I don't know if i want to be a christian anymore?
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28-11-2013, 01:56 PM
RE: I don't know if i want to be a christian anymore?
(27-11-2013 02:52 AM)erick Wrote:  So this might be a weird question on an atheist forum since i don't consider myself an atheist, but i would appreciate some feedback as i always get biased answers from other christians. It is a long story but i think it is important to describe how i got to my current mindset.

I have grown up in a very strict christian family and only had other christian friends growing up. I was home schooled so i didn't have much interaction with other non-christians, so i guess you could say i was very sheltered. Anyway i recently started university this year and it was my first time living away from my parents, and i could make my own decisions. I met new christian friends but obviously most of the people i met were non-christian. At first i judged most of these people for how they lived their lives, like how they would get drunk and have sex etc. But when i got to know them i realized that a lot of them were really nice people and i consider some of them my closest friends.

One big issue that arose while i was at university was that issue of gay marriage. I always believed that homosexuality was wrong and i opposed gay marriage. I had discussions about this with some of my friends but i always stuck to my beliefs and never really listened.
I have watched porn for quite a while and although i know it is a sin, i continued to do it anyway. All my christian friends (the guys) watched porn aswell so i didn't feel like i was doing anything wrong and it was just normal. I also only watch lesbian and solo porn. I never really thought of it as hypocritical until i realized that i deny 2 women the right to get married but then i go home and get off to 2 women having sex. I was feeling guilty about this so one day i actually listened to one of my friends and he explained that just because i don't agree with gay marriage that doesn't mean i have the right to push my views onto other people. I realized that it was wrong of me to oppose gay marriage.

This lead me to question my own beliefs. I realized that my trust and belief has been in the church and my family/friands because that is how i have grown up and all ive ever known. It has been more of a lifestyle for me than an actual faith. My friends at university have also explained to me about evolution (something i had very little understanding of before) and i even started researching about it myself. I have come to the conclusion that evolution is real and this contradicts the bible. I'm not sure if i believe what it says in the bible but i do believe in evolution. I'm not sure if this makes me an atheist or not.

I know this isn't a question but i would appreciate any feedback or thoughts. Thanks.


I admire your introspection and honesty, these are great virtues. And I bid you welcome.

I will say the the existence or non-existence of a super intelligent supernatural lawgiver (or God or whatever) is completely independent of the church, its teachings, its holy books, or any concoction of human beings.

Examine the evidence. Examine your beliefs. Use reason and draw your own conclusions. Do not substitute our judgement for your own, or rely upon our certainty. Never subjugate your own mind or judgement to anyone or anything.
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28-11-2013, 06:19 PM
RE: I don't know if i want to be a christian anymore?
(27-11-2013 05:18 AM)Dom Wrote:  Welcome!

First off, congratulations. It probably took some guts to come here and post. I like your curiosity and your openness.

Home schooling - wow. I usually feel compassion for people who have been homeschooled in a very Christian way, so much indoctrination there, since you get no second or other opinions. But here you are, full of curiosity and questioning some things. I think that speaks volumes for your ability to think critically. I bet you'll do well in life.

Like Dark Light pointed out, this does not make you an atheist. As atheist, you don't believe in any gods. All you are doing so far is examining some of the things in Christianity that seem illogical or unfair to you.

That can be a start on the road to atheism, but it can also just be the start to find a more tolerant form of religion for yourself. Questioning some components of the beliefs you were raised with is not the same as questioning the existence of a god.

You will continue to come across things that you took to be true, but that seem irrational or unfair. That is because they are. You will find your own values, things that matter to you and that you consider important. And so you will form your own world view.

As humans learn more facts about themselves, society changes. It grows alongside the knowledge we accumulate. Just one hundred years ago, society and it's values were totally different from today. In the times the bible tries to describe, very little was known about the world and the people in it. Consequently, some of the views in the bible just cannot fit in today's society. We know better now.

As far as atheism goes, there are a zillion religions on earth that consider you an atheist now because you don't believe in their version of god. So you are actually already 99% atheist, you consider their religions as debunked and false. There is only one of them that you consider real. Why is that?

Feel free to come here anytime to toss around your ideas. Atheists are not here to convert. People here come from all walks of life, and from all over the globe, and you are going to find a huge diversity of people here. Some you will like, some you won't. There is a lot of crazy humor here, too, so don't take everything as it sounds. For some, the road to atheism was very hard, others just got lucky and it was easy. The way they respond to you will reflect this, someone whose family disowned them because they don't believe will have a different attitude towards religion than someone who just naturally grew into atheism with no further consequence.

Try looking at some youtube videos, listening to Seth's podcast, and just absorb some different views about things and see how they chime with you.

Again, welcome, pull up a chair and chime right in. Drinking Beverage

I second everything Dom, dark light, and EVolutionKills have said.


I do also want to add that there are lots of Christians who don't believe the literalness of the bible, but still believe in god. They recognize that the Bible is the longest game of telephone in history, that humans are flawed. So they take the bible on a more fluid conceptual basis and not a rigid literal one. Noah wasn't actually 950 years old. So what? Does that have any real effect on the bible?

Have you ever listened to someone tell a story that you suspected they were.....embellishing....but grasped the gist of it while ignoring the exaggerations?

Your openmindedness is refreshing. I never met anyone that was home schooled. What was that like?

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
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28-11-2013, 09:33 PM
RE: I don't know if i want to be a christian anymore?
If you want to remain a Christian, but have a more open minded view, it might be good to think about how you define sin. according to the Bible, all sin is equal. So whether you are watching porn, having sex with a dude, lying to your mom, or murdering people, it's all sin. So consider: you think of yourself as a Christian and a good person even though you choose to commit some sin privately. Isn't it therefore possible that a gay/lesbian individual could be a good person and a Christian who is simply doing the same thing you're doing, which is choosing their sin?

Both of these sins, sexual in nature, are doing no harm against anyone, so why should they be wrong? But that's a different question entirely...
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28-11-2013, 09:34 PM
RE: I don't know if i want to be a christian anymore?
Oh also, my story is pretty similar to yours. I was homeschooled and sheltered for a good part of my life and everything changed for me in college, too. Welcome to the club! I hope you keep learning and investigating!
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