I don't get this.
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06-01-2016, 09:40 AM
RE: I don't get this.
(06-01-2016 12:29 AM)Stark Raving Wrote:  
(05-01-2016 11:29 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  Because you not asking me to spend my life with or fuck the book club. It's not a preference of company but of desire. Replace race/belief with fat/skinny. Is it discrimination or preference to desire a thin person over a fat person or vice versa? What about blondes over brunets or blue eyed over brown eyed? Humans are visual beings and desire for your mate is much more complex than simple friendship or acquaintance.

And putting gender in the equation is another level of complexity. There are people who have no preference and will date either gender but most have a strong preference for one or the other. Is that a discrimination? Nature or nurture?

Now you're seeing what I'm getting at. You have certain criteria for which you interchange preference for prejudice. You even gave an example....fucking. So when you decide to fuck someone, you can chose or eliminate them based on race, belief, eye colour, weight, gender, and etc. I agree with you (well, gender maybe not, I'm one of those weirdos that likes innies and outies), and my question (for you AND me) is why do certain things, like sex or living with someone, get the "preference" title? What's special about those things? What is it about them that makes it preference and not discrimination?

I thought I answered that already. Because of the intimacy that is a direct result of desire. I can like some, even find them attractive but that doesn't mean I have desire for them. Chemistry is instinctual, nature not nurture. You can fight nature and not give into it but you can not manufacture it, IMO. You can lie to yourself but that's a different thing.

I still stand that preference is different than discrimination, otherwise there would be no taking gender out of this convo either. Gender preference would (by your argument) just as discriminatory. If you take out preference then basically what you are saying is that you should love/like/lust for every person or you are prejudice. Do you see that as viable? Are there any other animals that do that? No, animals have mating preferences just like humans. Some mix of desire and instinctual knowledge of breeding up.

It also comes down to right to choose. Again, at what point is it preference over discriminatory, that answer is choosing a mate because of the acts and desires of intimacy and breeding.

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06-01-2016, 10:02 AM (This post was last modified: 06-01-2016 10:06 AM by Tomasia.)
RE: I don't get this.
(05-01-2016 05:02 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/756131...ght-people

So a website in the states (of course it's in the states) is called "wherewhitepeoplemeet.com" is a dating site for white people. It has billboards and everything.

What I don't get is the issue with it. I'm with the owners on this, there's dating sites for many different groups based on religion, skin colour, ethnicity, sexuality etc..
You're black and want to meet other black people? There's dating sites out there for you. Christian and wanna meet other Christians? There's dating sites for you. Etc..

How is this any different??

The article says that it's different because the states has a history of white supremacy. And yea it does, a really bad one, but this is 2016. The key word is 'history'. And yes it still happens but how many black people hate white people? How many Christians hate Atheists? Atheists hate Christians?

Everyone speaks of equality but nobody wants it. Women want to be treated equally but than they turn around and expect you to hold the door open for them just because they're a women. Black people want to be treated equally but suddenly it's ok for them to have their own dating sites and not okay for whites to have their own in response. Equality means equality and it applies to everyone.

I think the problem with any group or organization so blazingly catering to "whites", is that they can't rid themselves of the stench of white supremacy, it comes as a means of white people to separate themselves as better, purer, etc than other races. None of this need to be true of course, but perception is plagued by the history here. The site seems more like a marketing ploy, because I fail to see what sort of potential match you'd expect to find on a site like this, as opposed to Match, or eHarmony, in which most participants are white already. So it's becomes easy to see it as a way for white racist to find other white racist.

So there's BET, Indian Matrimonial sites, etc.. but they lack the same association or similar history, which they all may be in celebration or the exclusivity of a particular culture, it tends not to be about the superiority of one race over the other. BET being less like the White Powers groups, and more like CMT.

"Tell me, muse, of the storyteller who has been thrust to the edge of the world, both an infant and an ancient, and through him reveal everyman." ---Homer the aged poet.

"In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it."
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06-01-2016, 10:58 AM
RE: I don't get this.
(06-01-2016 10:02 AM)Tomasia Wrote:  
(05-01-2016 05:02 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/756131...ght-people

So a website in the states (of course it's in the states) is called "wherewhitepeoplemeet.com" is a dating site for white people. It has billboards and everything.

What I don't get is the issue with it. I'm with the owners on this, there's dating sites for many different groups based on religion, skin colour, ethnicity, sexuality etc..
You're black and want to meet other black people? There's dating sites out there for you. Christian and wanna meet other Christians? There's dating sites for you. Etc..

How is this any different??

The article says that it's different because the states has a history of white supremacy. And yea it does, a really bad one, but this is 2016. The key word is 'history'. And yes it still happens but how many black people hate white people? How many Christians hate Atheists? Atheists hate Christians?

Everyone speaks of equality but nobody wants it. Women want to be treated equally but than they turn around and expect you to hold the door open for them just because they're a women. Black people want to be treated equally but suddenly it's ok for them to have their own dating sites and not okay for whites to have their own in response. Equality means equality and it applies to everyone.

I think the problem with any group or organization so blazingly catering to "whites", is that they can't rid themselves of the stench of white supremacy, it comes as a means of white people to separate themselves as better, purer, etc than other races. None of this need to be true of course, but perception is plagued by the history here. The site seems more like a marketing ploy, because I fail to see what sort of potential match you'd expect to find on a site like this, as opposed to Match, or eHarmony, in which most participants are white already. So it's becomes easy to see it as a way for white racist to find other white racist.

So there's BET, Indian Matrimonial sites, etc.. but they lack the same association or similar history, which they all may be in celebration or the exclusivity of a particular culture, it tends not to be about the superiority of one race over the other. BET being less like the White Powers groups, and more like CMT.

Oh I totally agree. But in the end all of those sites are saying "this is what I want or this is what is good enough for me to consider and this is what is not". The complaints though are about perception and nit pickiness. I said before for those who have a bitch about this, they need to get a life. As for people separating themselves off from others I think it's okay sometimes and not others. That just my preferences and yes sometimes it's discriminatory. I prefer female doctors, they must be good doctors first but when I change for some reason, as I did when I moved 4yrs ago, I went looking for another female doctor.

If I went to a gym I would seek one out that had separate changing/showering facilities (this, I think, will be changing in the future to many places having co-ed) because I don't want to change and shower in front of strange men (I don't particularly want to do it in front of strange women either so I would prefer to have individual small rooms like at roadside camps). If I went to a spa I would want a female masseuse or waxier as well (I don't do these things but if I did, this is what I would want). Is it prejudice, maybe but I don't really care. I'm paying and I'm entitled to get want I want or go somewhere where I can or not have it at all.

It's less about what I don't like and more about what I do like or what I feel comfortable with.

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06-01-2016, 11:09 AM
RE: I don't get this.
If you take out preference then basically what you are saying is that you should love/like/lust for every person or you are prejudice. Do you see that as viable? Are there any other animals that do that? No, animals have mating preferences just like humans.

Not true at all!


I don't believe this at all, have you ever seen a male dog checking out a female dog for anything except her smell when she is in heat. I know I have heard flighty persons talk about their dog's girl friend, but these same people usually refer to themselves as the dog's mommy or daddy.
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06-01-2016, 11:28 AM
RE: I don't get this.
It'll be a good day when people stop looking for shit to be offended about. Some white people prefer dating whites? Holy crap, who'da thunk it?
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06-01-2016, 11:36 AM
RE: I don't get this.
(06-01-2016 11:28 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  It'll be a good day when people stop looking for shit to be offended about. Some white people prefer dating whites? Holy crap, who'da thunk it?

That's the thing I don't think anyone is actually offended by this. Much like when the whole #BoycottStarWars thing was getting all the hype if you trace it back there is no actual group of people here. This is a clickbait story with no grounding in reality.

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06-01-2016, 01:09 PM
RE: I don't get this.
I suppose I'll have to take your word for it. :shrug:
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06-01-2016, 01:48 PM
RE: I don't get this.
(06-01-2016 11:28 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  It'll be a good day when people stop looking for shit to be offended about. Some white people prefer dating whites? Holy crap, who'da thunk it?

I read somewhere that people tend to be physically attracted to people who look like themselves.... 2 or 3rd cousins seems to be the "ideal" - of close, but not too close........

Except in Arkansas.......

The rules are "different" there...

Wink

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06-01-2016, 03:31 PM
RE: I don't get this.
(05-01-2016 05:37 PM)Revenant77x Wrote:  The rest are to counter the prevailing discrimination already there.
"positive" discrimination is counter productive.
In Malaysia the Malaysians don't have to get such high grades to become Doctors but the Chinese need to get higher grades. As a consequence sick people seek out Chinese doctors rather than Malaysian ones.

I am whole heatedly against "positive" discrimination.
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06-01-2016, 04:19 PM
RE: I don't get this.
(06-01-2016 06:06 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(05-01-2016 07:00 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  I like the door being opened for me, why is it limited to just females?
The point is not necessarily the door, it refers to all that 'chivalry' shit. I'm not against doing things like for people, I think it's a nice gesture and all that stuff. But I have a problem with women expecting guys to do that sort of thing for them just because they're a women. Why shouldn't she do it for him just because he has a dick and not a lady tunnel? Equality means equality.

Did I say anything about just females? It has nothing to do with male or female, it has to do with making another person feel good, or helping them when they have both hands full or whatever. It started when women were wearing extremely restrictive clothing and moving was troublesome. A courteous man would help her to avoid having to bend at the waist, and if such a thing was necessary (like getting out of a coach) they would assist by opening the door and lending a hand. It had a purpose back then.

Now it's just an old cultural thing - the male/female aspect that is.

The aspect of helping another hasn't changed. I always open doors for people with packages, or little kids, or older people who look frail, or anyone who seems flustered by the door.

You are dragging out a custom that is hundreds of years old and trying to apply it to the present to make a point. Fail.

The original custom has lost it's validity, but the concept still applies.

That's interesting actually, I never thought about it as a "purpose" back in the day but that makes sense.

My post wasn't directed at you personally by the way, I just mean people in general that hold the view that men should do those things for women simply because they are women. It's mostly held by women but there are a lot of men that hold that view too. Whereas my view is the same as yours that you should do it regardless of gender because it's courteous.

Quote:40 years ago I worked for a company pumping out septic tanks. On the competitions truck one fine day sprouted signs that said "All Black Owned and Operated." SO my boss put "All White Owned and Operated." on our trucks, and the black guy sued our boss. Somehow the judge decided that the one was as bad as the other and he ordered the black guy to hire a white person within the next 30 days and also my boss was required to hire a black guy! When the cmpetitor advertised I applied and was hired and that is how I came to work for a company and was "The token white man!"

Lol

Quote:I think the problem with any group or organization so blazingly catering to "whites", is that they can't rid themselves of the stench of white supremacy, it comes as a means of white people to separate themselves as better, purer, etc than other races. None of this need to be true of course, but perception is plagued by the history here. The site seems more like a marketing ploy, because I fail to see what sort of potential match you'd expect to find on a site like this, as opposed to Match, or eHarmony, in which most participants are white already. So it's becomes easy to see it as a way for white racist to find other white racist.

So there's BET, Indian Matrimonial sites, etc.. but they lack the same association or similar history, which they all may be in celebration or the exclusivity of a particular culture, it tends not to be about the superiority of one race over the other. BET being less like the White Powers groups, and more like CMT.

But is it their fault that people have that perception of their site?
Is that bowing out to "reverse" racism if they were to shut down because of it?

Quote:I certainly used the word "discrimination" to be provocative. In your example, what happens when the variable changes? Instead of the group, change the activity. Then what happens? If you change dating to bowling, I'd say you're discriminating in both cases (race and religion). You'd probably agree too. So why do we both (remember I'm challenging something we both feel the same about) give that one aspect a pass? Why is it preference when you date exclusively <insert race/gender/belief> but discrimination when you apply the same criteria to the people you invite to your book club?

I get what you're saying. Why is favoring one person over another, ie: black or white. when it comes to dating not considered racist but if you wanna bowl with whites only that's racist.

I think the answer is simply that 'we can't help who we're attracted too'. And so it's accepted for people to be discriminating as hell when it comes to dating but not things that we have an actual choice over such as bowling buddies.

Something that would be racist maybe is as a white person only dating white people because you hate black people, even though you still find black people attractive.


Something that would be interesting to do a study on would be the relationship (lolpun) between attraction and racist attitudes. ie: Are people not attracted to black people more likely to be racist towards black people.
And than, are they not attracted to black people because they're racist or racist because they're not attracted.

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