I hate autism
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12-12-2012, 07:03 PM
I hate autism
I just do. I hate that my son is on the spectrum. I hate hate hate that in his whole life, 13 years he's hugged me once. He said, "I love you" once that I remember. I remember him being a cuddly baby. He would hug, blow kisses...

I just don't remember when it stopped, but I know it did. I hate that he doesn't understand what a friend is. He doesn't understand if he's being picked on. He doesn't understand sarcasm or jokes (cartoon humor he does understand). Most of all, I really fucking hate there is NOT one original,thought in his head. Everything is just echoed back from something else -- if only he'd echo Sagan, Dawkins or Hitch i might not mind it) i hate that I can't talk to him about anything, because he can't carry on a conversation beyond a few 3-4 exchanges.

I hate that I can see cartoon shows he watches in his expressions. When he dropped dishes into my sink, it was him, it was Timmy fucking Turner on Fairly Oddparentts.

Finally, I'm not looking to blame immunizations for this, or find out if he eats grubs for a year his autism will be cured. If ONE MORE family member mentions the GFCF diet I'll just scream or mentions that celebrity bitch who ran around saying her kid was cured by it....They forget we tried it and made no difference in his ability and we're not alone.

I don't want to hear that I should pray harder for him it's about as useful.

I just needed to vent and scream for a minute. I hate most of all that I have an IEP meeting tomorrow.
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12-12-2012, 07:07 PM
RE: I hate autism
(12-12-2012 07:03 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  I just do. I hate that my son is on the spectrum. I hate hate hate that in his whole life, 13 years he's hugged me once. He said, "I love you" once that I remember. I remember him being a cuddly baby. He would hug, blow kisses...

I just don't remember when it stopped, but I know it did. I hate that he doesn't understand what a friend is. He doesn't understand if he's being picked on. He doesn't understand sarcasm or jokes (cartoon humor he does understand). Most of all, I really fucking hate there is NOT one original,thought in his head. Everything is just echoed back from something else -- if only he'd echo Sagan, Dawkins or Hitch i might not mind it) i hate that I can't talk to him about anything, because he can't carry on a conversation beyond a few 3-4 exchanges.

I hate that I can see cartoon shows he watches in his expressions. When he dropped dishes into my sink, it was him, it was Timmy fucking Turner on Fairly Oddparentts.

Finally, I'm not looking to blame immunizations for this, or find out if he eats grubs for a year his autism will be cured. If ONE MORE family member mentions the GFCF diet I'll just scream or mentions that celebrity bitch who ran around saying her kid was cured by it....They forget we tried it and made no difference in his ability and we're not alone.

I don't want to hear that I should pray harder for him it's about as useful.

I just needed to vent and scream for a minute. I hate most of all that I have an IEP meeting tomorrow.

^^ This.

... and I hate that I am part of the statistic that 85% of parents with autistic children end up divorced.

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12-12-2012, 07:09 PM
RE: I hate autism
(12-12-2012 07:07 PM)DLJ Wrote:  
(12-12-2012 07:03 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  I just do. I hate that my son is on the spectrum. I hate hate hate that in his whole life, 13 years he's hugged me once. He said, "I love you" once that I remember. I remember him being a cuddly baby. He would hug, blow kisses...

I just don't remember when it stopped, but I know it did. I hate that he doesn't understand what a friend is. He doesn't understand if he's being picked on. He doesn't understand sarcasm or jokes (cartoon humor he does understand). Most of all, I really fucking hate there is NOT one original,thought in his head. Everything is just echoed back from something else -- if only he'd echo Sagan, Dawkins or Hitch i might not mind it) i hate that I can't talk to him about anything, because he can't carry on a conversation beyond a few 3-4 exchanges.

I hate that I can see cartoon shows he watches in his expressions. When he dropped dishes into my sink, it was him, it was Timmy fucking Turner on Fairly Oddparentts.

Finally, I'm not looking to blame immunizations for this, or find out if he eats grubs for a year his autism will be cured. If ONE MORE family member mentions the GFCF diet I'll just scream or mentions that celebrity bitch who ran around saying her kid was cured by it....They forget we tried it and made no difference in his ability and we're not alone.

I don't want to hear that I should pray harder for him it's about as useful.

I just needed to vent and scream for a minute. I hate most of all that I have an IEP meeting tomorrow.

^^ This.

... and I hate that I am part of the statistic that 85% of parents with autistic children end up divorced.

85%???? wow

To original poster: Very sorry to hear about the frustrations. One of my neighbors (which has since moved) was a hardcore aspie. Nice guy, but very much had many of the descriptions you've posted about. I can imagine it would be difficult to be in that circumstance Sad But I'm glad you are able to have an outlet, vent, and talk about it Smile We all need to do that from time to time.
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12-12-2012, 07:31 PM
RE: I hate autism
While I completely agree with the OP, I often wonder where we'd be without it. Some of the greatest thinkers and artists in human history were so because of their autism. It is truly a terrible thing.

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12-12-2012, 07:38 PM
RE: I hate autism
(12-12-2012 07:07 PM)DLJ Wrote:  I just needed to vent and scream for a minute. I hate most of all that I have an IEP meeting tomorrow.

^^ This.

... and I hate that I am part of the statistic that 85% of parents with autistic children end up divorced.

I'm sorry, I'll add that to my list.
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12-12-2012, 07:47 PM
RE: I hate autism
(12-12-2012 07:31 PM)Logica Humano Wrote:  While I completely agree with the OP, I often wonder where we'd be without it. Some of the greatest thinkers and artists in human history were so because of their autism. It is truly a terrible thing.

That is true, some are lucky to find their niche in the world. I have no idea what the statistic is, but I suspect most don't fall into that category. :-(

That said, I do love that my son, once he understands a concept it's locked inside his head. It becomes a rule he'll follow -- probably forever. Sometimes I just cry.
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12-12-2012, 08:48 PM
I hate autism
Hug

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
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12-12-2012, 09:01 PM
RE: I hate autism
That's really sad, and you have my sympathy. My little bro is on the mild end, and until recently they called what he has "Asperger's". But he understands what he has, and that he is not what others consider to be "normal". Since we're sort of a "touchy feely" family, it drove my poor mom crazy that he used to flinch and withdraw when she just patted his head, or tried to give him a hug. But the good thing is if they understand whats going on, they do better than if they internalize (the) shame. So all I can say is, they are often very gifted, and if they have understanding people around them, who don't impose their "needs" on them, but just let them "thrive" and be themselves, they can be and do great things. They are often very gifted in some way.

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12-12-2012, 09:14 PM
RE: I hate autism
I am so sorry.... Sad

I must say, however, you're doing him a favor by acknowledging that he has a disability. My parents were embarrassed that my brother has a disability (PDD unspecified, I think). I also think they lacked resources at the time. They covered it up and they just spoiled him and let him get away with anything. Now he's 28 and still living at home with very little life skills.

Hang in there....

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12-12-2012, 11:33 PM
RE: I hate autism
(12-12-2012 09:01 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  That's really sad, and you have my sympathy. My little bro is on the mild end, and until recently they called what he has "Asperger's". But he understands what he has, and that he is not what others consider to be "normal". Since we're sort of a "touchy feely" family, it drove my poor mom crazy that he used to flinch and withdraw when she just patted his head, or tried to give him a hug. But the good thing is if they understand whats going on, they do better than if they internalize (the) shame. So all I can say is, they are often very gifted, and if they have understanding people around them, who don't impose their "needs" on them, but just let them "thrive" and be themselves, they can be and do great things. They are often very gifted in some way.

With my son, his diagnosis would have been that but he didn't speak enough before 3. Had he been more verbal, Asperger's would have been his dx. But having said that I've since learned that there's no such thing as mild autism or Asperger's syndrome (which I guess is technically going away next year). The more high functioning they are -- the more they realize how different they are. The more anxiety they suffer because theyre different snd rhey cant help it It's like being on a merry-go-round you can't get off.

One thing I can say, he's a natural atheist. He doesn't understand imaginary anything. He doesn't and probably never really played with toys. He would play around them. Just like other kids. He wouldn't play with them...

Starting next year also, they're tightening up the criteria for autism Dx -- I'm not worried so much about my son in that. I am worried about other kids tho in his class.

I can't think about next year...even next month (which I guess is a new year -- lol). I can only think about tomorrow.
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