I don't think religion is effective at helping people cope with death
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08-01-2016, 11:24 PM
RE: I don't think religion is effective at helping people cope with death
(08-01-2016 10:48 PM)jason_delisle Wrote:  First and foremost I want to say that I am sorry for your loss. I don't know how close you were to this extended family member but you have my condolences. My wife was killed in a car accident almost 2 years ago. It was the most difficult thing I have ever endured and I had to spend many weeks in counseling as a result. I learned a lot about grief during that time. I learned that everyone grieves differently and everyone copes with their grief differently. Religion, for many, can be a very vital tool for handling the loss of a loved one. Many believe that is the reason religion was started to begin with. The thought on never seeing their loved one again was hurtful. Yes, for some, the hope of an afterlife may seem like denial. But I think it is important to at least recognize that it is a copeing mechanism that many choose or decide not to choose.

I was the quiet type when my wife was killed. Not because I wanted to. It was because I became a single father of three boys over night. I did not have time to wollow in my grief because my children needed their daddy to be a source of strength and support for them. I got a lot of flack from relatives and in-laws because I did not grieve the same way they did.

I know I went on a little rant. The only point that I am trying to make is that religion is probably the oldest and most used copeing mechanism for grief. However it is not for everyone and although it is completely normal for people to feel upset when others cope differently, we should try to respect it. Stay strong.

I'm so sorry to hear about your wife. Hug I'm sure it took everything you had to pull yourself together for your kids. Everyone grieves differently, it doesn't mean they miss the person any less.
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09-01-2016, 07:34 AM
RE: I don't think religion is effective at helping people cope with death
The problem with religion - is it makes death look to be less than it is -- in that it makes death look to be a good thing -- it's where you go to collect your reward.

It's just like the reset button on a gaming console..... "Hey, I lost -- no big deal -- I'll just hit the reset button...." (I expect that it was a Hindu guy who created the reset button)


Problem is - is that when you go through life worrying about if you're "doing it right" to make some invisible man in the sky happy ---- You've wasted all your time on something that's imaginary..... You might as well go through life glued to the TV 24 hours a day.

Death sucks.

Life is the reward. Live it like there's no tomorrow.

Someday, there won't be.

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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09-01-2016, 03:26 PM (This post was last modified: 09-01-2016 03:40 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: I don't think religion is effective at helping people cope with death
(08-01-2016 10:48 PM)jason_delisle Wrote:  The thought on never seeing their loved one again was hurtful. Yes, for some, the hope of an afterlife may seem like denial. But I think it is important to at least recognize that it is a copeing mechanism that many choose or decide not to choose.

To my mind religion as a coping mechanism is a perfectly reasonable response to psychological crises. It is one of the few justifiable reasons I can think of. Some junkies and alcoholics use it to stay sober. I can't argue with that. It's just like HouseOfCantor and his Gwynnies. Paltrow saved his sorry ass and she don't even know it. God might save your sorry ass but God don't know it.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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09-01-2016, 06:54 PM
RE: I don't think religion is effective at helping people cope with death
Sorry for the loss.

I have mentioned before that it was the more religious I saw die on the ward. It was as if they gave up.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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10-01-2016, 07:57 AM
RE: I don't think religion is effective at helping people cope with death
(08-01-2016 05:34 PM)Chas Wrote:  But you don't know that something other than religion might help even more. Drinking Beverage

What I do know is that religion helped them. And I have a lack of belief in something other than religion that might have helped them even more so to deal with the tragic demise of their loved one, or their anxiety of their own violent death.

"Tell me, muse, of the storyteller who has been thrust to the edge of the world, both an infant and an ancient, and through him reveal everyman." ---Homer the aged poet.

"In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it."
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12-01-2016, 12:28 AM
RE: I don't think religion is effective at helping people cope with death
I have been a Christian in the past, and I can say a belief in an afterlife most definitely helped in coping with a death. Imagining the person restored to health, reunited with loved ones that had gone before was a beautiful thought. It still hurt that they were gone, but as time went on, the hurt was replaced by comfort of good memories and the thought of seeing them again one day.

My grandpa died about 3 years ago, and that was around the time I was actively questioning the existence of god. I did not pray for him to get better. He had a painful terminal illness that progressed rapidly. I knew he would not recover, and I was relieved when he died so his suffering would end. I will say the time around h us death was more difficult than I think it would have been had I believed in god and Heaven. I wanted to imagine him running to greet my grandma who had been waiting 15 years, but just wasn't sure it was true. After some initial turmoil, I found that overall, I moved past the painful part onto being able to smile instead of cry when I thought of him pretty much in the same amount of time as with previous losses.

The first death I coped with as an full blown atheist was that of my cousin's stillborn daughter. I had absolutely no thought of her being in heaven, and knowing she was just gone forever didn't affect my level of grief one way or the other. My cousin found comfort in her religion, and I'm glad it helped. The minister delivered a sermon that I found incredibly comforting despite my lack of religion.
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12-01-2016, 07:51 AM
RE: I don't think religion is effective at helping people cope with death
(10-01-2016 07:57 AM)Tomasia Wrote:  
(08-01-2016 05:34 PM)Chas Wrote:  But you don't know that something other than religion might help even more. Drinking Beverage

What I do know is that religion helped them. And I have a lack of belief in something other than religion that might have helped them even more so to deal with the tragic demise of their loved one, or their anxiety of their own violent death.

Your lack of belief that something else may have been better is not compelling. Drinking Beverage

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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12-01-2016, 09:11 AM
RE: I don't think religion is effective at helping people cope with death
(12-01-2016 07:51 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(10-01-2016 07:57 AM)Tomasia Wrote:  What I do know is that religion helped them. And I have a lack of belief in something other than religion that might have helped them even more so to deal with the tragic demise of their loved one, or their anxiety of their own violent death.

Your lack of belief that something else may have been better is not compelling. Drinking Beverage

Nor is your undisclosed "something other than religion". You give too much viability to an alternative that doesn't exist. If you think the mother of Emmet Till could have just as equally drawn hope and comfort from something other than religion when looking at the mauled body of her son, I would like to hear what the alternative belief would have been? The alternative here would likely have been despair, and hopelessness.

It's not a coincidence unbelief is nearly non-existent among the destitute, the poor, and the suffering, and found in abundance among the privileged, and the comfortable.

"Tell me, muse, of the storyteller who has been thrust to the edge of the world, both an infant and an ancient, and through him reveal everyman." ---Homer the aged poet.

"In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it."
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12-01-2016, 09:52 AM
RE: I don't think religion is effective at helping people cope with death
(12-01-2016 12:28 AM)beeglez Wrote:  I have been a Christian in the past, and I can say a belief in an afterlife most definitely helped in coping with a death. ... I will say the time around his death was more difficult than I think it would have been had I believed in god and Heaven. ...

Dealing with the loss of somebody you love is difficult no matter what but did being a believer help you cope in a positive way or did it just allow you to stay in denial about it? I've never believed so I can only go by what I've heard but it always sounds like believers aren't letting themselves fully embrace the grief and work through it, they box it up and tell themselves that it isn't really true.

(I'm not saying believers don't grieve, just that there always seems to be a lot more denial going on than I hear from non-believers.)

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12-01-2016, 10:41 AM
RE: I don't think religion is effective at helping people cope with death
(12-01-2016 09:11 AM)Tomasia Wrote:  Nor is your undisclosed "something other than religion". You give too much viability to an alternative that doesn't exist. If you think the mother of Emmet Till could have just as equally drawn hope and comfort from something other than religion when looking at the mauled body of her son, I would like to hear what the alternative belief would have been? The alternative here would likely have been despair, and hopelessness.

It's not a coincidence unbelief is nearly non-existent among the destitute, the poor, and the suffering, and found in abundance among the privileged, and the comfortable.

I find it amusing that you attempt to paint the alternative in a negative light to justify your statement.

And you are correct it is no coincidence that unbelief is nearly non-existent among the destitute, the poor, and the suffering. The entire scheme preys on people in those situations as a means of recruiting new members to keep the scam running.
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