(24-12-2012 04:31 PM)Luminon Wrote:
(24-12-2012 02:58 PM)Science Believer Wrote: I will agree... kinda. As a person who was bullied as a child, I have found that the best way to handle a bully is to fight back. When I have kids, I will train them in Martial Arts, just like I was, and teach them how to fight back. If a bully bothers them at school, and the teachers/administrators don't do anything about it, my kid will go with me to the child's house and I'll watch as my kid beats the crap out of them.
That may sound like a solution, but in most cases it won't help. Beating up a bully works like for three weeks, then he needs another beating. It doesn't work when there are whole freakin' classes of bullies (usually jocks) plus miscellaneous classmates. And it doesn't work when the bullying isn't physical but emotional, verbal, setting up, shunning and so on.
The only thing that works against bullying is to fit in. To have friends, to be in a collective, to not be alone. And some people just can't do that. In my class, we had a "healthy core" of drinkers and smokers and then the rest of loners who were pathologically incapable of hanging out together. I must say, the "healthy core" members sometimes tried to provoke some kind of response from the outsiders by lesser or greater shock therapy, but it didn't really work.
Sometimes I dream of a peer therapy class. Are there any kids who are not too fucked up or self-centered to take in some outsiders and train them in the fine art of hanging out together? No, that's too hopeful. Perhaps a school club equipped with a safe supervised computer room, a psychologist and an after school program of acting skills, careful restoring the physique and weight loss.
As for what can we do, we should teach our kids to watch out for bullies and beat them up if they bully someone else. Not that mind your own business stuff. Not only bullies are despicable creatures, they should also scare the hell out of everyone. Perhaps they won't mow down a half of class with a gun themselves, but can bring others into a small personal concentration camp of their own and eventually to a breaking point.
I don't think mass shootings invalidate bullying.
It denotes weak coping skills, and shouldn't be praised as you think. Cho in Virginia Tech wasn't even being bullied.