I hate autism
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12-12-2012, 11:36 PM
RE: I hate autism
(12-12-2012 09:14 PM)Percepticon Wrote:  I am so sorry.... Sad

I must say, however, you're doing him a favor by acknowledging that he has a disability. My parents were embarrassed that my brother has a disability (PDD unspecified, I think). I also think they lacked resources at the time. They covered it up and they just spoiled him and let him get away with anything. Now he's 28 and still living at home with very little life skills.

Hang in there....

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt. We argued in the beginning. I read the crap they had online at the time and said no way. It wasn't him at all. Since then the info is much better. Once we started the testing process it became obvious and very sad for us.
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12-12-2012, 11:37 PM
RE: I hate autism
I hate people who hate autism. Fine rip out the piece of me that makes me who I am. I may quote shows, but they are relevant to the conversation. Learn to enjoy the things it brings into your life, not how much being the mother of your son sucks.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

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13-12-2012, 12:01 AM
RE: I hate autism
(12-12-2012 11:37 PM)Xinoftruden Wrote:  I hate people who hate autism. Fine rip out the piece of me that makes me who I am. I may quote shows, but they are relevant to the conversation. Learn to enjoy the things it brings into your life, not how much being the mother of your son sucks.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for you and for my son. Seriously, I do enjoy him but I worry about him all the time. I worry that he'll be picked on, while riding the bus. That some kid will get him to say something silly and they'll put it on YouTube, but he's not in on rhe joke. I worry about his future. Will he be able to take care of himself? Will he earn enough money to support himself? Will he end up homeless?

He's in 7th grade and effectively reads at a second grade level (maybe third). Yesterday, I walked into a fucking shopping mall and heard gunshots being fired and people screaming and my only thought was I had to get out of there because the bus will be coming in 90 minutes with him on it and no way for him to get into the house and begin his routine. It was later, much later I allowed myself to remotely consider that was I lucky I had just entered the mall and turned around and went back out. I did hesitate because I didn't believe what was happening.

Ya I ran to my car with my older son and drove shaking all the way home. I turned on the news but when he came home, I had to turn it off, because he'd NEVER go back to that mall ever again. And I don't want him to be afraid of that. He's got enough fears.

If something happened to me, what would happen to him? Who would advocate for him? Who would love him unconditionally when he became unreasonable or irrational?

So ya, for today I do hate autism because I don't want this worry.
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13-12-2012, 06:28 AM
RE: I hate autism
I have a friend with autism. He's in his 20's, but he still lives in his mom's basement and he's never had a girlfriend. He just goes to work at the florist (part time), then comes home and watches old movies all night. On occasion I've seen him have light-saber battles with his dad (complete with the Star Wars soundtrack playing, which was creative) and if asked, he'll ramble on and on about '50s movie stars and their legendary roles. I and a few other mutual friends have taken him out before, but he tends to keep quiet the whole time. (Although, on a few occasions he'll speak up with a totally inappropriate, but incredibly hilarious one-liner) I've known him since we were in the 3rd grade and we got along really well. Then, as time passed, I started to realize that while I was growing up; he wasn't. He's matured and gotten smarter, but he still has the outlook of a quiet, set-in-his-ways teenager. In fact, it was only about 2 years ago that he officially figured out how to operate the answering machine on his mom's phone.

When we hang out, his mom sends him off with some mild reservation; which used to irritate me, but I realized that she's basically putting him in my care. When we're out on the town, I interact with him like any other friend, but there's this inherant sense that I'm keeping an eye on him. I hesitate to say "babysitting", but that's more or less what it amounts to.
Having said that, I have an eye for creativity and potential, and I'm helping him to mold his creative streak. As it happens, he's an acting buff, and I'm an aspiring film-maker. With direction and attentiveness, I'm sure he - like any creative but developmentally challenged individual - can reach his potential and surpass any disappointment or heartache he's ever inadvertently caused.

Also, my 8-year-old adopted brother has ADHD, and, I believe, some level of autism (though nobody's looked into it). What you said about "Timmy Turner" gave me a chill. My brother absorbs every horrid fucking cartoon character he watches. From Timmy to Spongebob to whatever obscure cartoons he watches while his face is glued to that damn iPad all day. I know where you're coming from.

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13-12-2012, 06:47 AM
RE: I hate autism
I don't know that I've ever met anyone with autism, but I do remember in Psych class the doc said that autism should be thought of as an umbrella term that encompasses several different related disorders. From what I've seen in the media, and from his account with his autistic son, I venture to say he may very well be correct. Austism can be crippling (not speaking of physical ailments), or it can be a blessing, as some famously brilliant people have some form of autism. I think even in the severe cases, such as your son, he may not be able to communicate with you what he thinks very well, but I'm sure on some level he really does appreciate, and love you, as much as a thirteen year old boy can anyhow. Like I said, I don't have any personal experiences with autism, and I am largely ignorant on the subject so if I am talking out of my ass on something I stated, didn't mean to...

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13-12-2012, 08:29 AM
RE: I hate autism
(12-12-2012 07:03 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  I just do. I hate that my son is on the spectrum. I hate hate hate that in his whole life, 13 years he's hugged me once. He said, "I love you" once that I remember. I remember him being a cuddly baby. He would hug, blow kisses...

I just don't remember when it stopped, but I know it did. I hate that he doesn't understand what a friend is. He doesn't understand if he's being picked on. He doesn't understand sarcasm or jokes (cartoon humor he does understand). Most of all, I really fucking hate there is NOT one original,thought in his head. Everything is just echoed back from something else -- if only he'd echo Sagan, Dawkins or Hitch i might not mind it) i hate that I can't talk to him about anything, because he can't carry on a conversation beyond a few 3-4 exchanges.

I hate that I can see cartoon shows he watches in his expressions. When he dropped dishes into my sink, it was him, it was Timmy fucking Turner on Fairly Oddparentts.

Finally, I'm not looking to blame immunizations for this, or find out if he eats grubs for a year his autism will be cured. If ONE MORE family member mentions the GFCF diet I'll just scream or mentions that celebrity bitch who ran around saying her kid was cured by it....They forget we tried it and made no difference in his ability and we're not alone.

I don't want to hear that I should pray harder for him it's about as useful.

I just needed to vent and scream for a minute. I hate most of all that I have an IEP meeting tomorrow.

I know that's a hard lot in life. I'm sorry. I wish you and your son the best.

"IN THRUST WE TRUST"

"We were conservative Jews and that meant we obeyed God's Commandments until His rules became a royal pain in the ass."

- Joel Chastnoff, The 188th Crybaby Brigade
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13-12-2012, 09:34 AM
RE: I hate autism
(12-12-2012 11:37 PM)Xinoftruden Wrote:  I hate people who hate autism. Fine rip out the piece of me that makes me who I am. I may quote shows, but they are relevant to the conversation. Learn to enjoy the things it brings into your life, not how much being the mother of your son sucks.
Thank you. Plus one. (I have Asperger Syndrome myself.)
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13-12-2012, 12:21 PM
RE: I hate autism
Today I learned my 7th grader is reading at a 3rd grade level. I'm actually relieved, his IEP meeting went pretty well. He seemed really proud of himself too. Today was a better day.


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13-12-2012, 12:24 PM (This post was last modified: 13-12-2012 01:03 PM by Momsurroundedbyboys.)
RE: I hate autism
(13-12-2012 06:28 AM)Misanthropik Wrote:  I have a friend with autism. He's in his 20's, but he still lives in his mom's basement and he's never had a girlfriend. He just goes to work at the florist (part time), then comes home and watches old movies all night. On occasion I've seen him have light-saber battles with his dad (complete with the Star Wars soundtrack playing, which was creative) and if asked, he'll ramble on and on about '50s movie stars and their legendary roles. I and a few other mutual friends have taken him out before, but he tends to keep quiet the whole time. (Although, on a few occasions he'll speak up with a totally inappropriate, but incredibly hilarious one-liner) I've known him since we were in the 3rd grade and we got along really well. Then, as time passed, I started to realize that while I was growing up; he wasn't. He's matured and gotten smarter, but he still has the outlook of a quiet, set-in-his-ways teenager. In fact, it was only about 2 years ago that he officially figured out how to operate the answering machine on his mom's phone.

When we hang out, his mom sends him off with some mild reservation; which used to irritate me, but I realized that she's basically putting him in my care. When we're out on the town, I interact with him like any other friend, but there's this inherant sense that I'm keeping an eye on him. I hesitate to say "babysitting", but that's more or less what it amounts to.
Having said that, I have an eye for creativity and potential, and I'm helping him to mold his creative streak. As it happens, he's an acting buff, and I'm an aspiring film-maker. With direction and attentiveness, I'm sure he - like any creative but developmentally challenged individual - can reach his potential and surpass any disappointment or heartache he's ever inadvertently caused.

Also, my 8-year-old adopted brother has ADHD, and, I believe, some level of autism (though nobody's looked into it). What you said about "Timmy Turner" gave me a chill. My brother absorbs every horrid fucking cartoon character he watches. From Timmy to Spongebob to whatever obscure cartoons he watches while his face is glued to that damn iPad all day. I know where you're coming from.

Thank you and yes, I totally agree with what you said. Your friend does sound rather like my son in many ways. That's where much of my worry comes from -- the world is a scary place. Edited to add that your friend is very lucky to have you in his life -- and so is your friend's mom. Seriously.
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13-12-2012, 12:28 PM
RE: I hate autism
My youngest sister is on the spectrum (she is 3).
Honestly, I hate it.
I wish that she could utter more than just what we ask her to say.
I wish that she knew how to play with others instead of keeping to herself, when you can tell she wants someone.
I wish that she would sing along with me, instead of yelling at everyone who even mutters a tune.
I wish that she didn't have to go through all of this.
And it breaks my heart to know that she has to.
-tears up-
Honestly, I wish that I was the one with autism and not her.
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