I don't know if i want to be a christian anymore?
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27-11-2013, 02:52 AM
I don't know if i want to be a christian anymore?
So this might be a weird question on an atheist forum since i don't consider myself an atheist, but i would appreciate some feedback as i always get biased answers from other christians. It is a long story but i think it is important to describe how i got to my current mindset.

I have grown up in a very strict christian family and only had other christian friends growing up. I was home schooled so i didn't have much interaction with other non-christians, so i guess you could say i was very sheltered. Anyway i recently started university this year and it was my first time living away from my parents, and i could make my own decisions. I met new christian friends but obviously most of the people i met were non-christian. At first i judged most of these people for how they lived their lives, like how they would get drunk and have sex etc. But when i got to know them i realized that a lot of them were really nice people and i consider some of them my closest friends.

One big issue that arose while i was at university was that issue of gay marriage. I always believed that homosexuality was wrong and i opposed gay marriage. I had discussions about this with some of my friends but i always stuck to my beliefs and never really listened.
I have watched porn for quite a while and although i know it is a sin, i continued to do it anyway. All my christian friends (the guys) watched porn aswell so i didn't feel like i was doing anything wrong and it was just normal. I also only watch lesbian and solo porn. I never really thought of it as hypocritical until i realized that i deny 2 women the right to get married but then i go home and get off to 2 women having sex. I was feeling guilty about this so one day i actually listened to one of my friends and he explained that just because i don't agree with gay marriage that doesn't mean i have the right to push my views onto other people. I realized that it was wrong of me to oppose gay marriage.

This lead me to question my own beliefs. I realized that my trust and belief has been in the church and my family/friands because that is how i have grown up and all ive ever known. It has been more of a lifestyle for me than an actual faith. My friends at university have also explained to me about evolution (something i had very little understanding of before) and i even started researching about it myself. I have come to the conclusion that evolution is real and this contradicts the bible. I'm not sure if i believe what it says in the bible but i do believe in evolution. I'm not sure if this makes me an atheist or not.

I know this isn't a question but i would appreciate any feedback or thoughts. Thanks.
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27-11-2013, 04:22 AM (This post was last modified: 27-11-2013 04:43 AM by Dark Light.)
RE: I don't know if i want to be a christian anymore?
(27-11-2013 02:52 AM)erick Wrote:  So this might be a weird question on an atheist forum since i don't consider myself an atheist, but i would appreciate some feedback as i always get biased answers from other christians. It is a long story but i think it is important to describe how i got to my current mindset.

I have grown up in a very strict christian family and only had other christian friends growing up. I was home schooled so i didn't have much interaction with other non-christians, so i guess you could say i was very sheltered. Anyway i recently started university this year and it was my first time living away from my parents, and i could make my own decisions. I met new christian friends but obviously most of the people i met were non-christian. At first i judged most of these people for how they lived their lives, like how they would get drunk and have sex etc. But when i got to know them i realized that a lot of them were really nice people and i consider some of them my closest friends.

One big issue that arose while i was at university was that issue of gay marriage. I always believed that homosexuality was wrong and i opposed gay marriage. I had discussions about this with some of my friends but i always stuck to my beliefs and never really listened.
I have watched porn for quite a while and although i know it is a sin, i continued to do it anyway. All my christian friends (the guys) watched porn aswell so i didn't feel like i was doing anything wrong and it was just normal. I also only watch lesbian and solo porn. I never really thought of it as hypocritical until i realized that i deny 2 women the right to get married but then i go home and get off to 2 women having sex. I was feeling guilty about this so one day i actually listened to one of my friends and he explained that just because i don't agree with gay marriage that doesn't mean i have the right to push my views onto other people. I realized that it was wrong of me to oppose gay marriage.

This lead me to question my own beliefs. I realized that my trust and belief has been in the church and my family/friands because that is how i have grown up and all ive ever known. It has been more of a lifestyle for me than an actual faith. My friends at university have also explained to me about evolution (something i had very little understanding of before) and i even started researching about it myself. I have come to the conclusion that evolution is real and this contradicts the bible. I'm not sure if i believe what it says in the bible but i do believe in evolution. I'm not sure if this makes me an atheist or not.

I know this isn't a question but i would appreciate any feedback or thoughts. Thanks.

First and foremost, welcome to the forum, Erick!

The short answer is, if you believe in a god or gods you are not an atheist.

Believing in rational things for which there is heaps and mounds of evidence does not make you an atheist. Your stance on homosexuality has nothing to do with atheism. While it is true that the majority of western atheists do accept scientific fact, and most atheist do not see homosexuality as a moral quandary, it is not a rule. There is no list of 'atheist do's and don'ts'. Each person who is an atheist only has one thing in common by necessity. A lack of belief in god/s.

Bravo on your decision to question and be open-minded. I suggest getting out there and learning! You're right, I think, when you say you've been sheltered. Now you are an adult. Go exploring! I would be more than happy to answer any questions you have to the best of my ability, as will many people in this community.

Cheers! Smile

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27-11-2013, 04:28 AM
RE: I don't know if i want to be a christian anymore?
(27-11-2013 02:52 AM)erick Wrote:  So this might be a weird question on an atheist forum since i don't consider myself an atheist, but i would appreciate some feedback as i always get biased answers from other christians. It is a long story but i think it is important to describe how i got to my current mindset.

I have grown up in a very strict christian family and only had other christian friends growing up. I was home schooled so i didn't have much interaction with other non-christians, so i guess you could say i was very sheltered. Anyway i recently started university this year and it was my first time living away from my parents, and i could make my own decisions. I met new christian friends but obviously most of the people i met were non-christian. At first i judged most of these people for how they lived their lives, like how they would get drunk and have sex etc. But when i got to know them i realized that a lot of them were really nice people and i consider some of them my closest friends.

One big issue that arose while i was at university was that issue of gay marriage. I always believed that homosexuality was wrong and i opposed gay marriage. I had discussions about this with some of my friends but i always stuck to my beliefs and never really listened.
I have watched porn for quite a while and although i know it is a sin, i continued to do it anyway. All my christian friends (the guys) watched porn aswell so i didn't feel like i was doing anything wrong and it was just normal. I also only watch lesbian and solo porn. I never really thought of it as hypocritical until i realized that i deny 2 women the right to get married but then i go home and get off to 2 women having sex. I was feeling guilty about this so one day i actually listened to one of my friends and he explained that just because i don't agree with gay marriage that doesn't mean i have the right to push my views onto other people. I realized that it was wrong of me to oppose gay marriage.

This lead me to question my own beliefs. I realized that my trust and belief has been in the church and my family/friands because that is how i have grown up and all ive ever known. It has been more of a lifestyle for me than an actual faith. My friends at university have also explained to me about evolution (something i had very little understanding of before) and i even started researching about it myself. I have come to the conclusion that evolution is real and this contradicts the bible. I'm not sure if i believe what it says in the bible but i do believe in evolution. I'm not sure if this makes me an atheist or not.

I know this isn't a question but i would appreciate any feedback or thoughts. Thanks.

Well for starters, welcome to the forums! (I don't get to say that very often...)

EDIT: FU Dark Light, beat me to it... Dodgy

You're on the right track, you have empathy and curiosity. It's the ability to put yourself in another's position that can really help you understand why discriminating against people over who they love, and want to share the rest of their lives with, is wrong. Likewise being able to come here and being able to ask questions, rather than throw accusations, is another good sign. If you're at all curious about anything, from Biblical history (scholarly stuff, not Sunday School platitudes), evolution (from the basics, to why creationism/ID is complete bollocks), or just about any other subject; there's probably someone here that can help you find your own answers. If we can't, we'll simply tell you that we 'don't know' rather than try to bullshit you.

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27-11-2013, 04:34 AM
RE: I don't know if i want to be a christian anymore?
You don't have to be an atheist. You can still be Christian if you want Wink

It all comes down to what you believe is true.

But there's no reason to be a discriminatory bastard, so good on you for seeing that this was something wrong. Many Christians are also re-evaluating their stance on e.g. homosexuality. This is perfectly OK and hopefully will lead to a much more tolerant society, where people are free to practice their religion and express their sexuality without society coming down on them like a ton of bricks.

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If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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27-11-2013, 05:02 AM
RE: I don't know if i want to be a christian anymore?
Maybe give labelling a break for a time, work out what your beliefs are and start from there.

Labels are what cause division and conflict, try to step back, work out your own beliefs from your own research and understanding and then look for like minded people to hang out with. Even though this is called the thinking atheist, not everyone here is an atheist, so you may find some people that have a similar mindset to you.

Welcome Smile
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27-11-2013, 05:17 AM
RE: I don't know if i want to be a christian anymore?
What is it, my precious? o.O
Can we eats it?

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27-11-2013, 05:18 AM
RE: I don't know if i want to be a christian anymore?
(27-11-2013 02:52 AM)erick Wrote:  So this might be a weird question on an atheist forum since i don't consider myself an atheist, but i would appreciate some feedback as i always get biased answers from other christians. It is a long story but i think it is important to describe how i got to my current mindset.

I have grown up in a very strict christian family and only had other christian friends growing up. I was home schooled so i didn't have much interaction with other non-christians, so i guess you could say i was very sheltered. Anyway i recently started university this year and it was my first time living away from my parents, and i could make my own decisions. I met new christian friends but obviously most of the people i met were non-christian. At first i judged most of these people for how they lived their lives, like how they would get drunk and have sex etc. But when i got to know them i realized that a lot of them were really nice people and i consider some of them my closest friends.

One big issue that arose while i was at university was that issue of gay marriage. I always believed that homosexuality was wrong and i opposed gay marriage. I had discussions about this with some of my friends but i always stuck to my beliefs and never really listened.
I have watched porn for quite a while and although i know it is a sin, i continued to do it anyway. All my christian friends (the guys) watched porn aswell so i didn't feel like i was doing anything wrong and it was just normal. I also only watch lesbian and solo porn. I never really thought of it as hypocritical until i realized that i deny 2 women the right to get married but then i go home and get off to 2 women having sex. I was feeling guilty about this so one day i actually listened to one of my friends and he explained that just because i don't agree with gay marriage that doesn't mean i have the right to push my views onto other people. I realized that it was wrong of me to oppose gay marriage.

This lead me to question my own beliefs. I realized that my trust and belief has been in the church and my family/friands because that is how i have grown up and all ive ever known. It has been more of a lifestyle for me than an actual faith. My friends at university have also explained to me about evolution (something i had very little understanding of before) and i even started researching about it myself. I have come to the conclusion that evolution is real and this contradicts the bible. I'm not sure if i believe what it says in the bible but i do believe in evolution. I'm not sure if this makes me an atheist or not.

I know this isn't a question but i would appreciate any feedback or thoughts. Thanks.

Welcome!

First off, congratulations. It probably took some guts to come here and post. I like your curiosity and your openness.

Home schooling - wow. I usually feel compassion for people who have been homeschooled in a very Christian way, so much indoctrination there, since you get no second or other opinions. But here you are, full of curiosity and questioning some things. I think that speaks volumes for your ability to think critically. I bet you'll do well in life.

Like Dark Light pointed out, this does not make you an atheist. As atheist, you don't believe in any gods. All you are doing so far is examining some of the things in Christianity that seem illogical or unfair to you.

That can be a start on the road to atheism, but it can also just be the start to find a more tolerant form of religion for yourself. Questioning some components of the beliefs you were raised with is not the same as questioning the existence of a god.

You will continue to come across things that you took to be true, but that seem irrational or unfair. That is because they are. You will find your own values, things that matter to you and that you consider important. And so you will form your own world view.

As humans learn more facts about themselves, society changes. It grows alongside the knowledge we accumulate. Just one hundred years ago, society and it's values were totally different from today. In the times the bible tries to describe, very little was known about the world and the people in it. Consequently, some of the views in the bible just cannot fit in today's society. We know better now.

As far as atheism goes, there are a zillion religions on earth that consider you an atheist now because you don't believe in their version of god. So you are actually already 99% atheist, you consider their religions as debunked and false. There is only one of them that you consider real. Why is that?

Feel free to come here anytime to toss around your ideas. Atheists are not here to convert. People here come from all walks of life, and from all over the globe, and you are going to find a huge diversity of people here. Some you will like, some you won't. There is a lot of crazy humor here, too, so don't take everything as it sounds. For some, the road to atheism was very hard, others just got lucky and it was easy. The way they respond to you will reflect this, someone whose family disowned them because they don't believe will have a different attitude towards religion than someone who just naturally grew into atheism with no further consequence.

Try looking at some youtube videos, listening to Seth's podcast, and just absorb some different views about things and see how they chime with you.

Again, welcome, pull up a chair and chime right in. Drinking Beverage

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27-11-2013, 05:50 AM
RE: I don't know if i want to be a christian anymore?
(27-11-2013 04:28 AM)EvolutionKills Wrote:  ...
there's probably someone here that can help you find your own answers.
...

... or to put it another way... tell us what you believe and we will smash it apart for you ... deconstruct you.

We invite you to our mental (re)boot-camp.

Welcome.

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27-11-2013, 06:07 AM
RE: I don't know if i want to be a christian anymore?
I came to my disbelief in a similar way. Having confirmed to my own satisfaction that the universe is old, that we are evolved I was left with something of a choice:
- I could take parts of the Bible as metaphorical
- I could reject the Bible.
The question is: If parts of the Bible can't be understood plainly and trusted authoritatively, why should I think the rest of the Bible can understood plainly and trusted authoritatively? Sure I could believe both that we are evolved creatures and that the Bible is true, but I know we are evolved creatures. On what basis should I believe the Bible is true while knowing evolution is true? On what basis should I believe both superficially contradictory accounts? Why jump through hoops trying to rationalise inconsistencies?

I stewed on it for a long time before finally giving myself permission to just look at the world, just hypothetically, on the assumption that God doesn't exist... to see whether it makes sense without him. I gave myself permission to lower the god glasses, and see whether the world looks simpler or more complex. To see whether the world looks more understandable or less understandable. I gave myself permission to drop my rationalisations and permit myself to treat the alternate viewpoint as provisionally true. Just for the sake of argument.

I haven't looked back.

Give me your argument in the form of a published paper, and then we can start to talk.
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27-11-2013, 06:11 AM
RE: I don't know if i want to be a christian anymore?
Welcome.

Watching porn has helped to make you reconsider your stance on gay marriage? I think that's the first time I've heard that but, hey, no matter how you got there, it is important that you arrive at your beliefs yourself instead of being told what you should believe.

My advice is to talk and question. Don't be afraid to question everything. You may still end up right where you are/were but at least you will have conviction based on some process vs being a parrot.

Have fun and keep those grades up!
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