I don't want to lose the love of my life.
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24-02-2017, 02:52 PM
RE: I don't want to lose the love of my life.
So right now my wife and I are living in a "Don't ask don't tell" environment. But she asked me if I wanted to go see the documentary called "Is Genesis History" which is just a Christian propaganda documentary created by a bunch of creationist "scientists" who aren't really scientist. My response was, "Only is you want me to interject with the information I know and question anything that is not true." She just dropped it at that point. I checked out the trailer and even the things they mentioned in the trailer, which would be the best they have, is easily debunked. Like, the flood formed the Grand Canyon and the mountains. Ridiculous. That is where we stand today. I'm just letting her settle into the reality that I no longer believe in any religion. I'm not saying there is no god, because there is no way to fully disprove a god (or invisible untouchable purple unicorns floating around and granting wished, when they feel like it). But, have absolutely no believe in anything supernatural until someone can demonstrate something truly supernatural.
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24-02-2017, 03:23 PM (This post was last modified: 24-02-2017 03:27 PM by RearViewMirror.)
RE: I don't want to lose the love of my life.
(24-02-2017 02:52 PM)Sean Jacobs Wrote:  So right now my wife and I are living in a "Don't ask don't tell" environment. But she asked me if I wanted to go see the documentary called "Is Genesis History" which is just a Christian propaganda documentary created by a bunch of creationist "scientists" who aren't really scientist. My response was, "Only is you want me to interject with the information I know and question anything that is not true." She just dropped it at that point. I checked out the trailer and even the things they mentioned in the trailer, which would be the best they have, is easily debunked. Like, the flood formed the Grand Canyon and the mountains. Ridiculous. That is where we stand today. I'm just letting her settle into the reality that I no longer believe in any religion. I'm not saying there is no god, because there is no way to fully disprove a god (or invisible untouchable purple unicorns floating around and granting wished, when they feel like it). But, have absolutely no believe in anything supernatural until someone can demonstrate something truly supernatural.

I hate to hear that my friend. I know it must be stressful for you and your wife. I had a similar experience with my ex wife detailed here. I've noticed throughout life, giving up a belief system can either be pretty easy or extremely hard depending on how invested / indoctrinated they are into the dogma of their particular beliefs. The problem arises when rational thought can not override the long standing dogma. For those people the struggle is real giving up on something that they have (most likely) believed in their entire life. When I told my devout Christian parents that I was an atheist it was rough on them. Mostly my Mother. They have grown to accept it since they really have no choice. But I still cannot have a "rational" conversation with my Mother who "knows that Jesus died on the cross for her sins". So when you are dealing with that type of rationale there really is nothing you can do if they are not willing to accept facts over fiction even in the face of overwhelming evidence.

The "don't ask don't tell" environment I'm afraid will only hold back the pressure for so long then that dam will start to crack and break. Either from your side or hers. It will come down to if you can come to a common ground that you can accept each other for who you both are. Living in a constant state of resentment (which is what I ended up with my ex wife) will eventually spell doom for a relationship. Marriage is a give and take. Neither side can take more than the other. If you can find that balance then everything should be fine. It's finding that balance that is the hard part.

Hope that I didn't overstep my bounds with my comments. Please let me know if I have as I certainly do not hold a degree in relationships. Just personal experience.

I get to decide what my life looks like, not the other way around.
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24-02-2017, 04:00 PM
RE: I don't want to lose the love of my life.
Hmm. Consider A year and a month, plus a few days since that first post. You were certainly preparing for the inevitable, Sean.

I think initially, you were afraid your wife would leave you. It is very possible that she feels you might be the one leaving.

Continue to assure her that faith has nothing to do with your relationship and it never has. It is very possible she thinks god put you two together and that since god isn't there for you, you have no reason to stay.

She is still trapped in the delusion that something outside of her, controls her life and reality. She is still operating in the only way she has ever had available. Show her the different, reasonable way you are living and she will understand that faith/god/religion controls nothing.

You are comfortable in your lack of faith. However, think of how long & arduous your struggle was, while you were going through it. Your wife's struggle is just as difficult - maybe more so. Help her to know that you are there because of her, not because of her faith. Shy

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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24-02-2017, 04:22 PM
RE: I don't want to lose the love of my life.
(24-02-2017 02:52 PM)Sean Jacobs Wrote:  So right now my wife and I are living in a "Don't ask don't tell" environment. But she asked me if I wanted to go see the documentary called "Is Genesis History" which is just a Christian propaganda documentary created by a bunch of creationist "scientists" who aren't really scientist. My response was, "Only is you want me to interject with the information I know and question anything that is not true." She just dropped it at that point. I checked out the trailer and even the things they mentioned in the trailer, which would be the best they have, is easily debunked. Like, the flood formed the Grand Canyon and the mountains. Ridiculous. That is where we stand today. I'm just letting her settle into the reality that I no longer believe in any religion. I'm not saying there is no god, because there is no way to fully disprove a god (or invisible untouchable purple unicorns floating around and granting wished, when they feel like it). But, have absolutely no believe in anything supernatural until someone can demonstrate something truly supernatural.

(24-02-2017 02:52 PM)Sean Jacobs Wrote:  Like, the flood formed the Grand Canyon and the mountains.

Yeah, I've come across crazy stuff like this from Christians. If the flood formed the Grand Canyon why aren't there Grand Canyons everywhere? Hummmm?

Wow. I'm sorry you're going through this. It seems like you're a really nice guy. She should appreciate you for that.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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