I feel suicidal but nobody else realises
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02-12-2013, 03:44 PM
RE: I feel suicidal but nobody else realises



As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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02-12-2013, 03:48 PM
RE: I feel suicidal but nobody else realises
The meds question is an interesting one to me for a couple of reasons. First: As an alcoholic, I medicate myself! Second: The success rate for psychological meds for family members have been murky. My brother has never really taken his, so his case is irrelevant. I have a aunt, who once tried to drown her son in a cistern, because god told her too. But she has taken her meds for many years now and is happy. She also draws a disability check for her mental illness. In other words, that illness is permanent and the meds (apparently) help control the voices in her head, which will never go away (?) So, the meds have helped her greatly but haven't placed her on equal ground with most of the population! Same with a second aunt. She followed me around one day, many years ago, creeping me out! Later confessed that she wanted to have sex with me. Now, she's taking her meds, doing much better! Living in a nursing home. The meds have done wonderful things for her. But have not enabled her to be independent.

I am convinced that I also have a mental illness. Social disorder of some kind. Lack of confidence. In some crazy ways, a since of intellectual superiority! Like some kind of compensational thing that makes me feel superior to so many people I secretly feel inferior to! So, it seems that I need a medicine that can erase the life I have lived to this point. Family history of alcoholism, family history of mental illness, ignorance, poverty, my brothers murder. No, I don't think I need meds. I think I need the balls to get up again and struggle to win! But the road of failure is long and winding, ugly and dark behind me! Waking, working, crying and longing for strength and a fucking miracle is just what I do.

http://jimbosleeps.blogspot.com/2013/11/...st_19.html
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02-12-2013, 04:00 PM
RE: I feel suicidal but nobody else realises
(02-12-2013 03:48 PM)Ameron1963 Wrote:  The meds question is an interesting one to me for a couple of reasons. First: As an alcoholic, I medicate myself!

Girly mixes it with the meds for even more fun and folly. Thumbsup

(02-12-2013 03:48 PM)Ameron1963 Wrote:  So, it seems that I need a medicine that can erase the life I have lived to this point.

We're working that, brother. Thumbsup

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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02-12-2013, 04:06 PM
RE: I feel suicidal but nobody else realises
Depression can be quite tricky.
The right meds can help a lot, especially combined with talk therapy such as CBT.

Side effects can disappear after a few weeks, and if they don't, another type of anti-depressant may work much better. Sound monitoring is important.
Good luck!
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02-12-2013, 04:06 PM
RE: I feel suicidal but nobody else realises
I attached a link to my blog. Some of my art and some of my poetry. Theirs nothing you can buy there! No need for you to go! It's our modern Heaven! Our words, pictures, movies. Whatever thoughts, pictures of kittens, cum shots or silly arguments on Facebook are Heaven or Hell! Life now continues along digital lines! So, if you spoke to me last Tuesday, you have a place in digital Heaven! If I tried to take sexual advantage of you Thursday, at 7:03 P.M. Digital Hell! If you laugh at my posts here, find me a fool and "unfriend" me. I will have lived a real life!
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02-12-2013, 04:14 PM
RE: I feel suicidal but nobody else realises
I had a dream! Dreams generally mean nothing to me. But I was reading to someone. A patient of some kind. I used to love to read. My best friend and I used to read (really perform) to each other. It was such a great dream! I felt so good, reading to this nonexistent person. Dreams mean nothing. But I wonder if reading to people would be a good thing for me.
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02-12-2013, 04:15 PM
RE: I feel suicidal but nobody else realises
(02-12-2013 04:06 PM)Mr Woof Wrote:  Depression can be quite tricky.
The right meds can help a lot, especially combined with talk therapy such as CBT.

Side effects can disappear after a few weeks, and if they don't, another type of anti-depressant may work much better. Sound monitoring is important.
Good luck!

Many of us can't afford therapy of any kind.
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02-12-2013, 04:34 PM
RE: I feel suicidal but nobody else realises
(02-12-2013 04:14 PM)Ameron1963 Wrote:  But I wonder if reading to people would be a good thing for me.

YES! And read them your poems! They're beautiful! Win-win all around. Thumbsup

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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02-12-2013, 05:02 PM
RE: I feel suicidal but nobody else realises
(02-12-2013 03:48 PM)Ameron1963 Wrote:  The meds question is an interesting one to me for a couple of reasons. First: As an alcoholic, I medicate myself!
I would encourage you not to 'medicate' with alcohol, alcohol is a depressant and will not help you in the long run


Quote:
No, I don't think I need meds. I think I need the balls to get up again and struggle to win! But the road of failure is long and winding, ugly and dark behind me! Waking, working, crying and longing for strength and a fucking miracle is just what I do.
I empathize with you, I really hope everything turns out ok in your situation.



(02-12-2013 04:15 PM)Ameron1963 Wrote:  Many of us can't afford therapy of any kind.
I recommend to try to look for free info online regarding mental health

“The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.” ― Richard Pryor
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03-12-2013, 02:55 PM
RE: I feel suicidal but nobody else realises
(02-12-2013 04:34 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(02-12-2013 04:14 PM)Ameron1963 Wrote:  But I wonder if reading to people would be a good thing for me.

YES! And read them your poems! They're beautiful! Win-win all around. Thumbsup

Thanks! I think maybe I need something to make me feel valuable in some way.
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