into the cold outdoors, only to find that it's not so scary after all. Your life continues. You still eat when your hungry and smile when a puppy licks your face. You get to keep all the feels that you have now, and also get to enjoy the excitement of not knowing what's around the next corner.

It's a wild ride. Sometimes scary. Okay, often scary. But fuck it. Throw up your hands and start screaming. You only get to ride once.

True...everyone wants or needs a lil control huh,..lol

Honestly tho..even a god that has the 'wheel' seems to fail alot at being in control..at least for me anyway. My faith has proven out to be misplaced ...so much so that I might as well have been in control myself all along (if that made sense...lol)

Add to that cold outdoors, that I dont have to fail every day at things that are impossible to achieve based on biblical requirements

You're gonna be just fine. In fact, I'd say you're an atheist already. You're just struggling a little with coming out to yourself.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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