I feel so lonely....
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
24-09-2013, 11:27 PM
RE: I feel so lonely....
(24-09-2013 10:26 PM)absols Wrote:  for another person u r lucky to have such parents
parents that dont keep shouting what they need and want from u
parents that respect ur freedom and ways of being intellectually

dont fancy out of reality, why dont u accept them as they are while ur life is about u alone

since u admit that they arent inflecting harm on u or ur sister
i never admited that
(but they dont)
thanks for trying to cheer me up and thanks for making a coherent post

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
25-09-2013, 01:22 AM (This post was last modified: 25-09-2013 01:25 AM by absols.)
RE: I feel so lonely....
i thought so when u said that ur parents are together mainly for the sake of u and ur sister, and that they support ur goals, it is like you trust them so no conscious harm is done
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes absols's post
25-09-2013, 06:55 AM
RE: I feel so lonely....
LV, Hug

Hope you are feeling better today. You always cheer me up, so I hate to hear that you're feeling down.

I'm afraid I don't have much advice in this area as my relationship with my own parents is not the greatest. It's not bad, but still. I can remember a time when I wanted affection or loving words from them, but now I feel like I could care less if I get those things from them or not. Kind of sad, I guess, to feel that way, but it is what it is. I would not want things with your parents to progress the same way. I wish you all the best of luck.

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Escape Artist's post
25-09-2013, 09:15 AM
RE: I feel so lonely....
Just like with Lady Jane, it was said quite openly in my family. I still tell my bro and sis often that I love them, I even tell my best friend on occasion. However you would not believe the amount of shit "those three words" have gotten me in trouble with women in the past ha ha, when they say it to me and I just say "thanks" and don't say it back. To me those three words can be said quite easily and I only say it when I mean it and feel it.

Because it hasn't been said often in your household LV I imagine that for you to say it might feel a bit awkward. My advice would be wait until all three of you are together and say something like...

"There is nothing wrong with me, so don't worry. It feels a bit awkward and I don't want to come across as mushy, but I just want to tell you that I love you both and I don't say it enough"

You may take them by surprise Smile

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes bemore's post
25-09-2013, 10:09 AM
RE: I feel so lonely....
(24-09-2013 08:07 PM)Lightvader Wrote:  This is just me venting. I dunno how to describe it properly, but i'll try. I know my parents support me in my goals, but i dont feel like they love me. I cant recall one time my dad or mom said they love me or that i said i love 'm. I can literally count the times we hugged. Sometimes i envy my best friend. His parents are soo nice to him...
I think that they love me, but they are just incapable of showing affection. If i didnt know better, i would say they just have a platonic relation and are together because " its just the way you do things" and for the sake of me and my sister. I've been more touched by the forum sometimes than i have been by my family. I guess it runs in the family... Struggling with feelings and shit like that


You are not the only one. Maybe not as hard case as yours, but I know what you mean... That is why you have friends, they should fill the missing parts. At least it worked for me.

[Image: a6505fe8.jpg]
I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.
-Hunter S. Thompson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Filox's post
25-09-2013, 10:19 AM
RE: I feel so lonely....
Remember: only YOU can prevent forest fires.

Sorry... as a child, Smokey Bear was my proactive guru. Dodgy
***

Maybe your parents don't know from you if they can invade your personal space - either physically or emotionally. Maybe they are kind of "waiting for you to make the first move", so to speak. They will need to see a change in your behavior in order to fulfill your needs... it might be essential for you to make your needs known to them.

You might have to instigate an active behavior modification program. Make it a scientific project... there will probably be notable behavioral observations. What begins as a behavioral experiment, could end up as habit. A fucking great habit.

Just out of the blue one day, if your Mom is busy, just go up beside her and put your arm around her shoulder or waist and ask her what she's doing or making. (It's easy to do if you smile and "look interested") When she says what it is, just say, "That's cool. I'm glad you're my Mom... I'm not sure I've ever told you that.". Keep smiling... you can walk away if you want or stick around ... either way, just keep smiling.

She can respond however she needs to. She might be temporarily stunned and do or say nothing so, don't freak out if you get nothing, immediately. It might take a few tries but she'll soon respond in kind to positive behavior.

The point is, the idea of how you need to express yourself within your family, will be out on the table. Others need to know how you behave in order to respond - your behavior can convey your expectations of reciprocal behavior.

You can do the same with your dad. Catch them each alone first so they can get used to your "new behavior". After doing it a few times with each, not only will they be used to it... you will be used to it.

It could help both you and your parents with confidence of communication. Things might become a bit more comfortable around the house; less tense. And... it might have positive repercussions outside the family unit. You might become a bit more comfortable in your own skin. Confidence can be contagious - just sayin'. Wink

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes kim's post
25-09-2013, 10:24 AM
RE: I feel so lonely....
Thanks for the advice guys! Even you,absols

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
25-09-2013, 10:28 AM
RE: I feel so lonely....
How about starting with a text? Say you and your mom are texting back and forth about something and you just slip an "I love you mom" in there? Some people (holds hand up) aren't good with physical displays...my kids finally hugged me into hugging. Maybe a text would start things in that direction.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
25-09-2013, 10:31 AM
RE: I feel so lonely....
Sorry you're going through that. We're here for you LV! Smile

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
David Hume
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
25-09-2013, 10:33 AM
RE: I feel so lonely....
(25-09-2013 10:09 AM)Filox Wrote:  
(24-09-2013 08:07 PM)Lightvader Wrote:  This is just me venting. I dunno how to describe it properly, but i'll try. I know my parents support me in my goals, but i dont feel like they love me. I cant recall one time my dad or mom said they love me or that i said i love 'm. I can literally count the times we hugged. Sometimes i envy my best friend. His parents are soo nice to him...
I think that they love me, but they are just incapable of showing affection. If i didnt know better, i would say they just have a platonic relation and are together because " its just the way you do things" and for the sake of me and my sister. I've been more touched by the forum sometimes than i have been by my family. I guess it runs in the family... Struggling with feelings and shit like that


You are not the only one. Maybe not as hard case as yours, but I know what you mean... That is why you have friends, they should fill the missing parts. At least it worked for me.



Not to be misunderstood, I actually like it like this, with less emotions between me and my parents. I know they love and I know they just express it differently. Not with hugs and kisses and "I love you". Now that I think about it I don't think I ever, ever said those word to my parents. My mother did say it, but my father, maybe only while I was a child or in some context. As I said, I don't think it hurt me in any way.

[Image: a6505fe8.jpg]
I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.
-Hunter S. Thompson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Filox's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: