I feel so lonely....
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24-09-2013, 08:07 PM
I feel so lonely....
This is just me venting. I dunno how to describe it properly, but i'll try. I know my parents support me in my goals, but i dont feel like they love me. I cant recall one time my dad or mom said they love me or that i said i love 'm. I can literally count the times we hugged. Sometimes i envy my best friend. His parents are soo nice to him...
I think that they love me, but they are just incapable of showing affection. If i didnt know better, i would say they just have a platonic relation and are together because " its just the way you do things" and for the sake of me and my sister. I've been more touched by the forum sometimes than i have been by my family. I guess it runs in the family... Struggling with feelings and shit like that

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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24-09-2013, 08:15 PM
RE: I feel so lonely....
That's too bad dude, I'm sorry. Do you feel that they do actually love you, in spite of the lack of expressing it? If it's not too awkward, maybe you should initiate a bit of it more often. Nothing over the top, maybe just a "g'nite mom, love you!".

Hearing it said out loud may provoke them to be a bit more open to doing it back. I dunno, seems like it would be worth a try anyway.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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24-09-2013, 08:21 PM
RE: I feel so lonely....
(24-09-2013 08:07 PM)Lightvader Wrote:  This is just me venting. I dunno how to describe it properly, but i'll try. I know my parents support me in my goals, but i dont feel like they love me. I cant recall one time my dad or mom said they love me or that i said i love 'm. I can literally count the times we hugged. Sometimes i envy my best friend. His parents are soo nice to him...
I think that they love me, but they are just incapable of showing affection. If i didnt know better, i would say they just have a platonic relation and are together because " its just the way you do things" and for the sake of me and my sister. I've been more touched by the forum sometimes than i have been by my family. I guess it runs in the family... Struggling with feelings and shit like that

What is your cultural background? Is it much like this?

I had a friend from China, when I was 17 we hung out at her house often. One day her dad came into the room and told her he loved her and she broke into tears. It was pretty amazing.

I say it all the time to my kids and they often roll their eyes or it appears to fall on deaf ears like it has no meaning (I know it does though).

Anyway... That's why I ask the cultural question.

Families operate differently, too. How are they with your sister? How do you treat them? What do you think would happen if you told them how you feel?

I know how loneliness feels, I'm sorry you feel this way. TTA is a great family, no shame in being teary eyed here- I have been from time to time when members require the love. Hug
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24-09-2013, 08:38 PM
RE: I feel so lonely....
Thanks guys, really apreciate the warmth Hug
evenheathen, it would sound totaly weird if i said that, because i never did it. I dont wish them goodnight and they dont either.
LJ, i dont think it is a cultural thing. I would probably not burst in tears when they would say a simple " i luv you" but i would definetly be touched by it.

I think they love me( i hope they do). They just have a hard time showing it.

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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24-09-2013, 08:44 PM
RE: I feel so lonely....
(24-09-2013 08:38 PM)Lightvader Wrote:  it would sound totaly weird if i said that, because i never did it. I dont wish them goodnight and they dont either.

Well, I realize it would sound totally weird given the situation you described. But if you love them, I don't see how in any world it would be inappropriate to simply tell them so. If they get offended by you saying it, you would at least know more about where the issue stands, but I'm pretty sure they won't.

You may just be surprised at how far those three words said aloud can get you.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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24-09-2013, 08:47 PM
RE: I feel so lonely....
I'll try it someday. Not today tho, they're already asleep.

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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24-09-2013, 09:12 PM
RE: I feel so lonely....
Here's a mom hug. Hug

Sorry you feel the way you do. Some people aren't good with displays of affection...it sure ran in my mom's family and I picked up too much of that trait. I tried to make up for it by being involved in my kids activities and by opening our house to all their friends. Maybe you can be the one to break the ice.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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24-09-2013, 09:22 PM
RE: I feel so lonely....
Thanks anjele Hug
i sure hope i dont become like them. I believe that because of the way i've been brought up i dont like socialising and felt sooo shy when i had a girlfriend

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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24-09-2013, 09:24 PM
RE: I feel so lonely....
I think you will be just fine.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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24-09-2013, 10:26 PM
RE: I feel so lonely....
for another person u r lucky to have such parents
parents that dont keep shouting what they need and want from u
parents that respect ur freedom and ways of being intellectually

dont fancy out of reality, why dont u accept them as they are while ur life is about u alone

since u admit that they arent inflecting harm on u or ur sister
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